Philippines Election – How To NOT Get My Vote

Well, it’s Philippines election and campaign season again, and you know what that means? Time for the Filipino candidates to show just how fucking stupid, ignorant, and discourteous they can be. If you don’t want MY vote, just keep doing the same stupid, ignorant, discourteous shit you normally do to try to get votes.

Philippines Election CampaignTime to wallpaper the city with their cheesy, dishonest faces.

Time to ignore the campaigning rules and election laws and start unnecessary construction projects such as fixing roads that don’t need fixing while ignoring roads that desperately need fixing, because that’s how they generate campaign funds. They hire their crooked contractor buddies to overprice the project on paper so the incumbent candidate can fund his campaign. I mean, in Philippines election season, I would think you would want to at least take a little drive around and at least see what needs fixing and get your buddy to overprice it. At least it would fix something. But nope, they just tear up a road that was completely fine, often just re-surfaced a year or two ago, and re-surface it again and ignore the horribly bad spots that impede traffic because you have to crawl over it so slow to avoid fucking up your car’s suspension or tires. You almost need an all-terrain vehicle to drive over some problem spots which are often right next to the road they are fixing that didn’t need fixing. Man, the level of stupidity and sheer ignorance is mind-boggling!

But fixing things has never been any of their concern. We all know that. That’s why nothing gets fixed. That’s why progress doesn’t happen here. It just goes back to a previous article I wrote here where I talk about their goal: getting the title, but not actually performing the duties that go along with holding the title. It’s all about personal gain, and not about serving the community that elected them to do so.

It’s also time to kill anyone who stands inmaguindanao massacre your way of forcing an election to go your way.

So anyway, it’s about 5:40am, and I’m sitting outside watching the sunrise, as I do most mornings. The sun isn’t even fully risen yet, and already there is the idiotic mobile billboard vehicle plastered with some candidate’s ugly grinning mugshot, driving around with the giant bullhorns blaring out another idiotic jingle promoting the candidate. They are set at full volume, waking the neighborhood up before the sun is above the roof tops.

What is so funny about this is they don’t even realize their own ignorance and stupidity.

stupid Philippines election vehicleFirst of all, the bullhorns are relics from the 1950’s, and you can’t even understand a single fucking word that comes blaring out of them at ridiculously high decibel levels, completely distorted to the point it just sounds like about the most annoying noise anyone could imagine. It sounds more like some sound effects track for a battle scene from WWII. It’s completely garbled, completely distorted, unrecognizable noise, kind of just like like the sound of thought processes of the average Filipino brain. In fact, I’ve often wondered if they just have wires hooked up to the driver’s brain and the bullhorns are amplifying the jumbled and random non-thoughts and blank noise that goes on in the Filipino mind.

So what makes the Filipino candidate think that he’ll get votes if he sends out the a bullhorn-equipped vehicle at the crack of dawn driving around residential areas waking people up with garbled noise at max volume, some of whom probably work all night and sleep during the early morning hours? Maybe it’s so loud because they know they need to be louder than the static noise that fills the minds of their potential constituents? I don’t really know.

But one thing is for sure, it’s certainly NOT the way to get MY vote! If you can’t even show a little respect and common courtesy for allowing people to enjoy a quiet sunrise and peaceful morning, then why should I believe you will respect and show common concern for the more important things for which you are asking to be elected to handle????

Whether you show your corrupt cheesy grinning mug once on a wall, or wallpaper the entire wall with 1000 of your campaign posters, I have to say that your ugly mug tiled across 100 meters of wall space, or spanning across a road on streamers, and your vehicle driving by my housestupid filipino campaign blaring distorted, indistinguishable noise loud enough to make my windows rattle, will NOT make me vote for you. Why? Because I think. Very simple. I check up on you. I look at your record, your achievements, your platform, your history. I check you out and then decide if you’re worth my vote.

So far, in the 6 years I have been here, I still have not found anyone worth my vote. Which explains why I have not voted. Besides, what fucking good would it do anyway? Elections are just there to give the appearance of a democratic process, just like laws are written only to give the illusion of order and justice. Just like lane lines are painted on roads to give the illusion of order, yet are completely ignored. What good are laws when your tiny unconcerned police force won’t enforce them, and just sit in the police station unless called.

This just goes to prove that Philippines is just like a few billion children pretending to play society. They just try to mimic what they see other societies do, and add their own childish, non-thinking desperate pleas for votes, they try to make themselves look good outwardly (and still fail miserably at giving much of a convincing illusion to the world) but know absolutely nothing about what it’s there for, or how to make it work.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Common Discourtesy, Corruption, Elections, Filipino Stupidity, Political Idiots


      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB Post author

        My thoughts exactly. Some countries destroyed in WWII rebuilt completely then destroyed again in a later war and are rebuilt yet again. What the fuck is Philippine’s excuse??? LOL!!

  1. Profile gravatar of NeoGeo

    As an American expat temporarily living here, I’ll admit that I thought it was sort of quaint to have such a carnival atmosphere in election season. That was until they parked the carnival truck, and its sound system, in the barangay plaza. My house overlooks the barangay plaza. I would not have peace and quiet for a few hours.

    The political presentation was preceded by about an hour’s worth of Filipino pop music. First of all, what does this have to do with the election? If I wanted to listen to pop music, I would have turned on my radio. Secondly, who do they hope to attract with this? I seriously doubt that people heard the truck’s sound system and thought: “Oh, shit! Free music. Let’s go listen.” The younger generation will listen to music on their cell phones and mp3 players. Older people don’t listen to the type of music the truck was blasting out. Their only audience was me, and only because I happened to live there.

    When the politicians finally showed up, it was already dark. They then proceeded to have a bizarre interview session where the candidate was interviewed by his cronies. The gist of it went like this:

    Crony: So, let’s bring out your candidate, Mr. Awesome.
    Candidate: Thank you.
    Crony: Please tell us what makes you awesome, Mr. Awesome.
    Candidate: I am awesome because I am awesome. Vote for me, for I am awesome.
    Crony: Awesome.

    They then topped it off with a karaoke fail version of Jessie J’s “Price Tag”. Considering the Philippines’ reputation for corruption, this ended up being quite entertaining to hear. Imagine North Korean despot, Kim Jong Un, singing “Give Peace a Chance”. It was on that level.

    Then they thankfully packed up for the night and rolled away their little carnival. More fun in the Philippines… indeed.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      Oh man, that was hilarious, especially the Mr. Awesome/Crony conversation. It’s so true. They sound like a bunch of 8 year olds. It’s truely hilarious.

  2. Profile gravatar of

    I am also an American ex-pat living in Metro Manila for the past 4 years with my wife and children. This is my first experience with the circus that is election-time here in the Philippines. 99% of the time I consider my wife a progressive Filipino (if such a person can exist here) with modern and forward thinking ideals. HOWEVER…i can’t wait for this farce disguised as a democratic election to be over with so she and her brain can come back to me intact. I dont know what happened but she and her family have been replaced with mind-numbing morons as they watch the news day in and day out following the candidates. I am amazed that she can’t see what is happening for what it is like she does everything else. What is clearer to me now then ever before is that the top 1% of this country – who you see on TV running for office – believes whole heartedly that the citizens of the Philippines are completely stupid and must be treated like children. How else can you explain a campaign for Senator by a candidate with NO platform or political experience to speak of LEADING in popularity polls. The commercials for these candidates are comical at best and not based on any real issues at all. What an incredible sham. I asked my wife (and her various friends and relatives) who they are voting for and one actually said CandidateA because he is “handsome”. I give my wife credit for acknowledging the stupidity behind the answer of her friend..but REALLY??!! After watching the “debates” on TV…I thought I had seen it all. Not ONE question of substance was posed to the candidates in attendance and not ONE answer of substance was returned – to thundering applause no less. Where are the REAL questions that should be asked? Education reform tops my list. No one talks about that – am I missing something? The key to getting the Philippines out of the gutter is to offer quality education and real opportunities for employment in THIS country. What is the purpose for all of this foreign investment if Filipinos can’t pass the basic requirements needed to work here?

    Watching this campaign is unbelievably frustrating as I have not seen ONE candidate say anything of substance yet.

    I must say…this blog is unbelievably therapeutic. Just reading the articles decreases my blood pressure back to sane levels. Thanks…

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      “who you see on TV running for office – believes whole heartedly that the citizens of the Philippines are completely stupid and must be treated like children. ”

      They believe correctly. I am right there with them on that point. They believe that because the citizens of the Philippines ARE completely stupid and must be treated like children. There’s just no other way to put it.

  3. Profile gravatar of

    For starters, they let an Idiot (seriously, that dicktard has issues with his fucking brain) win the election.