My Philippine Experience – Relatives, I Mean Relathieves

Wife arrives in the States and everything is great for about 1 year. Yes during that year we sent some money to her family but it was never any large amount, never more than 20 dollars a month, nothing to get bent out of shape about. Her father retires and all of a sudden can no longer pay for his meds. 20 becomes 40 becomes 75 becomes 100 and at that point I refuse to send so much as one more dollar as I suspect this will keep going on and on with no end in sight.

Yes her father was legitimately ill but I saw what was happening, which is why I refused to keep helping out. The wife finally gets a job, pays me back the money I spent, and takes over paying her fathers medical bills and meds. Wife toils her ass off for over a year all the while pops condition continually gets worse. Mother continues to play with her emotions over the sick father, 100 a month grew into 1000 a month, and sometimes up to 800 a week when those special hospital visits were needed.

The wife and I argued all the time over it too as we really could have used that extra cash. I would point it out to her that she was just being scammed by her mother and she refused to see what was right in front of her nose. Why is it that every time you send money, your mother and siblings have new things posted on facebook? New improvements and additions to the house, new clothes, tablets, jewelry, 1 brother got a motorcycle, always throwing beer and lechon baboy parties to impress the neighbors and a multitude of other shit they could never afford as a poor family in the rural province.

Maybe she did see it but the fact her pop was so ill was the overriding factor for her, she was always so worried about him and I understood that part. Also during that time she sent one of her sisters and one of her brothers to OFW on the promise of being paid back. The sister actually told her “fuck off, I don’t owe you anything” when the time came for repayment, and the brother just kept giving excuses as to why he can’t repay. Wife doesn’t talk to them anymore.

Wife quits her job, bank account reads a big fat ZERO in her personal balance. (I thank the powers that be which gave me foresight to not have a joint account with her) Still sends money back home when she gets money from her student loans. 2015 she goes back home to visit and finally sees her pop after several years. He is in constant pain, can no longer see, can’t walk, can barely eat, gets left in his own filth in a dark room for days at a time with only a 6 year old granddaughter to watch over him most of the time. Father depressed and despondent says to her, “you know I have been very ill, your mother told me that you refused to help us out”. Light bulb FINALLY goes off!!!!Wife said she had WW3 argument with her mother and finally found out the truth, which was painfully obvious for so long. She also found out that her mother had lied to the OFW siblings and told them my wife refused to send money so she could get the maximum amount of money from them too. Sister gets back home and after sending all her pay to the mother the entire time she worked, mother tells her after 1 week to get a job and start helping or find someplace else to live. She wants my wife to pay for OFW preparations again, brother too. No more money will be sent to these shameless bloodsucking leeches.

After 2 weeks the wife returns to the U.S. Mother still asking for money LOL. 4 months later her father passes away. Wife goes back for the funeral. So many people there she has to sleep outside for 3 days at the house she was scammed into upgrading. She tells me this over the phone and I implore her to get some fortitude and deal with it. She told aunt and uncle to vacate the bedroom and let her get some proper rest or she will get the bolo and kill them. They gave up the room fairly quickly she said, lol. Cousin arrives and immediately asks her for money, no sorry your pop died let me know if you need anything, just gimme money. She said she bitched him out so severely that he left and never came back. Wife knew to hide her personal things away, passport, cash and cards in a money belt. Some shameless fuck went through her things and stole her toothpaste, yes that’s right a used tube of toothpaste, and a small box of single serving packets of coffee. Wife gets back to the States and days later gets a text from mother asking for money. Says it will be a little while until she gets the death benefit and needs help. JFC….


Published in Cultural Rudeness, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of John

    Sending money to wife’s family is a diseases that Filipinas spread all over the world! Why a man should be financially responsible for wife’s family, right after marriage? It’s like you get married with the whole family at once!

  2. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    Christ what a story. Poor you and poor wife. Much of the scamming comes from the family mentality. People don’t like to think their own mum is a crook. Cognitive dissonance.

  3. Profile gravatar of

    Tell the wife to tell them to fuck off, and see this experience as a lesson, most of us has done stupid shit in the past, hopefully she learns from this. All the best to your family.

  4. Profile gravatar of Attila

    Prioritizing her side of the family over her marriage is part of the culture. Many Filipina who moved to the US want a marriage where she doesn’t have to share the expenses and financial responsibilities of the marriage together with her Kano husband. In the name of independence she feels entitled to keep most of her salary and send it back home to her family as she pleases. As if they want to live with a sugar daddy and not a real marriage. Shockingly funny how they believe that providing sex and companionship is a fair trade. Another deal breaker for a Filipina is if her Kano husband get’s critical about how much should be sent to her family and how it should be distributed. If it is not a according the way she sees it fit then her husband may end up labeled as a kuripot and loose her respect. For these Filipinas her side of the family is her true priority and not her new family with her Kano husband. Not all Filipinas are like that and some of them will change and get rid of the cultural thinking with time if she comes to a conflict with her family like in this story.

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      ” In the name of independence “, Don’t you just love it how some woman can be so “independent” when it comes to what they do and how they spend their money, but when it comes to supporting their own ass or their children’s they are totally DEPENDENT and it becomes the mans job, even when the kids aren’t the mans.

      1. Profile gravatar of Tacitus

        Exactly. Women want to be treated as equals. Fine by me. However, don’t be a fucking HYPOCRITE when it comes time for you (women) to support others, get your hands dirty, do hard work and/or manual labor. Feminism does NOT mean you’re entitled to special privileges!!! And let’s face it, Philippino women do not have the mental capacity nor sophistication to make that distinction let alone come from a culture that has even the MOST BASIC fundamental understanding of women’s rights.

        I really hope men on this website come to realize Philippino women are some of the most insecure women in the world and they will project their insecurity onto you in the form of jealousy, spite, drama, buying stupid shit to compensate for their insecurity, and whatever other petty, stupid, childish behaviour they can come up with to make life miserable.

    2. Profile gravatar of kalbo

      In other words the kano, who funds the wife and her family, has lower status. You would think it would be the other way around, with the kano calling the shots. After all Mr Kano is likely to be better educated, from a non corrupt culture and actually has a job / income.

      But no, Mr Kano is treated like a second class citizen, that is, until he leaves his pinay!

      1. Profile gravatar of Attila

        Interesting that the utang na loob is not practiced when it comes to Kanos. No matter how helpful the white foreigner is he will not get the traditional respect from Filipinos. Only the “nice but stupid kano” treatment.

        1. Profile gravatar of kalbo

          Yep attila. There is a 2 tier system in operation. Kanos are expected to give everything with no thanks. Ripping off a kano is also totally ethical to these people.

          I took my bullshit pinay gf on numerous expensive trips. Boracay etc. She never paid for a single thing or thanked me or mentioned these trips after like they didn’t happen. All the research, planning, travel, haggling were also my responsibility.

          However a flip friend of hers bought her a cheap and nasty drink when I was with her. A few months later she thanked her for the drink. Yes she remembered a cheap drink but not the expensive holidays I gave to her.

          More mind-blowing shit!

          1. Profile gravatar of Attila

            Yes that is typical. and very cultural thinking. It is a pride issue with them. Thanking for them is lowering themselves. Out of pride most Filipinas will not thank you. They already feel that you as a white man you are higher and you are blessed therefore for them it would just reinforce your superiority and their inferiority. They counter you by using you. There is name for this: Wise Filipina. Wise for them has a different meaning, it means knowing how to benefit from you and it is not based on true education. Wise Filipinas like to brag about their skills and how good they are at controlling their kano and that impresses her friends and even the community. She feels not only smart but also attractive, after all her Kano choose her for her beauty. They also like to call us stupid for allowing them to use us. This counters their insecurity and make them feel that they are smarter than Kanos. They may believe that we are book smart but we are not wise and actuality we are stupid and naive and have no street-smartness. Since there are no consequences of using a kano they will only feel utang na loob to Filipinos who they are living in a community. Kanos will not earn the respect of Filipinas just by supporting her and her family and treating her. No matter how much he is helping out. I’m not sure what earns a Filipina’s respect when it comes to Kanos. Money certainly will not . For them it is just trade for sex and companionship and it stays that way.

  5. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    Dude, I even know guys that have gone to hospital and then the filipina gf starts talking to the neighbouring people and developing a relationship with them while the foreigner bf is in the ward eg. they cant sleep in ICU so they have to go to a visitors wait area and stay.

    The fucking filipino leeches were hitting on my friends girlfriend for money. One Filipino asked for 20,000 pesos to fund hospital bills. Like what the fuck! The words “can i borrow” roll off their tounges SO FUCKING SMOOOOOOOTH
    its embarassing to ask but not for filipinos as they are shameless people.

    So this guy harasses my friends gf asking for money on the cellphone even rining at 1am.
    buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz— note 2nd thing filipinos do
    invade someones space and has no respect that its 1am …

    Are they that shameless and stupid?

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      I had the same thing happen but in reverse. Wife got admitted to the hospital (drama mostly I think) claiming she could not breath but had no trouble talking or yelling (both of which require breathing). I stayed at the house and let the drama queen have her time on the stage. Well after a few days I went to the hospital and in the bed across from child bride was another woman and her tribe next to her. So after a few hours I left and came back the next day. It was then that wife told me after the womans family saw me and I left they started asking her for thousands of pesos. Like you said, no shame.

      1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

        ” I stayed at the house and let the drama queen have her time on the stage.”, “after a few days I went to the hospital “, are you saying that you didn’t go to the hospital with her? Did you not go and visit her for days? How did you get away with that?

        1. Profile gravatar of Mike

          Well. I figured it this way. If she could get up, walk around yelling and telling the help what to pack for the hospital then she was not in as much trouble as she made out. So off she went and there she stayed for 3 days before I showed up, PEACE AND QUIET for 3 DAYS!!!! Rest assured she brings it up once in a while, rewind as they say. So I just tell her “Ok, next time I’ll help. I’ll take a ball pen apart, get a knife and do a trach on you.” That shuts her up.

  6. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    invade someones space and has no respect that its 1am …”

    What about invading someone’s personal space? Think her face 6 inches from you showering you with saliva at the same time when she tells you her woes.

    During one of our Philippine holidays, one of Mum’s realthieves called me over:

    Realthief: hoy! Inday Sarah, come here I have something urgent to tell you!
    Me: What is it?
    Realthief: ah kuan, you know, kuan….
    Me: what is kuan?
    Realthief: ah, you know, my husband lost his job 3 months ago, and ah, kuan…
    Me: yes?
    Realthief: ah, we, ah, am too shy…
    Me: Well, I’m off to the beach. When you’re not too shy, you know where to find me. (and off I went. I barely put my bags down when here comes Mrs. Kuan. She did not wait too long huh?).
    Realthief: Inday Sarah, ah, you know, my husband lost his job and we have a P5000 electric bill and if I don’t pay it by 5pm today, we will get our electricity cut. So I’m wondering if you can loan me P5000 so we can pay our bill.
    Me: P5000 for electric bill?? What appliances are you running?
    Realthief: Ah, see the baby apo (grandchild) won’t sleep unless the aircon is on, that’s why.
    Me: And how are you going to pay me back if your husband is out of a job?
    Realthief: Ah, my daughter works at Ayala. She gets paid next Saturday. I’ll give it to you then. I promise.
    Me: Sorry, I am leaving following day, I can’t wait till Saturday.
    Realthief: (very persistent) I will give it to your Aunt, I promise. (yeah, sure! they must really think I’m stupid!)
    Me: Sorry, I am saving my pesos to give away to my little cousins in Manila. (you should have seen the shock in her face – priceless!) 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Help Al, Polish King and me!! We’re out of beer!! We only need P20,000 and Hey Joe will pay you back Saturday next. We promise!!

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        Hoy! @oldnavyfart Mike;
        Who do you think I am?? a rich kano or something??? Get me drunk and have your way with me?? 🙂
        If you want your money you will have to come and get it. And everyone knows you will be killed if you dare step one foot on this island, everyone says so, so it must be true.

        Ass, gas or grass.. no one rides for free.

    2. Profile gravatar of

      Using aircon?WTF? Even me a foreigner from a cold country trying to save on the aircon sometimes even in the night. BTW electricity here is a bit expensive though.

  7. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    I can only imagine this happening to me in the states. I already told my idiot wife that if she is coming to the states with me, she is getting a job and she will be the one to support her lazy sack of shit family, not me! I’m already going beyond my obligation to support them out of good character, and the only reason why she refuses to get a job because she believes the salary here is too low, but to me something will be better than nothing. At least it will lessen the amount of money I send them monthly. If she doesn’t get a job in the states “if” I bring her there then I will simply move on to another woman. Simple as that! I refuse to babysit some grown ass people, especially pinoys!