Philippines: LAND OF ILLUSION (Part 1)

I wanted to share with you the exraordinary amount of illusion which makes up Philippines and it’s culture.

SM Mall Security: 

Ok, so you’re approaching the entrance to any SM mall in Philippines. Of course, they are heavily guarded, even more than airports. Lately, they’ve even got the expensive metal detectors. They are of course manned by very well dressed uniformed guards with empty gun holsters and empty handcuff sheathes.

If you have a backpack, purse, or bag, well of course you have to yield it for inspection, by which they have a stick, and regardless of how many different pockets or compartments it may have which could easily be concealing a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum, or maybe enough plastic explosives to take out a small section of the north wing, they feel safe enough with just popping open the main part of the bag or backpack long enough to put their stick in, pull it out and wave you through.

Well of course, what few filipinos even realize this to begin with, would know how easy it would be in the malls without the walk through metal detectors, to holster a small pistol to their ankle, covered by their pant leg. No worries, because the hand-held metal detectors are only quickly hovered over your mid-section, either in back or front, but seldom ever both. So if you were stupid enough to pack your heat under your waistband, well you have a 50/50 chance of getting through undetected anyway.

Then comes the pseudo-pat down or “frisk”. It’s a quick, glide of their hand either front or back of your waistline, barely even touching, then a wave through. I guess they don’t think people are any smarter than they are to know that all you need to do to get something into SM which security wouldn’t allow, is to simply attach it to your ankle and wear long pants. Fuckin’ idiots.

What an inconvenience it is. The only purpose it serves is to cause clogging up at the door when there are a lot of people trying to get in. Does it accomplish more security? Well, other dumb fucking filipinos may fall for the illusion, but not me.

I say if you’re going to frisk me, THEN FUCKING FRISK ME, otherwise, get the fuck out of the way and let your customer in! The door security is 100% USELESS, AND A MAJOR INCONVENIENCE for the customers.

This is one of my pet peeves that really gets under my skin everytime I go to SM. I have even gone so far as to tell a guard after he whisps his hand across my belt, “Hey genius, you know you just let me in with a .38 pistol? It’s strapped to my ankle dumbass!”

THE FILOGIC: They are paying the security guards, so give them something to do to earn their money, regardless of the fact it is completely useless and ineffective.  Customer convenience is non-existent in Philippines. It doesn’t matter how much of a clog-up the faux security at the doors of SM causes, the security guards need something to earn their money, even if makes no sense whatsoever.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Unggoy

    I have actually taken a 9mm compact into SM and Ayala,its not a problem really.I dont want the dumb ass security gaurds to be the only ones with guns inside there,in the phils,look after yourself,no-one else will