I have been getting out a lot more these days, and certainly I completely expect all the typical Filipino dumbfuckery everywhere I go. But I couldn’t help but notice when I was eating at Shakey’s, they have begun to actually put condiments on the table. Good thing? Well, you know there’s a catch. I notice the pepper flakes and parmesan cheese shakers. They never had those before. But they were both nearly empty. Each had less than 1/4 inch laying in the bottom of the 4 inch tall shaker.
“Oh well it’s Saturday, and they’ve probably been busy. But it was early….just a little past 11am. Of course I knew the typical Pinoy mindset. They never fill them more than that anyway, so people won’t use so much. To verify, I got up and walked through the restaurant and looked at all the shakers on all the tables.
ALL OF THEM WERE THAT WAY!
There was just enough pepper flakes and parmesan cheese to barely cover the bottom of the shakers on EVERY SINGLE TABLE.
Yes, we are children and the management is our parent, doling out the condiments in tiny little rations. Which says very loudly, “OH IT’S EXPENSIVE SO YOU CAN’T ENJOY YOUR MEAL TOO MUCH BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU TO USE MUCH PARMESAN CHEESE OR PEPPER FLAKES!!”
Hey, if you can’t afford condiments, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO RUN IT!!
Of course the standard operating procedure for napkins is 1 tiny napkin per customer. No napkin dispensers on the table. If you want more, you have to ask “mom or dad” for some more.
Well you and I know exactly why that is. It’s because FILIPINOS HAVE THE MENTALITY OF SMALL CHILDREN. And therefore it’s cultural to treat each other like children. Put a full napkin dispenser on the table, and there’s a very good chance they’ll all be gone in one sitting. These fucktards have no self-discipline whatsoever. “Oh look! I’ll just take all the napkins home so we can use them at home! And while I’m at it, I’ll dump all the parmasan cheese and pepper flakes into a folded up napkin and take it home too!”
Yep, that’s why they don’t fill them up. That is why you don’t get enough cheese to put on one slice of pizza. So what the fuck is the point of even putting them on the table? We’re just going to ask for more, then the management will cringe and worry and be all bent out of shape because they have to bring more of that expensive parmasan cheese to the table.
A couple years ago I was at Shakey’s with an American friend who was visiting. We asked for some parmasan and they bring this tiny little condiment dish which the bottom was barely dusted with Parmesan. There were 6 of us at the fucking table. I looked at the stupid fucking cunt sideways and said, “There’s six of us here, we all want Parmesan cheese. We want it for our spaghetti AND our pizza. What you brought me would barely satisfy one bite of pizza. Can you just bring a shaker full of cheese?”
“Sorry sir, I will have to consult my supervisor”.
“Well tell you what, why don’t you just send your supervisor to the table, I’ll talk to him.”
She scurries off and I swear to fucking god, there were two managers having a fucking Parmesan Cheese conference over by the counter, giving looks over at our table. I’m thinking, “WHAT THE FUCK???”
So they come bringing 6 tiny condiment dishes barely dusted with Parmesan. I grabbed all six, and looked at them and said, “All six of these might satisfy 2 slices of Pizza. Should I just go to the grocery and buy my own shaker of cheese? You look like you’re going to go broke if you bring us a full shaker of Cheese which would cost what, 60 pesos?
And that’s what I do now when I’m eating Pizza out. I stop at the grocery and buy a container of Kraft Parmesan Cheese. It makes the dining experience so much better than having to fight for some FUCKING CONDIMENTS.
Gawd, what complete fucking idiots.Published in