Name That Tune

Before you all say anything I have to tell you that Al is partly to blame for this post. Yes I mean you Al, don’t try to play innocent and look the other way. I have been listening to music on Youtube from the golden years when you had to have talent to make it, unlike today. So how is that Al’s fault? Well he mentioned a song in a reply and I started thinking of songs that fit the philippines. So here is what I came up and why:

  1. Please Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes, because we really hope that they will actually do something. Like deliver the mail for once.
  2. These Boots Were Made For Walking by Nancy Sinatra. I feel that is fitting due to the way filipinos not only walk all over foreigners but each other as well.
  3. Run Through The Jungle by CCR. Well that’s what it’s like trying to cross the street. walk down a hallway, stand in any kind of line in the philippines.
  4. We Gotta Get Out Of This Place by The Animals,,,,, NUF SAID.
  5. Have You Ever Seen The Rain by CCR.  Current weather condition for the last two weeks. Perhaps if CCr had seen the philippines it would have been titled “Have You Ever Seen The Floods.”
  6. Mack The Knife by Bobby Darin,,, I must admit the filipinos prefer the ice pick more though.
  7. Bad Moon Rising by CCR,,, It gives you the eerie feeling when you lay down at night that your gonna deal with the same shit you did all day today when you wake up in the morning.
  8. Kokomo by the Beach Boys,,,, What filipinos think and believe their country is really like.
  9. I Wanna Love You by Akon. I’m talking about the version where he says I wanna fuck you as that seems to be what filipinos think about everyone. An no I don’t mean it as in sex but more BEND OVER!!
  10. Little Brown Jug by Glenn Miller… fitting for those Red Horse, Rum and tuba drinking sessions.

So there you have the start of the list. Let your imagination run wild.

Published in Humor


    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      The trikes were so bad in one sub division I refused to use them and walked out to get a taxi. They wouldn’t use cell phones. Being in the back it wasn’t worth waiting. Walking out took 10 minutes. The last part was a steep hill, but taxis were parked half way up it and you could wave them to the bottom. Jeepnys at the top, it did my heart good anyways. But pinoys would stand there under their umbrellas for 30 minutes or more so they didn’t have to walk. I have heard it’s not all their laziness, but it is also a status thing. Pinoy pride is so backwards.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        the trikes would not use cel phones??? they never heard of UBER????
        Maybe if they used cels,, they could charge a little more and get a list of good customers to rely on???? Sounds like my tambuay nephew who is a trike driver.

      2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        Bullshit AL,
        Ive seen them wave to a trike facing the wrong way on the other side of the fucking road, the trike driver does a 180 turn to pick them up dodging traffic from hell, so they don’t have to walk 60 feet.
        They plonk their asses down and the driver does another 180 turn dodging traffic from hell to take them where they want to go.
        I would want to walk across the road , at least I would be able to see the fuck that was going to hit me, you cant see shit inside that little steel coffin.
        Maybe its a status thing like Bigg says, wave to the trike boy to show how much better you are than him.
        I know I never see a jeepnee do a 180 to pick up a passenger.
        Maybe trikes are low man on the totem pole .in Subic.

    2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      “These Boots Were Made For Walking” – Sung that song to the wife a couple of days ago, sang it to the ex too, I try to remember that when they beg to stay after they fuck up.

      Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back) – Eamon

      Lyin’ Eyes – Eagels

      In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand….)

      I Don’t Care Anymore – Phil Collins (I really don’t)

      Ship of Fools – Robert Plant

      The Grand Illusion – Styx

      House of the Rising Sun – Eric Burdon (it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy And God, I know I’m one)

      Brain Damage – Pink Floyd

      Land Of Confusion – Genesis

      Anus Of Uranus – Klaatu

      Mr. Roboto – Styx remix
      Domo arigato misuta (out of stock sir says) Robotto
      Mata au hi made
      Domo arigato misuta Robotto
      Himitsu wo shiritai

      You’re wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
      With parts rejected by Japan, I am the filipino man

      I’ve got a secret I’ve been hiding under my skin (we know)
      My heart isn’t human, my blood is boiling, I BLAME I.B.M.
      So if you see me acting strangely, don’t be surprised (no worry there)
      I’m just a man who needed some money, and someone to buy
      To keep me alive, just keep me alive
      Someone to buy to keep me alive

      I am a robot with fake emotions, I’m not what you see
      I’ve come to help you with your problems, so I can mooch for free
      I’m not your hero, I’m not your savior, forget what you know (Kano chores)
      I’m just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control (9 starving kids)
      Beyond my control, we all need control (of your ATM card)
      I need control, we all need control (and your pin)

      I am the filipno man, who hides behind a mask
      So no one else can see my true identity

      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto
      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto
      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto
      Dumb shit, Mr. Roboto

      (Kano Chores)
      Fuck you very much, Mr. Roboto
      For not doing the jobs you were paid to
      And fuck you very much, Mr. Roboto
      For helping me fix what I didn’t need to
      fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
      I want to fuck you, please, fuck you, oh yeah

      The problem’s plain to see, too much technology (damn cell phones)
      Western Unions to save our lives. Ambitions dehumanize.

      The time has come at last
      To throw away this mask
      Now everyone can see
      My true identity
      I’m Pinoy! Pinoy! Pinoy! Pinoy!

  1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    I have seen where they will not walk across a foot bridge becos of the stairs,, but cllimb into a stinking jeepney and go 10 extra blocks.
    Then the exercise bike is a frame for dust and cobwebs,, The bycycle is still in the box.
    You know in meriica,, we have the floavor or fad of the month,, here it is the fad of the second.
    Sarah come and give me lethal injection Canuck Al

  2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    Hello, to Mike
    Dont you flashed up ossies and red neck kanos blame the canucks for all of this country’s problems.. hahahah
    Run Through The Jungle by CCR. reminds me of the 4 month christmas in this country,, Just mention 1/2 price sale and they wait to splash their money or credit cards down.
    Here is me playing my theme song in Las Vegas,, I prefer to travel incognito in this country though.
    Sarah,, eat your heart out.. hahahah

  3. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    A whiter shade of pale – for the Pinay obsession to become white.

    I need a dollar by Aloe Blacc. Coz Pinoys are always asking for money.

    Brother, can you spare a dime – as above.

    Help! I need somebody, coz Pinoy and Pinays are always asking for help!

  4. Profile gravatar of Papasan

    “You’ll never walk alone”

    … either you have an instant spouse for a night or two
    ….or followed from some beggars “knocking” on you arm…

    …..or both….

  5. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    “House of the Rising Sun – Eric Burdon (it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy And God, I know I’m one)”

    So spot on BLX2! So spot on!

    Briliant post Mike, am enjoying readi g the song titles 🙂

  6. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Who Let The Dogs Out but I don’t know who sang it.
    Naked Women And Beer Hank Williams Jr. That’s what most pinoys think of most of the time.
    Your Cheatin Heart Hank Williams Sr,,,,, seems that describes a lot of filipinos.

  7. Profile gravatar of BLX2

    Going to skew the game to Story Behind The Song.

    Pope visits Manila
    Losing My Religion – R.E.M.

    Lucifer damned to Philippines
    Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones calls home and hears gimme money
    Where Is The Love – Black Eyed Peas

    Pinays and money
    Dust in the Wind – Kansas

    Satan refuses Filipinos
    Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton

    Sailor in Subic
    Lay Lady Lay – Bob Dylan

    Pinay to expat after buying house in her name
    I Love You, Goodbye – Celine Dion

    Flips and Kano on meaning of family values
    We Just Disagree – Dave Mason

    Flip entitlement
    Money For Nothing – Dire Straits

    Foreigner thinking of going to Philippines to meet love of his life reads Filipinofailblog
    Someone Saved My Life Tonight – Elton John

    Filipina’s and emergency
    Let Her Cry – Hootie & The Blowfish

    Pinays and lying
    Girl Can’t Help It – Journey

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      I loved that one Sailor in Subic. what about .
      My Filipino Girl, Itty Bitty Titty, I don’t know who wrote it, but it gets sung a lot in bars in Subic Bay.

      1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

        The first two times I lived in the Philippines I had the impression they were all carpenters dreams. Anything over a handful or mouthful kind of guy anyways, but shit, you could get a better grip on a pencil. My ex started stuffing her AAA bra in the USA, about 2 days before I left I told her that was false advertising, that I had bigger tits than her. She said it wasn’t true. I looked down at my chest, then at her and said, “It is true”. And it was. I also thought maybe the Catholic thing made them lousy lovers. Third times a charm I guess, I ran into a few, tits my size, wet, creamy honey and I mean sopped, hummers to heaven, and loved screwing. That shits important in a relationship, but so is a brain and my sanity.

          1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            Not that bad, lol, it’s that I really had nothing at all to compete with, I mean nothing. When dressed she looked hot and could dance like the girls on Wowwowwee. But without clothes it was like she was prepubescent, I’m not someone who would get turned on by that. Deadest fuck I ever met, frigid, even when she thought she loved me. I actually looked past it, looked at her “good” side. I almost deserve it for being so stupid.

  8. Profile gravatar of

    Pinay and Foreigner Gets Married
    “Stairway to Heaven” Led Zeppelin
    Expats That Regret Moving to the PI
    “Waiting for the End” Linkin Park
    Filipinos waiting for miracles (ie kano with lots of mani and meri der anak)
    “When the Day Comes” Nico And Vinz
    When your brain just malfunctions due to exposure of filipino dumbfuckery
    “Am I Wrong” Nico And Vinz
    When you realise that you managed to survive this country
    “True Survivor” David Hasselhoff or “Guerriero” Marco Mengoni

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      Arguing with asawa
      Head Games – Foreigner
      Numb – Linkin Park
      Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

      Why foreigners visit the Philippines
      My Neck, My Back (Lick It) – Khia
      Something In Your Mouth – Nickelback
      Tush – ZZ Top

      Trying to reason with asawa
      I Go Crazy – Paul Davis
      Breakdown – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

      Flip Logic
      Upside Down – 6cyclemind
      Bent – Matchbox 20

      Flip paying back loan
      Dream On – Aerosmith
      Against All Odds – Phil Collins

      Asked for money
      Wherever You Will Go – The Calling
      Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper

      Narcissist to mirror
      You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
      You Are So Beautiful – Joe Cocker

      Foreigner losses in Philippines
      Everything I own – Bread

      Why they fuck everything up, AGAIN
      Because of You – Kelly Clarkson

      1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

        Late Lament – Moody Blues

        Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
        Cell phones fade from every room.
        Lazy people with brains of cement,
        Another foriegners money is spent.
        Corrupt officials wrestle as one,
        Lonely man cries for love and has none.
        New mother sells the man her son,
        Senior narcassist wish they were young.
        Money loving pinay that rules the night,
        Removes all reason from our sight.
        ATM arrives on the next flight.
        But they decide which is right.
        And which is an illusion?

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      vinzz .
      That only applies if the partner is a foreigner, WE HAVE TO WORK not them.
      Get It right, they couldn’t give a fuck , or there would be dead men all over the Philippines.

  9. Profile gravatar of Thunderhead

    Legs – ZZtop.
    “She’s got legs and knows how to use them……”
    Self explanatory

    Every Breath You Take – Police
    Dedicated to the S/O who are so insanely jealous that a mere glance can engage a tampo session lasting weeks.

    Sweet Dreams – Eurythmics
    Dedicated to the OFW who made it out and escaped the clutches of relatives

    Would I Lie to You – Annie Lennox
    Dedicated to scammers.

    Love is a Stranger-Eurythmics
    Dedicated to the men who come to the Philippines and to the women who go away with them.

    Who’s that Girl? – Eurythmics
    Dedicated to the men who cheat on their GF – anywhere.

    Love the One You’re With-Stephen Stills
    Justification for cheating.

  10. Profile gravatar of Beavis

    “Hell Awaits” by Slayer
    “Filth Pig” by Ministry
    “Enjoy the Abuse” by Combichrist
    “Happiness in Slavery” by Nine Inch Nails

  11. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    What filipinos do to others
    Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” AC/DC

    When trying to understand filipino logic,
    Thunderstruck AC/DC

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author

        I have had “Come Softly To Me Darling” by the Fleetwoods stuck in head since I watched the Green Lantern.

  12. Profile gravatar of pulubi

    What piss me off is JOURNEY outsourced their lead singer to a failipino karaoke singer. LOL JOURNEY was my favorite band with steve perry.

  13. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

    Let’s not forget FiloFail’s nomination for the Philippine National Anthem, which describes these gooks to a “T”:

    “If I Only Had A Brain”

    No further comment necessary on that one 🙂

  14. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    Play with my Ding Dong, Blind Mellon Chitlins,aka Cheech and Chong
    Because that’s what they do play with themselves all day, and dream like Walter Mitty of how great they are.

  15. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    Another one bites the dust by Queen…..That’s wen Kanos come bringing everything they have from the west then ends up losing the lot to a Pinay scammer.

    Hotel California by The Eagles. – when Kanos want to leave the RP but can’t for various reasons.
    Welcome to the Hotel California
    Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
    Such a lovely face
    They livin’ it up at the Hotel California
    What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
    Last thing I remember, I was
    Running for the door
    I had to find the passage back
    To the place I was before
    “Relax, ” said the night man,
    “We are programmed to receive.
    You can check-out any time you like,
    But you can never leave! “

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      That one was going thru my head too.

      You can check-out any time you like,
      But you can never leave!

      It’s hard to leave, it really is, I have a couple expat friends I really like, trying not to be rash and give up on beating the odds, but I’ve done it twice. Most of the time I see the problem immediately and run. Then I get accused of being a playboy. But when they get close enough, I made excuses for their behavior that came on slowly. It is like the frog in a pan of water slowly heated up and doesn’t jump out, he just stays there and boils to death.

  16. Profile gravatar of


    I though I was the only person which is still awake in this country! Or maybe you just woke up…???

  17. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    You’re asking me Polish? Yes I just woke (before). I have insomnia and if I don’t take a sleeper, I get broken sleep Waking up every 2-3 hours. But I haven’t taken them since arriving here, After all , I’m on holidays.

    “It’s hard to leave, it really is, I have a couple expat friends I really like, trying not to be rash and give up on beating the odds”

    I know what you’re saying BLX2. I also have a friend who sold everything from the US to retire here despite my advise to keep his house for 2 years after arriving here. What happened? He hated it here within weeks of arriving. What happened again? He fucked the first gold digging Pinay who pursued him…..then she’s pregnant. Now he’s stuck here and has started calling the Pinoys niggers. He now abuses drugs to cope with his situation. Yeah, your analogy of a frog in a pan of heated water is so spot on.

  18. Profile gravatar of BLX2

    I can’t call nigger. I’ve used flip on this site more times than I have the total 9 years I’ve been coming here. I’m really not against them. Up all night so too tired to go deeper, I want to see the good in people, I know some are good and capable……. exhausted.

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        Thank you, but it’s the Zombies that are genius.(IMHO) I feel sorry for all the “want to be” singers that , my mom told me I can sing…. 🙂

  19. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    “Flirtin With Disaster” Molly Hatchet
    Anyone thinking about having anything to do with the philippines or filipinos.