I know you’ll find this shocking, and some may say I’m contradicting myself, and maybe I am, but…..
There are actually some Filipinos who will admit when they’re wrong when you have fought tooth and nail to present the proof and logic. Oh they fight like hell to resist, but some Filipinos, when cornered, will back down if you’re personally close enough to them. Then they will exhibit a brief…and I accent BRIEF moment of humility. It’s so brief that if you blink your eyes, you’ll miss it. It’s like a lightning flash in a very dark sky.
Inevitably, there is a word that follows. This word instantly and abruptly snatches back that nano-second of hope that this person might actually have a speck of humility, or dignity, or self respect in him. This word vaporizes that humble 1 or 2 seconds before you’ve even really had a chance to bask in glimmer of the extremely rare event of Filipino humility….
That word is “But…“
What follows “but…” is pretty much anything you or someone else might have done in the past, or recently. Pretty much anything he can quickly and randomly think of as justificaton and/or blame for their wrong. They then begin to act hurt, as a child on a playgroud who just got called a name. This is the plea for sympathy. “I was fucking stupid because you….” This instantly revives the delusion that he is actually right or justified, no matter how BLOODY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY wrong he is. His goal is self preservation which in some sick twisted way he seems to view as self respect. How I wish they could realize how ass-backwards that truly is in the world outside of Philippines!
This is why it is impossible for the average Filipino to improve himself.
You cannot learn and improve if you don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, right? You cannot seek to improve if you don’t blamelessly acknowledge your faults and own up to them. Because admitting your faults and in the same sentence following it with a blame or justification cancels everything out! Why bother to admit your fault to begin with???
The average Filipino must be allowed and justified in his stupid thinking or corrupt act as long as there’s someone else who gets to be stupid or corrupt. Oh he can condemn corruption with his mouth, curse and yell at others for their stupidity and ass-backwards thinking till the cows come home. But when it comes to his own faults, they are justified because of what you did or said.
I have my faults, and I admit them without the “but…”
It is a vicious and endless chain of blame and justification in the rare event you can actually convince them they were wrong for that split second before the “but” word. Filipinos are so good at wiping their sins clean with other sinners. And what you end up with is a nation of ass-backwards, blindly prideful, delusional, unreasonable, illogical assholes who are all justified in each of their own minds. And just take a walk down the street and you’ll see the evidence of this everywhere, and it’s everybody else’s fault, everyone is to blame, except yourself.
The “but…” word is the Filipino’s saving grace. It is his recourse from the horrible, distainful place of humility back to a prideful, haughty attitude where he feels most comfortable, and restores his sense of entitlement, blamelessness, and justification. Unfortunately, it makes remorse impossible, and without remorse, you will not learn or improve yourself. You will not mature, you will remain immature in your thinking. Self improvement, growth, and maturity becomes a complete impossibility, and I say that out of PLENTY of relational experience here.
In the non-delusional world, we know to error is human, to be wrong is human. What is so confusing is this nation of people who are so god damn dumb YET are probably the closest thing to perfect IN THEIR OWN DELUDED, ASS-BACKWARDS, SELF-PRESERVING MINDS!
Self preservation is far more important in the Filipino mind, even in spite of facts, logic, or reason, than human dignity, honesty, and improving oneself. The Filipino equates “self preservation at any cost” with “self respect”. There is no difference in their mind.
It is more possible for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than ANY PERSON OF ANY RACE OR NATIONALITY to improve himself by admitting he’s wrong with the “but…” justification and blame. When you proceed with the “but..” after admitting a fault, it takes that admittance away, just as if he never admitted in the first place. It is solely an act of self preservation, and nothing more. Because any real recognition of fault means they own it completely, and when you own it completely, without trying to justify it, or cast blame, it is then useful, and then remorse can happen and then progress can happen and learning can happen. And the best thing about that is, it can make you a much better person than the one you are blaming. By proceeding with the “but…” word, you are admitting your fault, then taking it back. Whatever proceeds “but..” is now the owner and reason for the fault, and now there is no need for improvement. “I was wrong but…now I’m not.” That is exactly what you’re saying when you proceed the “but..” with an admittance of fault. And since you failed to learn and improve and grow personally, the process will JUST REPEAT CONTINUALLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER. This again, I say out of years of personal relational experience.
In summary, Philippines and it’s people are in a perpetual cycle of justifying why it is the way it is through blame and self preservation. “I’m innocent of any wrong doing because of what you did, and regardless of how much I realize I’m wrong. I have a right to be stupid and delusional because you piss me off, and my pride and self preservation is my #1 priority over any other human being who has given his life for the sake of us and my family.”
This is why I have such a sense of loneliness at times in this nation of fucking idiots. Have you ever seen the movie “Idiocracy”? You should. You’ll see how I feel. Although they’re idiots, I pity them, and feel I need to keep my commitment regardless of their idiocy. At times, I really just want to get the fuck out of here, abandon my commitment. But there are now too many people who depend on the commitment I made here, so I will not be like them. This is what personal responsibility is all about. This is what makes one human. This is what self improvement in spite of others is all about.
Acceptance that they are helpless pitiful idiots just isn’t enough. The ones closest to me need me, and therefore I stay and continue in my commitment and promises I made in spite of how easily I could justify packing up and leaving forever. But I own my faults, and I keep my commitments. Because I know how to admit my wrongs without the “but…” blaming tactic. I have THE PRIDE AND DIGNITY TO BE HUMAN without self preservation tactics that WOULD JUST MAKE ME LOOK EVEN MORE STUPID AND DELUSIONAL THAN BEFORE THE “BUT…” WORD!
Let me conclude with the main reason I write this blog. People with overwhelming feelings of frustration, confusion, and even anger need an outlet. I was here for 4 years before starting this blog. I honestly feel at times I will go nuts out of sheer frustration over the mindsets, ass-backward attitudes, ignorance, stupidity, irresponsibility, non-accountability, dishonesty, lies, deceptions, self-preservation at any cost, absence of reason, absence of logic, absence of self respect and dignity, and emotional selfishness even from the ones I am closest to here. Sometimes I wonder if they are even human at all, and which planet did they arrive from here. I need to vent. And I want people to hear me and relate to me, because I can’t find anyone here with enough dignity, self respect, personal responsibility, honesty, or humility to have even one single conversation or discussion that is meaningful and productive. It always turns into a self preserving, take offense at expressing my concerns, and how dare I assume there might be something you overlooked pile of shit conversation. I end up feeling like I have infringed on their right to be a selfish, self-preserving, illogical angry dumbfuck who refuses to accept anything outside of his own tiny little shut down mind. To accept the possibility you have overlooked something would be way too degrading, so don’t fucking listen, and get all pissy and negate his concerns. Keep the pride up, never consider other ideas, because to do so might make you look stupid (too late! You got my nomination for “stupid-fuck-of-the-year” when you started interrupting me and refusing to hear and validate my concerns which were meant for OUR good in the first place!).
Can you tell I’m fed up? Don’t worry, this too shall pass. But at least it makes for good blog articles!