My Poisonous Ex-Sister-in-Law

My youngest brother married a Filipina 11 years ago. He died two years ago aged just 49 – we strongly believe that she was indirectly/directly responsible for his death.

It’s been a Godsend reading the stories on this website. The key Filipina traits mentioned here are exactly those which my brother suffered for so many years.

Here is just a brief summary of his marriage:

My brother had epilepsy (since age 17) and was told he had psychological problems for many years – in fact, when he finally had an MRI scan, he was found to have calcium digging into his brain, but the psychological scars remained – he had very low self-esteem.

He met his ‘wife’ through her sister who happened to be his client (my brother and his ‘wife’s sister live(d) in the UK). My brother travelled to the Philippines to be met by the whole family asking him what his intentions were ie marriage.

My brother’s whole family and friends tried to warn him against the marriage, but he went ahead with it – he not only married the woman, he married her family, plus she had an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. After the wedding (800 of her family/friends etc), she left him, took his credit card for several days and spent as if there was no tomorrow.

His ‘wife’ started by being the ‘perfect wife’, produced the obligatory child (money money money), then her true colours showed. Money was all she was interested in, and if my brother didn’t let her spend exactly what she wanted (thousands of pounds a month), she rang the police, accusing him of being drunk (he wasn’t), abusing her plus the children (he didn’t); she called Social Services so many times – because there were children involved, they had to investigate. She isolated him from his family and friends – refused to let him have contact with us/them. He was suicidal – she didn’t care – just blamed him for not letting her spend his money (on total rubbish). I took several phonecalls from him as he was by the canal – he couldn’t cope.

We did our utmost to look after her and her daughter – we welcomed them completely into the family, and spent a lot of time and money on them. My Sister-in-law/hell (SIL) was mostly interested in telling us that my brother wouldn’t let her spend money the way she wanted.

Finally, my S.I.L. took herself off to a refuge, accusing my brother of attempted rape (no exaggeration – he is/was the most gentle and upstanding man). She was aided and abetted by a totally incompetent Social Services (this is no criticism of Social Services – I have many friends who work in SS) – this is just my/his personal experience. I couldn’t understand how my SIL managed to get all the authorities on her side – but we believe she’d already mapped out her strategy back in the Philippines – suck in vulnerable and desperate man, have child with him, accuse him of all sorts of abhorrent behaviour towards her and the children, divorce, then collect the house and all his money.

My brother paid for a fantastic solicitor – very caring and knowledgeable about overseas law. I became involved on a daily basis, because it was so serious – my brother could have been jailed because of her lies (which continued through three Court Cases) – she lied and lied and lied. Luckily, we’d tracked every conversation, e-mail, text, so could prove all her lies in Court – I attended all meetings with my brother’s solicitor plus Court hearings – my brother was worn down completely – plus the Court believed him and gave him 3 – 5 days access to his son a week (weekends at our house, plus after school) – we had to fight to get access – if her Social Workers had their way, my brother would have been on the street and my S.I.L. would have had her feet firmly under the carpet at my brother’s house – without having put any effort in at all.

She used every ounce of emotional abuse on my brother (after having emptied his bank account and our father’s inheritance completely). She was poison through and through – I’ve never felt so much blackness and nastiness in my whole life. I thought it was personal towards my brother and me (by default, because I made him stand up to his ‘wife’). She wanted a divorce, then tried to have sex with my brother (after accusing him of attempted rape – to produce another child for my brother to support). She was quite happy for him to be kicked out of his own home – on the street – she’s never put a penny into the house, and never done a day’s work in her life.

My brother finally called the police for all her emotional abuse, multiple nasty telephone calls, e-mails and text messages at all times of the day and night – she was pure poison. The policeman who visited said he’d seen this sort of behaviour so many times – he was great, but it was too late. My brother was so emotionally torn, wiped out that he died less than a week later – he was only 49.

His ‘wife’ refused to pay for his funeral (out of his own money) – she posted photos on Facebook of herself plus sis and daughter with about 20 designer handbags they’d bought a week or so later. Then we received letters from her solicitor stating she never wanted to see us again (me in particular, because I’d encouraged my brother to stand up to her), and she’s now back in the Philippines showing off her spending (rather than caring for her children’s future).

My head has been spinning the past two years since my brother died. I thought my S.I.L. was a one-off, but it appears she’s part of a totally unsavoury culture. She destroyed my brother, has tried to destroy me (because I stood up to her and got my brother to stand up to her).

For anyone still considering marrying a Filipino (because they’re gentle, people-pleasers), please don’t.
The race is hard-nosed, greedy and completely different to what we’re used to in the West.

The reason why I’m posting a little bit about my brother’s story (and ours), is to save at least one other person from being sucked into this wicked race’s greed, poison and nastiness. ‘foreign man seeking relationship’ – please leave, don’t look back, you have only had a small taste of the worst life imaginable – get out whilst you can, even if you leave all your possessions behind – it’s a price well worth paying.

I hope it’s acceptable to post this story here – my brother didn’t live in the Philippines, but all the nastiness, greed, poison, laziness, immoral, leeching behaviour came from the Philippines and Filipinas/Filipinos. There is so much more I could write, but I’m still full of anger at a wasted (good) life, whilst the leeches continue their lazy, immoral lives without a care for anyone they hurt.

Published in Filipina Wife


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I’ve known many people who have fallen into this trap. They can’t be warned. They can’t be talked out of it. All you can do is be a friend, and help them to pick up the pieces later on. Anyone who comes here for a brief visit, then takes a woman back to their first world country to marry, could not know what the culture is really like, or appreciate the consequences which follow that.

    It took me years of living here to even begin to get across the near universal narcissism, laziness, blaming, dishonesty, moral bankruptcy, ignorance and breathtaking stupidity of the average Pinoy. It just isn’t possible to do a whirlwind tour of the place and see all of that. It’s no good thinking that this one of “different” either. That takes years of being with somebody to really find out. The only “safe” way to marry a Pinay is to spend at least several years living with her, in the Philippines. Even after that, the “culture shock” of a fist world country changes people (even good ones).

    My personal view; Don’t take the flowers out of the garden.

    1. Profile gravatar of Beavis

      I agree. Nothing you can do to stop it. It’s not like these men are even blind – usually they are not. Sure, they see the warning signs well beforehand. Sure, they know all about the horror stories, and sure they hear the warnings. I think the vast majority of men really do have a nagging little inkling of what they are getting into, even if they don’t understand just how deep the cultural differences are.

      But that won’t happen to me, these men are thinking. Because I’m different from all those other men. Sure that girl is a snake, but I can turn her around. Because I’m not like them, and she will see that. And she will learn to respect me and love me. Because she has never met a man like me.

      1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

        Yep, those little red flags, that little voice in your head, it’s not paranoia….. RUN, do not pass go, do not collect $200, RUN LIKE HELL!

      2. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
        PWYFYB Post author

        Exactly right, Beavis.

        My brother (and other Western men) think the Filipina will be grateful she’s been taken out of poverty by a knight in shining armour, and they’ll live happily ever after. My brother did his utmost to make his wife happy (as did we), but nothing ever was or could be good enough for her. I know of many other men who have been sucked into such duplicity – it’s scary.

    2. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
      PWYFYB Post author

      CyberGod, you are right. So many men (and women) travel abroad to find the ‘right’ partner, from a completely different culture, and then can’t understand why things don’t work out.

      Unfortunately, my brother thought he knew his bride-to-be, because her sister had lived in the UK for many years, and is married (for the second time) to an Englishman. They were friends of my brother, and the sister was also a client (my brother was a self-employed accountant). My brother thought he’d found the perfect wife-to-be, and he wouldn’t listen to his family and friends – he was just so desperate to have a normal family life, as we all want.
      The reason why I’m posting his sad story here, is because it might make some men think before taking the plunge, and it could help save them from a life of misery.

      I agree ‘with you don’t take the flower out of the garden’. My brother took the stinging nettle out of the garden!

    3. Profile gravatar of Harley

      I’m angered by how those con artists cold-heartedly destroy others’ hearts lives and entire life savings. I’m further saddened knowing that all the efforts to warn guys (in the rosy-colored glasses stage) falls on deaf ears and they won’t be talked out of further involvement with filipinas. It seems that in the human race people often don’t heed the red flags (which as some posters on here have said that these guys even had an uneasy gut feeling but still went ahead) and end up learning the long hard painful way. Then only in hindsight they try to warn others. But a rare few will take the warnings and its good to get the word out there like what this site is doing.

      I like what cybergod and others on here have said many of these guys just don’t know what they are getting themselves into (rose-colored glasses) and are not prepared for huge cultural difference, the savage brutality. We who have grown up in western countries (if from better socio-economic conditions) have had the luxury of being somewhat shielded from the harsh barbaric cruelty that they have come from. The big mistake is feeling sorry for them as if you ‘help’ or aid can actually help them, which it cannot. So many guys have this fantasy that they can turn that ‘poor unfortunate’ girl into a loving wife only to find out much further down the road that it was a fantasy. Or they think she will appreciate all he’s done for her which in my opinion the filipina are the worst, most unthankful. They cannot be changed or made into something else. Only they can change themselves, and only if they really took the action steps to do it, but sadly they don’t want to do that. When I have told certain ones of them how rude and bad their behavior is the ultimate reply is ‘we don’t care’. Everything about their situation is their own continued making. Only they can get themselves out of it, by working hard. But sadly they choose laziness and to freeload off of others.

      I’ll share with you this site I came across:

      Its about community building (solutions to poverty) and the biggest problem is their dependency mentality. It also talks about how all the ‘aid’ doesn’t help them, it just makes the dependency worse.

      I have heard some people describe them as sociopaths. Before I lived in the Philippines I didn’t even know what a sociopath was. I can say after having experienced being around those people that they are psychotic and sociopaths. They come from a drastically different family and culture than most in the west do. Just the sheer volume (constant pounding loudness) would be enough to drive any sane person to madness. How can anyone ever learn to use their brain to think critically and rationally (with reflection) in all the constant loud noise that they grow up in. They shout loudly non stop, loudly on their phones in public, dogs barking roosters crowing and jeepnesy constant blowing their horns, full volume videoke, it never ends. I believe many of their families are basically abusive (or certainly unhealthy) but they are conditioned to believe it is normal, but to us it is utterly appalling; how they yell at each other, how they false guilt trip each other, how they constantly accuse and question every pithy thing ‘why why why’, how they provoke each other endlessly to bickering and fights on stupid pithy things even. Its some type of insanity. This is truly their ruthless nature that they have been brought up in, to use and abuse others, each other, which they learn from their families and neighborhoods. I think that unless a western guys has seen this kind of barbaric lifestyle with his own eyes he just doesn’t know what shameless despicable people he is getting himself involved with…. such supposedly nice sweet talking lady, but pay attention to those red flags, it could end up saving your life.

      I particularly like this thread as one poster on here gave a list of red flags. And I would tell anyone, including myself, to take these to heart. I mean come on be real, what are guys thinking when getting involved with a girl 20 years younger or 40 years younger. ‘out of one’s league’ should be taken very seriously, realistically. There is a huge price tag to that. A young hot (or not hot) girl generations younger…. yeah, the ‘catch’ is that and her and her family will clean you out totally. Is that the price you’re willing to pay? For some guys yes. But for many many others they don’t realize (and the girl might hide this agenda for a long time) is that the guy will be expected to not only take care of the girl but also her entire extended family forever, indefinitely. That is NOT what most western guys are prepared to do, or would want to do, or even can do indefinitely.

      I have read many forums. Some guys stress to set limits. Some guys think they nailed that problem by talking in advance and girl agreeing to this and that. Maybe in western relationship those ‘agreements’ might be kept in tact. But what they don’t realize is that these chameleons will verbally agree to almost anything and try to appear to be anything you want them to be…long enough to snare you. As long as the money is good. But then they show their true colors. And it takes time to really know someone, or to know a culture of people. She might not directly or verbally demand money, but she’ll give silent treatment which she refuses to talk about it, its manipulative and it creates misery in the relationship. Then after several times of this punishment she might vaguely elude to how she just feels sorry for her family. and on and on the manipulations go. Its all steering towards sending money, and it never ends, and its never enough.

        1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
          Hey Joe

          If she is anything like my wife, you could not so much as slide a razor blade in between them shoes.
          And may God have mercy on you if you dare say one word about it. 😉

  2. Profile gravatar of Angel

    I don’t know what to say, except that I’m very sorry for your loss. Sounds like your brother was a pretty nice guy. Wish he could have found a better Filipina than the one he married. I know that the saying “not all of them are like that” is all used up, but it’s true. The sad thing is that “most of them are like that”. Which is also the reason why most Filipinos are living in squalor with no hope for the future.

    1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
      PWYFYB Post author

      Thank you very much for your kind reply. My brother was actually very gentle – all he ever wanted was a simple family life with a wife and children for him to cherish. I now know that he isn’t the only ‘sucker’ to have been duped by a Filipina b1tch. There are thousands and thousands more Western men who are living lives of misery, because they hooked up with a ‘soft, pliable, gentle, caring – and I use those words with a great degree of sarcasm ‘ Filipina.

      The greed and nastiness of this race is something I have never seen anywhere else (but from Gerd’s post below, it appears to be common in other nations too).

      There is an incredible sense of entitlement – ‘I give you nothing and I do nothing for you, but you have to give me loads of money for phones, clothes, fripperies – and if you don’t , I’ll call the police and accuse you of attempted rape etc’.

      Then the family freeloaders come out of the woodwork. I’m still getting second cousins-three times removed FBing me ‘hello ma’am. How are you?’ Always polite to start with – then the request for money – as if it’s their right. I ignore them all and block, but none of us would ever dream of asking for money from total strangers half way round the world.

      1. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
        Phil Doh

        “I’m still getting second cousins-three times removed FBing me ‘hello ma’am. How are you?’ Always polite to start with – then the request for money – as if it’s their right.”

        Entertain them, and then send them on the fake western union transaction id merry go round.

        1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
          PWYFYB Post author

          That’s a truly wicked thing to suggest, Phil Doh!!!!….. (as she races off to set up a pile of fake money transactions..!!…..).

          The thing is, they don’t realise we’re now totally clued up to their devious, money-grabbing, scabby ways, so they’ll never pull the wool over our eyes any more.

          You seem a very decent, kind, caring sort, Phil Doh. My great grandmother, she need food and blankets – you send me money – I grateful (but I only grateful if you send lots of money)…..

          1. Profile gravatar of Mike

            If you ask filipinos, no one on this site is decent. But, do we look, talk or act like we give a fuck what they think?

  3. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    Dear PWYFYB,

    thanks for your article; it seems to me very helpful for people that are thinking about marrying a partner from a “less fortunate” country. Unfortunately, I saw these similar (wrong) behavioural patterns also in women from Eastern Europe (Romania, Moldova, Ukraine, etc) that marry Western men (Americans, Canadians, Germans, British, Scandinavians, etc). I also saw these behavioural patterns in men from Cape Verde, Jamaica, Senegal marrying Western women (there’s even a TV show in UK about it, called “Love rats”, about middle-aged or elderly British women duped by men from “less fortunate” countries, that see them just as an “entry ticket” into Europe, US, Canada, etc).
    I heard many horror stories about Moldovan and Romanian caregivers with the person they “assist” (usually a man that is much older than them; these women seem to be the “perfect, traditional wife”. Once they are married, they steal everything they can and severely mistreat the elderly man, so he “kicks the bucket” and inherit all his belongings; then, they call the whole family from their village in Moldova or Romania, often with the husband they divorced, to remarry him in the West); and I have a dear lady friend of mine left penniless and broken-hearted by her chocolate-colored Greek god. It took her a LONG time to recover from this scumbag!
    Well, basing myself on my personal experience, I want to write a list that might help to avoid being “sucked in” in a potentially dangerous relationship (this list is supposed to be valid for men and women).

    1) Does your partner seems to be “out of your league” for his/her looks, age, mentality, ideas? RED FLAG
    2) Does your partner’s income match with his/her lifestyle? RED FLAG
    3) Does your partner wants to do things too hastily (marrying, having kids, get engaged?) RED FLAG
    4) Does your partner like to talk about money (what to do with it, where do you keep it, “how much do you make in one year”, “are you a home-owner”?) RED FLAG
    5) Does your partner have kids from previous relationships (he/she might have tried to play the “divorce lottery” with alimony, child support…call it whatever you like) RED FLAG
    6) Does your partner seems to appreciate just important, expensive gifts, instead of small, but thoughtful ones? (such as a poem, a flower, instead of designer purses or shoes?) RED FLAG
    7) Look at his/her friends and/or family. Do they talk about money all the time, flashing their possessions or ask you about your money and possessions 5 minutes after having met you? RED FLAG
    8) Doesn’t your partner respect your boundaries and your belongings? (privacy, leaving your the possibility of pursuing your hobbies, to be with your family and friends, does he/she uses your phone to call his/her family in his/her home country and talk for hours?) RED FLAG
    9) Doesn’t your partner say “thank you” when you do something nice for him/her? Does he/she thinks that “he/she has a right to everything” and “the whole world revolves around him/her?” RED FLAG
    10) Doesn’t your partner help your when YOU need something, shrugging off and simply saying “It’s your problem?” RED FLAG.

    If your relationship shows almost 4 or 5 of these “red flags”, perhaps I should quote a line from a famous movie “Run Forrest, run!”

    1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
      PWYFYB Post author

      Thank you very much for your reply, Gerd. If I were to answer your post honestly about my brother, I would have to say that your points 2 to 10 applied to my brother’s wife. Unfortunately these women are mostly able to hide some of their abhorrent behaviour until after the man has been sucked in and produced the obligatory child (lifetime money earner).

      The only point that didn’t apply to my brother’s wife was number 1 – she’s thick beyond belief (unless she’s counting how many designer handbags she’s spent my brother’s hard-earned money on); and she’s not pretty at all – no amount of designer clothes or white face paint will make her any prettier.

      So for anyone looking to marry a Filipina, please think long and hard whether she (and her family) are right for you. The cultural differences are huge.

    1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
      PWYFYB Post author

      Hawk eye,
      My brother’s wife was the youngest of eight. Her dad died when she was young . She roamed the streets, doing whatever she wanted, and didn’t get much of an education (i do have sympathy for all that, but there are plenty of people who don’t have the perfect start in life who don’t turn out vicious, poisonous liars who don’t care what they do to get what they want).

      She became a singer in a local band (her voice is dreadful, and that’s not me being spiteful – it’s harsh and out of tune). She became pregnant by the DJ who promptly made her friend pregnant the next month. He would have nothing to do with the child (my niece) and provided no financial support. My sister-in-law had to move in with her family whilst her child was growing up. We were told that being an un- married mother put you at the bottom of the pile in the Philippines.

      When my brother came on the scene and married my SIL, he provided a much improved social standing for her as well as lots of money (which she very quickly got used to before the wedding).

      As a family, we made her and her daughter extremely welcome, but nothing was ever enough for her. Where on earth did she get this grandiose sense of entitlement, when she did not do one thing to merit it – I don’t know, but I’ve read about so many other women who have done the same. I do not think this poisonous attitude is unique to my SIL, and none of her background justifies it.

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover

        They believe fucking and breeding should be rewarded! That’s part of the culture. You make a mistake and have babies, you must be rewarded for it! Stupid mistakes and horrible life decisions are praised and supported by this culture. They feel entitled for being useless breeders. Its something respected and admired in the Philippines. “You have 8 kids you can’t support? Wow, you’re amazing! This deserves rewards! Can I give you all of my worldly possessions until I die because of your absent minded actions? Let me shower you with gifts because you deserve to rewarded for having 8 kid’s”

        That is what they believe and promote in this culture!

      2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        “We were told that being an un- married mother put you at the bottom of the pile in the Philippines.”

        That is correct. And it is common knowledge over in the Philippines that Kanos don’t mind single mums. The Pinoy boys won’t touch them with a 10 foot pole, but Kanos get the Pinays considered “soiled and discarded” by Filipino society. Therefore, Kanos are seen as the savior by majority of these women. But you think they’d be grateful when some unsuspecting Kano picks them up and their ‘baggage’ (child from another man)? Of course not! Their true nature eventually comes out and they walk all over and take advantage of that “knight in the shining armor” who saved them from a miserable existence in the Failippines.

        1. Profile gravatar of kalbo

          OMG Sarah! That’s so f***cking true! I’ve got a well trusted flip mate who tells me exactly the same thing – that single mothers are just bottom of the heap in the philippines!

          My theory of flip behaviour is called Overcompensation. It’s like a coiled spring pushed down and when given a prod by the unsuspecting, will ping back straight up into their face!

          Another thing I learnt from my flipipina friend is that the jealousy and possessiveness exhibited is not driven from love, it’s acually about protecting their investment. Investment? what did they invest? Their pussies of course! Dont you know how much work it takes to lay on your back a couple of times a week? All that hard work!

          1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            Absolutely Kalbo!! I have a Kano friend (just platonic friendship, no romance involve) I hang out with whenevern I’m in the province. Every time I arrive in the country, the mother of his child (he refuses to call her “GF”) goes spastic with jealousy even though he’s told her several times that we’re just friends and that I don’t need his money.

            I told him that the jealousy was money driven. These little gold diggers are scared of rivals… your wallet. Even if you’re not Kano, same thing, they are afraid that you would spend more money on the other girl than her! It’s all about the fucking money!!!! The Narcissists in action. Biggie, where the hell are you? Would like your input here please 🙂

          2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            I’m not allowed to talk to you Sarah, she got jealous when I commented “We all do” to your comment about the 15 year/20 GF Aussie who said he wished he met you earlier. She gives me visions of Lorena Bobbitt. I’m going to have to give Al my real name, if I’m missing from the blog for more than a week you guys need to chip in so Al can bring me smokes in the BI jail. No food though, I want to either smoke myself to death or starve to death as quickly as possible.

        2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          “Their true nature eventually comes out and they walk all over and take advantage of “, been there, done that, have the missing assets to prove it. After X1 I made it a hard rule, NO pinay with a kid. It’s not that I want them so young, it’s that I will not let them use their kid as a way to use me again. It’s a shock when you realize you love the kid more than they do.

          1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            Biggie, I can smuggle in dried fish to accompany the week old rice they’re gonna feed you in BI detention 🙂

          2. Profile gravatar of Mike

            I can relate. Last meal was a bowl of chicken soup with taters at about noon on the 26th. Yes dinner was cooked but it was that dried fish crap so they all ate. Wife said would get my dinner, never happened. No breakfast this am as they did not cook. So wife comes in and aske if hungry and ready to eat to which I said yes. She brings a plate with two large lumpia like rolls and BBQ pork. I just get two bites off on roll and she walks in, ask if I’m gonna eat that and walks off with a roll. Well one of her kin is here so I did the only thing I could.

            I took the plate with the half eaten roll and pork back into where she was sitting and sat it on the table when she asked if I was done. I just looked at her and said “You might as well eat that too.” and walked off.

          3. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
            PWYFYB Post author

            BLX2 – ‘It’s a shock when you realize you love the kid more than they do’
            So true, but the shocking thing is that the children know it. I don’t understand the complete lack of a maternal instinct (please don’t think this is a generalisation against all Filipinas – just my own experience of my SIL/her family/my brother with the children, observations and the many, many stories I’ve read recently).
            They’re prepared to use their kids to get money and possessions – they don’t care how they do it, and how traumatising it can be for the children. I’m now seeing the cycle start to repeat itself in my brother’s step-daughter – she hasn’t quite honed all the skills (she’s 18), but given a little more time and practice, I’m pretty sure she will do.
            Is there any hope for these people?

  4. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    Dear PWYFYB,

    really, I’m really sorry for your brother…all you can do is spreading your story and your SIL one as much as possible, so everyone thinks twice before getting “sucked in” by a potentially dangerous relationship. I saw too many cases of people like your SIL that when they arrive in Europe, USA or Canada think that the world is revolving around them and they expect everything and do nothing in return, biting the hand that feeds them. I write you two exampes.

    1) a friend of mine (I’ll call her Beth here) was vacationing in the Dominican Republic and met a local guy there. This guy was also in a situation like your SIL (a broken home, no stable income, not even an ID proving his identity, together with grandiose fantasies and thought he was some sort of god just because he was good in the sack) and started exploiting Beth. Beth opened him a restaurant, went to the bank, obtained a loan for him upon her name, corrupted many Dominican officials to let him have an ID…not even having an ID, can you imagine! Then, as this guy had no clue how to run a business (like many Filipinos, as I read…) the restaurant went bankrupt (because he invited all his lazybum friends to eat there and when Beth said that they also needed to pay, he called her a “stupid, mean cow, they were his friends, she didn’t understand their culture, etc”), the restaurant went bankrupt and my friend Beth needed to borrow from all her friends to get out from this mess with the bank and she came back to Europe penniless and broken-hearted; of course, when her chocolate colored Greek god sucked her dry, he waved her goodbye. When she was looking at this situation with rose-colored lenses, I tried to warn her many times about her Dominican BF, but she always called me an “intolerant racist” and sometimes “frigid”. I strongly hope she learnt her lesson…

    2) A friend of mine (I’ll call her Jenny here) met a guy from Eastern Europe. He also came from a broken home and a troubled childhood. He seemed to have a business, to be a decent guy…at the beginning (honeymoon phase) everything was perfect, they seemed a wonderful couple, etc…then this guy started showing his true colours. He said he lost his job (and made no effort to find another, freeloading from my friend), then he started saying that Jenny wasn’t a good housekeeper (the pot calls the kettle back…he didn’t lift a finger in the house, just sat on the sofa, tanning in the garden, smoking, watching TV) and couldn’t do anything right, he didn’t give her a penny to pay the home bills or for groceries. He started saying that all her friends were stupid and worthless, while he believed he was “special”, “unique” and with grandiose fantasies about career (while he didn’t even bother to go to a job center to find a job), he started saying that Jenny’s family were bad people, jealous of them and they didn’t understand them (he tried to isolate Jenny from her family, but she was working in the family business, so he couldn’t do much, thank God…and I repeat that Jenny was the only breadwinner of the house) and decided where and when Jenny could meet her friends. Once Jenny came to me (he was away on a “business trip”, although Jenny never saw neither a penny nor a job…Jenny’s friends tried to help him to find a job, but nothing was good enough for him) and told me that doctors found a serious condition and she needed to be hospitalized and undergo a surgery. When she told him so, he packed his stuff and went, saying that “his life was complicated enough, he didn’t need lame dogs in it”. When Jenny told me about his horrible behaviour when I visited her in hospital, I told her “Jen, you had a lucky escape. If this guy was really “The One”, he wouldn’t have abandoned you like this. From this point of view, your problem gave you the possibility of getting rid of that narcissistic and selfish piece of trash”. Thank God that her condition “saved” her from this selfish freeloader… and since that sad episode, she learnt how to spot a narcissist and an emotional abuser MUCH earlier, not to end up brokenhearted for people that don’t deserve it.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      I thank you and the others who posted that not only filipinos do this. But it must also be said that those who post here post their own experiences with this shit hole.

  5. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    Hi Mike,

    I understand that this site is about the difficulties you have in the Philippines; I just want to warn you about other “less fortunate” people looking for a better life with a foreign partner, in case you leave your problematic Filipino partner, manage to come back to the West , leaving all these problems behind (just to make an example) and you meet somebody else from a “less fortunate” country. Keep your eyes open, because these people that seem so “harmless” and about whom we often say “oh, poor things”, aren’t as kind and harmless as they seem. So, before believing their sob stories, think twice.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      I know others do the same thing as filipinos and will not deny that. Reading my reply I see where there might be confusion by what I said. allow me to clarify. I know as well as others o this site that filipinos are not the only ones to do this. What I mean those here have experience with filipinos and that is what we base our post on. Does my wifes family ask me for money? No. Do they live with us it just show up? No. Are all filipinos fucking rude, ill mannered assholes? No. You brought up the point that not only filipinos do this, and you are right. But what I post and I think others do is based on our experiences in the philippines and with filipinos.

      I have been to 5 out of the 7 contingents and the philippines is by far the worst. But granted I have not been to Africa.

      1. Profile gravatar of Gerd

        Dear Mike,

        I lived in Eastern Europe (Russia, to be precise) for 5 years and I heard many stories more or less like I read in this forum about Filipinos…I saw many Western men sucked dry (both in Russia and in the Western World) by a Russian blonde supermodel look-a-like, and they believed to marry “a supermodel look-a-like with the morals of my grandma”; Russia and Ukraine also have a strong “mail order bride” tradition…a bit like the Philippines.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      I know of what you speak. I had items bought and sent to my house in the U.S that I did not order. They were returned to the seller asap. Seems some people I chatted with used stolen credit cards, had the items sent to my house and wanted me to forward it to them. Got fake money orders in the mail and such.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        To Gerd
        Russians have made to all over the world,, Lots of them in canada,, now, Thailand has lots of russian tourists too.
        I worked with them in Saudi Arabia

      2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        Yes, that is a big scam because the shipper probably wont ship it to Nigeria or wherever the scammer is,
        Hell , in canada they get fone calls from the revenue office claiming they owe money,, Of course you can hear a clear distinct Indian accent on the fone.

  6. Profile gravatar of Barry Smyth
    Barry Smyth

    Mate I need to reply to this as well and will add nothing other than to say this is so true in many case’s in the Philippines I am semi living in the Philippines and hear this sort of stuff daily.
    Morals they have none and yes its money sell yourself or our kids for money is just like making a judgment on which new T.V to buy.
    I see every day fools that think she loves them I have one with me and for over the past 5/6 yrs on and off when she thought I would not return because of my illness she jump right into bed with the next guy that came along showering her with gifts he has lost out she is back in my bed.
    Why you should ask, because she is good in the sack takes care of the house and does not get in my face and most importantly to me I can control her.
    After all my years dealing with them and being married to one for so many years like 35 yrs would I adive someone to marry one my answer is— NO ENJOY, KEEP HER IN THE PHILIPPINES AND NEVER TAKE HER HOME YOUR PROBLEMS WILL THEN START…….

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      You might find this odd. I married my first wife in 1983 and we were married 22 years until her “mood swings” started. This wife was a pinay and we talked everything over as a couple and then made a decision. I brought her to the states in Dec 1982 and everything was great. It was not until about 1994 that she started acting like a pinay. I had two full time jobs and she worked at one but got all the OT she could. Yes there are good ones out there. Just very hard to find.

  7. Profile gravatar of
    sorry sir we dont have

    it also has reason many foreigners looking for a a young pretty philippina.
    So must not be surprised that even the young pretty Filipinas have a reason older foreigners to marry.
    come here and grab a nice one, without knowing this people, is doomed to failure.

    just foreigners fail !!

    I think you could ever own blog make about the stupidity of foreigners, specially foreign men.
    I live for eight years here, have lots of girlfriends, and I paid my money learning.
    Now I am happily married to a loving Filipina, with a decent family.

    it’s just not a takeaway for girls. and many foreigners are thinking just like this ….

    first you have to study stupidity, laziness and rats until you’re ready for a pinay 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
      PWYFYB Post author

      You may have a point about a lot of foreigners who come to the Philippines expecting to buy a submissive, compliant wife, and they wonder why it doesn’t work.

      My article here is about someone (my brother) who tried to give his wife and her daughter a good way of life – he was gentle, kind and would have done anything for them. As soon as the wedding ring was on his wife’s finger, she started calling the police out at all hours accusing my brother of being drunk – lies (they had to investigate, because there were children in the house), she had repeat dial to social services accusing my brother of abusing her and the children, and attempting to rape her – lies. She wangled her way into a refuge for abused wives – then contacted my brother asking him to bring her designer handbag to the refuge. That’s just a few of the things she did. She was also an expert control freak and psychological manipulator.

      Do you want me to continue??

      Just because my brother was a foreigner, do you really think he deserved to be treated like that? Do you think any human deserves to be treated like that? I don’t .

  8. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover

    What a horrible story. I can totally relate to your story and luckily for me, I have been able to avoid these cock roaches from ruining me and my sons life. From my experience with my common laws parents is that they only care about one thing and that is money. They are merely pimps, pimping their children for money and put status and useless items above EVERYTHING ELSE. A good majority of these people are cock roaches and only know how to fuck, freeload and fuck some more. That’s what their ancestors have taught them and it’s been going on for decades and decades, creating this vicious cycle of breeding and begging, wanting rewards for being fucktards. The more I learn about the “culture” and “family” the more my blood boils.

    On a positive note, here is what will happen to that cynical, black heart bitch that your brother married. She will first spend all that money on useless items and message her ego, then when she runs out, she will be right back to where she was. A useless, parasitic, freeloading breeder wanting to breed with another sucker for money. If you read one of my articles about my wife’s aunt I think you’ll feel better about your situation. The aunt killed for money and ended up with nothing and is slowly and painfully dying of cancer and I’m sure the same thing will happen to this bitch wife of your brothers.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Been while since we saw you here. Thought maybe you went to jail for murder so we were setting it up for Al to smuggle you cigarettes.

  9. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
    PWYFYB Post author

    PL, thank you very much for your comments. Anyone reading this thread (or even this blog) may be forgiven for thinking we’re just being cruel about the poor Filipinas. Wait until any of them are sucked into this poisonous, greedy, superficial, pointless, wicked existence. My ex SIL doesn’t card about her children – my brother’s son is just used to show off – he’s a handsome boy with a pale skin, then he’s shoved back in front of the ipad and shouted at. Her family are greedy freeloaders – she’s p1ssing them off, because she’s not sharing enough of my brother’s money with them, so they can buy the latest designer clothes, phone (how many phones do they need) and crap food, (even though the should be used to bring the children up. Anyone heard of getting a job or – shock horror – earning money to support oneself??

    Although my family ‘joke’ about her – buyabride, FAB (fat-arsed-bitch), TCW (treble-chinned wonder), she really has spread a web of lies, deceipt and blackness over my whole family – thick as two short planks, but cunning beyond belief behind that oh-so-innocent face. She managed to get all Social Services on her side (poor foreign girl with a baby) married to that nasty alcoholic brute who attempted to rape her and the children were so frightened of him ( these lowlifes can make anything up and the authorities have to investigate – mud always stick). Luckily my brother had an excellent solicitor and three good judges at Court who managed to get him 3-5 days a week access to his son – they didn’t believe the woman – she told loads more lies, but it could so easily have gone the other way. She had no concern whatsoever for the damage not only to my brother, but more importantly to the children (her daughter by a Filipino who dumped her as soon as she became pregnant) and my brother’s son).

    I know I should rise above it – take the moral high ground and wait until my brother’s son is old enough to make his own mind up who he sees, but I do have occasional dreams of driving a bus backwards and forwards over those treble chins (but it would probably break the suspension on the bus!!) oh well……

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover

      They love to use children for money. Like my common-law partners parents. As soon as they found out she was pregnant, all they wanted was our child, “send him here, we will take care of him. He is better off here”. What they really wanted was for her to work non-stop and send lots of money for the child’s “needs” but really their plan was so obvious that it was all about them and using that child money towards them. These people are dumb as fuck and it’s pretty obvious to figure them out because they are not discrete about their motives in the least. One thing they are very good at if you can’t pick up on it is “face”, putting on an act like they are sweethearts and roping you in. When they do that to a vulnerable man the man (like your brother) can easily bypass all common sense and make that step into their hell hole. Just you wait, that wife of his will suffer for her actions because I believe the universe works in mysterious ways and karma does exist. You get back that energy that you put out and she will get back some pretty bad times. Please read my article on the murdering Aunt and you might feel better about your situation.

      1. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
        PWYFYB Post author

        Thanks very much PL – will read your article about the murdering aunt!
        My brother’s Filipino family was/and is so obvious in their greed, but they don’t care. ‘ Give me land rover (/house/anything else expensive I can flog the minute it’s in my greedy/grasping hands) to set up business’ – ‘You hates me if you don’t give me’ . Second/third cousins on the wife’s great-grandmother’s side crawl out of the woodwork with their grasping hands stuck out as if it’s their right to fleece you.
        Btw – Can anyone here tell me if there are words such as ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in the Filipino language?? My ex- SIL and her family never used them. The only time I’ve seen ‘Salamat’ is on Facebook when they’re posing to the left/right/sultry smile for the camera/hand on hip – for the umpteenth millionth time – and the preening poser repeats ‘salamat sa likes’ to all the 1,061 imaginary friends/hangers on who say ‘beautiful’ or other such tosh – everything false and superficial.

    2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      If you are weak willed, the Filipina woman is not for you. They will walk all over you, manipulate you, scam you, cheat on you and she will do to you every other evil that existed on this planet, all for the sake of money and statues. OK….not all, but 99% are!!

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover

        You got that right, Sarah. Money and needless material possessions comes first above everything else. If they don’t get that, they will fuck themselves and everyone else around them, sinking you down into their abyss of Pinoy bullshit.

      2. Profile gravatar of PWYFYB
        PWYFYB Post author

        They also have a radar for seeking out the most vulnerable men – then they put on a loving, gentle caring facade to hook the man in. Once ensnared, the poisonous viper strikes, and the loving facade is no more (there’s no need for it). By this time, the viper has ostracised the man’s family and friends, so he has no-one to turn to. There’s also a feeling of shame that he’s been hoodwinked good and proper. The viper drops occasional crumbs of niceness (psychological manipulation), so the man holds on to the slim chance that life will get better – if doesn’t.