Original 10 Philippine Property Laws by snakebitbytheflip
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours (no, wait–all the pieces are mine)!
Pinoy roommates. The last time i stayed in the failipines 3 years ago i tried renting a room and sharing living space with flips for 3 months. Huge mistake.
They will use your shampoo, the distinct aroma of my shampoo when a flip would leave the shower room and the door wide open for everyone to feel the steam flow into the living room, bar of soap (i found thick stubbles allover my bar of soap once, which leads me to believe they used my razor to shave their pubic hair because im the only one in the house that has facial hair.) Threw out all my toiletries and bought new ones and a basket so i can store it convienently in my room. The following day the flip i suspected asked me where my toiletries were.
Appliances, Stove/TV/Refrigerator/pressure cooker
Stove, i would be the only one that would use the stove, so the agreement between the landlord and i is that i alone order the propane tank. When i get it set up, the 4 other flips living in the house start using it for their own needs when im away. The morons leave their own rice pot on the stove still warm too, claim they didn’t use the stove, because my room is adjacent to the kitchen no one dared to retrieve it overnight.
As a precaution they took the TV out of the living room and placed it in one of their rooms, I didn’t care because i’m interested in bad flip broadcasting. The end of the first month they actually tried to charge me a portion of the cable bill.
Before i came the other flips used the refrigerator for storing used soda bottles to act as water bottles for. When i stored groceries such as yakult, ice cream bars and even vodka… Yeah they stole some too. I am an accountant im very picky when it comes to self budgeting so i notice shens like this really fast. i passively document the stuff i buy and consume to always find myself in the negatives. They also made no attempt to conceal the fact when i find wrappings in the kitchen trash bin. When i caught them drinking my vodka and rum one of them tried drinking it straight out of the bottle then they started coughing profusely in the kitchen, i rushed out of my room out of suspicion and BAM. The flip had to audacity to say “i was just moving some stuff around” when the cap to my 80 proof vodka was on the ground still spinning from the fall, a puddle of vodka on the table and floor and the bottle itself sideways on the table, i stood there grinning and said “youre a moron, you thought you could be sneaky, but clearly you cant handle this tier of liquor, clean this shit up and buy me a new bottle,” he never bought a new bottle(until later) I finally blew my top when i came back home after a very long day to find my box of selecta premium ice cream bars empty, i never got to eat a single bar. On a side note they never touched the vegetables i kept in the fridge…
I love pressure cooking, especially how fast you can cook meals. Most if not all pinoys don’t understand how to use a pressure cooker. One of the flips tried to be sneaky and use my pressure cooker while i was away working. They burned the adobo they were making. This was a 7 liter pressure cooker, so they fucked up 6 liters worth of adobo and ruined my pressure cooker in the process because she didn’t properly seal and lock the lid. The house smelled like burning food for a week. The bitch was the GF of one of the flip tenants so she wasn’t even suppose to be in the house let alone using someone else’s cookware. She tried to get me to pay for the ruined food when i confronted her boyfriend about ruining my 5,000php pressure cooker. Did i mention that i’m paying for 100% of the propane?
In the end it was good, because the landlord who was a retired pinoy that is a naturalized American citizen, sided with me and managed to get double the value of what i lost through civil disputes court on my behalf.
Never again will i share living space with pinoys.
Seriously though having pinoys as roommates is like having a bunch of kids. Well my nieces and nephews are far more well mannered between the ages 4-12 they politely ask if they can have an ice cream bar, fuck they even ask if they can use the fucking restroom or watch tv.Published in