Philippines Administrative Nightmare

Disorganized PhilippinesAnother one I did not write, but came in as an unnamed user submitted post. ~FiloFail

It is no wonder they are losing the battle about management and organisation. Recently had to go to Bureau Of Immigration (Intramuros) to have my card checked. Well everything went fine, the ladies at the counter smiled and were helpful.

Then the lady noticed some twit immigration officer at the airport (NAIA) had written in the wrong detail over the top of the stamp.

So I was sent upstairs. After about a 45 minute wait out comes Mr totally inept and totally stupid and says to me “you have to fix it”. But but but, it is your mistake, not mine. Sorry, too bad or something like that. Ok so now the fun begins. About 5 hours later it was fixed.

The turkey at immigration says: Go and get and pay for photocopies in duplicate of about five pages of my passport; and go to another window downstairs and get a printout of my entrances and exits; then fill in the application form, there are two of them; then go to another window and hop on one foot for a while; then take documents to window C and then come upstairs to get passport back when its processed.

They use a printer made in about 1990 – so slow – and the computers and printers are not linked, so upstairs downstairs change rooms wait etc etc….

Filled out two application forms.

Filed the forms, and then they get it back from the person who reads and staples and prints or something equally important. Guess what! The stapler man forgot to pass it to the man at the window, or woman whatever. So sit and wait for more than 1.5 hours and the docs are apparently sitting, done and dusted, just waiting on the table behind, not alongside. Spoke to a poor young Aussie waiting with me, he was seriously pissed, same thing, an Immigration mistake using the wrong stamp and he has to do the running.

Well, later I was getting pissed, and spoke to an information officer, he says. “just leave, what are they going to do, stop you leaving, not at all, its better exit fees because you have a card”. Should have taken his advice but it was too late by then.

No wonder nothing works, overstaffed, antiquated equipment, not linked, too many bits of paper.

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Gern Blanson
    Gern Blanson

    Oh god don’t get me started about the immigration agency here. I am not sure they know what a quad core computer is and they would be better off using a hammer and chisel to do the paperwork like the Flintstones do, OMG!! How many Immigration employees are needed to process your visa? don’t know I can’t count that high! I have witnessed 8-10 people doing what 1 person can do in the United States. It blows my mind!!

    1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      Hammer and chisel is sure right ! I once saw a water well being put in by using a old engine block lifted (by about 7 guys) on a tripod and dropped (over and over) on the well pipe to drive it into the ground.
      Ya, sure it worked. But WTF???
      Just grab a cold beer and watch the comedy show.

  2. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    How about getting a driver’s license? First row are writing with pens on paper. Second row of desks have ancient typewriters. Third row has computers but nothing is linked and only one has an ancient printer. Or the Bogo court house that has to send all papers to town to be photocopied as they don’t have one!If you want a copy that you are entitled to by law, you pay for the copying and the trike to do the courier work!

    OK, what about painting the side of a five storey building using a roller tied to the end of a 30 foot long bamboo pole! Frickin hilarious watching two Dongs trying to work this thing. Or, chipping away 4 inches of concrete floor of a penthouse with a hammer and a six inch nail driven through a strip of garden hose. Automation meant getting four more Dongs to help! Took them two weeks! If they had hired a pneumatic chisel it would have been done in a day by one Dong but then the materials wouldn’t have arrived as that took several days walking up the stairs (11 floors) because they wouldn’t let workmen use one of the two elevators in case anyone was offended by common workers. One had a heart attack on the 7tj floor landing outside my office and I and other expats were the only people who cared to give him aid and help him to the hospital.

    Or, the Dong that hosed down the aircon unit outside a shop while it was running because the office manager didn’t want it shut down as it was too hot. He was electrocuted and died. I could go on but…

  3. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    How about painting the center lines of a highway by hand. I see them with a wood frame, paint brush and a can of paint. Then they walk for miles repainting the center lines. Dear Lord. No wonder nothing ever gets finished over here.

  4. Profile gravatar of Davo

    Oh, not everything is totally crazy in Phils.
    I arrived needed a licence. have a Heavy Vehicle Licence back home (everything but not articulated) and went to Olangapo, worked fine, two visits same day about 30 minutes each time, lady was chuffed about my licemvce wanted to talk about that TV show about truckers in extreme places, worked fine, Silly part was had to bring three copies of my licence, my card, my passport just in case (advice from a local expat who took me there). Second silly part was the camera was set so low, I was lying in the chair bye the time pic was taken, looks like something from Alien 2. haha.

    I rather like Filiponos, there administrative crap is just crazy. But still I like.

  5. Profile gravatar of Davo

    I was in Subic driving (practicing driving on the wrong side of the road) an F250 or some such giant and the young fella with me sees some turkey at a 4 way and says, haha, manila driver, they wont leave without a fine.

  6. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
    Pearl Of My Ass

    I love the Bureau Of Immigration at Intramuros, mayhem, chaos BUT forbidden in short sir !! You need trousers !! yes yes yes … cause here it is serious right ! ….my God, it was my second week in the Philippines and I had to rent some filthy trousers for 50 pesos to some chap who made a juicy business of renting filthy trousers to idiot(s) like me who arrived in Bermuda to the Bureau Of Immigration at Intramuros.
    What a joke

    1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      they have a cooperative at the imigration,,,,, it is a copying machine in the corner,,so instead of giving you 2 copies so u are ready for the next line up when they print the endless paperwork off their pc,,,, u go to line up wait wait,,, den its your turn,,, ”sorry sir” u have to get photocopied,,, if i hear sorry sir,, one more time, i am going to go postal!!!!!!!!
      when you arrive airport,, u can get a 30 to 59 days extension visa upon arrivall,,,1/2 hour and less money and aircon too,, but they do not tell you this,, cos the main office wants the graft and corruption.

    2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      just half a block away from the main immigration office in manila, there is a horde of bare assed kids running around,
      They must live in that ramshackle building where they are seen running around at.
      My dogs in North America get treated better than these street kids.
      I often wonder if the trapos in this country have eyes to see out of their tinted glass windows of their limos driven by some tambay from the province??

  7. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Administrative nightmare? Ha! Have you looked at the cable lines that are all gaggle-fucked up together with a mixture of power lines and loose unknown wires? I was a cable installer for Time Warner Cable before coming here to Philippines, and I get Goosebumps every time I glance up at the cable lines that are jumbled all together. It would take me forever to unfuck everything they had fucked up when they initially created the cable line set up. I know people teenagers who are more organized than this! I’m against suffering and death too, but this country is in dire need of an apocalypse, or an extreme natural disaster that will completely annihilate everything, so someone smart can restart everything from scratch for them. Everything here is a mess, and the quickest way for them to replace everything, is to destroy everything…… not referring to their lives, just everything that was built and constructed by an idiot Filipino, which is pretty much everything in this country.