Pinoy Condiment Incompetence

I have been getting out a lot more these days, and certainly I completely expect all the typical Filipino dumbfuckery everywhere I go. But I couldn’t help but notice when I was eating at Shakey’s, they have begun to actually put condiments on the table. Good thing? Well, you know there’s a catch. I notice the pepper flakes and parmesan cheese shakers. They never had those before. But they were both nearly empty. Each had less than 1/4 inch laying in the bottom of the 4 inch tall shaker.

“Oh well it’s Saturday, and they’ve probably been busy. But it was early….just a little past 11am. Of course I knew the typical Pinoy mindset. They never fill them more than that anyway, so people won’t use so much. To verify, I got up and walked through the restaurant and looked at all the shakers on all the tables.

condiments - Copy


There was just enough pepper flakes and parmesan cheese to barely cover the bottom of the shakers on EVERY SINGLE TABLE.

Yes, we are children and the management is our parent, doling out the condiments in tiny little rations. Which says very loudly, “OH IT’S EXPENSIVE SO YOU CAN’T ENJOY YOUR MEAL TOO MUCH BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU TO USE MUCH PARMESAN CHEESE OR PEPPER FLAKES!!”


Of course the standard operating procedure for napkins is 1 tiny napkin per customer. No napkin dispensers on the table. If you want more, you have to ask “mom or dad” for some more.

Well you and I know exactly why that is. It’s because FILIPINOS HAVE THE MENTALITY OF SMALL CHILDREN. And therefore it’s cultural to treat each other like children. Put a full napkin dispenser on the table, and there’s a very good chance they’ll all be gone in one sitting. These fucktards have no self-discipline whatsoever. “Oh look! I’ll just take all the napkins home so we can use them at home! And while I’m at it, I’ll dump all the parmasan cheese and pepper flakes into a folded up napkin and take it home too!”

Yep, that’s why they don’t fill them up. That is why you don’t get enough cheese to put on one slice of pizza. So what the fuck is the point of even putting them on the table? We’re just going to ask for more, then the management will cringe and worry and be all bent out of shape because they have to bring more of that expensive parmasan cheese to the table.

A couple years ago I was at Shakey’s with an American friend who was visiting. We asked for some parmasan and they bring this tiny little condiment dish which the bottom was barely dusted with Parmesan. There were 6 of us at the fucking table. I looked at the stupid fucking cunt sideways and said, “There’s six of us here, we all want Parmesan cheese. We want it for our spaghetti AND our pizza. What you brought me would barely satisfy one bite of pizza. Can you just bring a shaker full of cheese?”

“Sorry sir, I will have to consult my supervisor”.

“Well tell you what, why don’t you just send your supervisor to the table, I’ll talk to him.”

She scurries off and I swear to fucking god, there were two managers having a fucking Parmesan Cheese conference over by the counter, giving looks over at our table. I’m thinking, “WHAT THE FUCK???”

So they come bringing 6 tiny condiment dishes barely dusted with Parmesan. I grabbed all six, and looked at them and said, “All six of these might satisfy 2 slices of Pizza. Should I just go to the grocery and buy my own shaker of cheese? You look like you’re going to go broke if you bring us a full shaker of Cheese which would cost what, 60 pesos?

And that’s what I do now when I’m eating Pizza out. I stop at the grocery and buy a container of Kraft Parmesan Cheese. It makes the dining experience so much better than having to fight for some FUCKING CONDIMENTS. 

Gawd, what complete fucking idiots.

Published in Dining, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity, Low Standards


  1. Profile gravatar of Idiotocracy

    You nailed it, the flips will steal it if it isn’t nailed down.

    Ever notice that some McDonald’s receipts will have line items with a price for ketchup packets? That is something I’ve never seen anywhere else.

    I travel a lot here in the U.S. too and I’ve noticed that condiments in fast food places in the black and Hispanic sections of towns are also extremely limited or behind the counter.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

      Im Surprised the condiments are in place at all!
      That they are not stolen would maybe indicate that Pinoy has a rudimentary sense of respect?
      (Or self-respect, however small;-) The scarcity-culture is obviously well in place by the blacks and Hispanics too! It could also be that all that testosterone in combination with a little sodium is a deadly combination for people with aggressive tendencies like blacks and hispanics and …Pinoy!;-)

      With the common sense of…fuckwit and the testosterone level of a….medium male Hippo! Lol!;-)

  2. Profile gravatar of beameup

    You’re lucky to get anything other than a fork & knife in the P.I.
    (although, with pizza, you do get that all-important ketchup and hot-sauce… LOL)

  3. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    I have been on flights from the middle east to Manila, where they sttod outside the plane and took back the airline blackets.
    Now would be friggin cheap to steal a paper thin, small as fuck airline blanket????
    Yes a Pignoy would do that!!!!!!

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      Absolutely Al!! If it is not chained down, the Pignoys will steal it! That’s why in majority of hotels in Manila you pay P2000 “bond”, they will refund you if you did not steal anything. Even here in Oz, Flips have been known to take anything worthwhile. Linens, towels, even the bloody alarm clocks! Of course they can do this because Aussies trust the guests not to take anything from the room. Really, why would you? When it comes to thieving, Pignoys wins hands down!

      And during fiestas…. not only will they bring their extended families, they pass food by the window also, to take home! Shameful, absolutely shameful!

  4. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover

    They probably steal napkins to use as butt wipe.

    These people just spoil everything for everyone. If I was a business owner I would probably not supply anything but the food and a plate and some cheap chop sticks. If people steal a whole supply of condiments within a day and this happens on a daily basis there goes my profit.

    Course, if I say a foreigner with respect and money I would probably have a stash in the back reserved for them.

    These parasites are cook roaches dieting up the street and spoiling it for their own kind. Reason Filipinos have a hard time with business is because they will all pull each other down until nobody wins. Watched a documentary recently where this couple who loved to breed like cook roaches, couldn’t support themselves any longer and had to resort to a loan to start a business. Well it became semi successful for a while until all their neighbours copied then and put them under. That’s how these people work.

  5. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    Usually the copy cat business is financed by an ofw or kan husband or boyfriend. I see so many times they start a business with no plan.. or they see somebody else with a barbie stand,, 2 weeks later they are out of business too.

  6. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    I have to consult my supervisor.

    Classic line sadly.

    Business employs people at 200p a day like restaurants in ayala and expects them to buy their own 12pm amd wtf.. Expects to get quality staff ????
    Havent they worked it all out the quality kf staff ovwrseas gets people coming back.
    Wait??!! No!!!
    In the philippines filipinos are brain dead idiots
    All they want is something basic..
    No class..
    No atmosphere…
    As long as its cheap
    Everything is to a price.
    Having a decent lifestyle is out of the question.

  7. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

    Simple a culture of scarcity. As the numbers are ticking towards 150 million, water and food becomes more scarce and sea levels rise it will be still more scarcity, and Pinoy behavior will be even more discusting! Just you wait and see…..

  8. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

    Years ago, I would occasionally visit a flip grocery store, owned by flips, and order lumpia–one of my favorite foods (which, on a side note, I copied and perfected, but would any of the aswang’s family give me kudos for them? Absolutely not–more on that in a post I hope to compose in the near future). Anyway, I would only order enough lumpia to have as an accompaniment to other foods I would order, Well, you pay by the pound for their hot foods, and they would wrap it in aluminum foil. Now, at any “normal” hot foods deli in a “normal” supermarket, they will take off for the weight of the container (called the “tare weight”, since you are paying for the food and not the container it comes in). But would the “you-can-take-the-flip-out-of-the-Philippines-but-you-can’t-take-the-Philippines-out-of-the-flip” baboons take off for the weight of the container at their hot foods deli?

    Do I need to give you the answer to that, or can you figure it out?

    Not only do they make you pay, but they will put the food in a massive amount of aluminum foil to increase the overall weight! I know that aluminum foil costs money, but they must have figured out that aluminum foil, by weight, is cheaper than the food’s per-pound cost.

    And oh, yes–you need to ask them for napkins and condiments, they will give you only one napkin, and there is nothing on the dirty tables where you can eat (I never ate there, instead opting to eat either in my vehicle or at a nearby park).

    Now I wonder what would happen if I were to put a few extra items in my pockets if I were to visit one of their grocery stores?

  9. Profile gravatar of Don Papa
    Don Papa

    looking at restaurant operator’s point of view, they knew 99% of Flip customers would abuse those “free” napkins.
    anything “free” are immediately emptied into their pockets and bags.

  10. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    Okay I have been back here for two days, already had three fights whilst driving fucking imbeciles.
    Now the condiments, I can JUST understand a bit, yes the thievery thats self evident, but I only fill up my condiment jars a bit too, due to the humidity
    I have given up on salt shakers and grinders and the parmesan cheese the shit they call that here, will clump up too, unless kept in a ref.
    So I am still looking at the bright side for at least another week !!!!!!!!!!
    PS I tried to pick up a refund cheque I have been waiting on for three months, from the SBMA Accounting Dept .
    BUT SIR We are the Government we have our processes, first the budget department then treasury before we can write the cheque.
    Sir it is the bureaucracy , can you believe they were fucking proud of that , Im just trying to get my housing bond back.
    Don Im getting my first probing

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Empty your salt shaker and fill it about 1/4 way with uncooked rice then add the salt leaving enough room for the salt and rice to mix. The rice will absorb the moisture and the salt will flow better. Can always add more rice.

      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        Thats an old wives tale it dont work in areas of high moisture, trust me, I was at sea for years and never fucking worked I dont care how much fucking rice the cook put in, the rice tasted like shit too when it broke up with the manic shaking and swearing then fell onto my food.

        1. Profile gravatar of

          Hmm… It works for me, and my wife, in our salt shakers, at home. Maybe it’s only good for small amounts and areas away from the actual ocean. Although we live near the South China Sea (about 15 minutes drive), our humidity is less than one would expect, while in the actual ocean. Just saying.

      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        I bought some at the supermarket too, my sepo mate was stopping with me he loved it, he said he had never seen the shaved stuff before he always that powdered whatever it is shit.
        PS, I still crave that shit to this day so have it in the pantry.

  11. Profile gravatar of

    Hehe I had a Italian friend on visit 2 months ago. We went to the restaurant. He ordered Spaghetti Bolognese and asked for more parmesan. The waitress went and talked to the other waiters, came back and said it will cost 100 pesos. My friend just shaked his head bought it. I just said Welcome to the Philippines, this is the way THEY do it.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      Do you see a pattern here? Pizza/Spaghetti Restaurants that don’t supply Parmesan cheese, or dole it out in tiny amounts.
      One napkin per person.
      Any kind of condiment containers on table are kept nearly empty.
      Public restrooms with no toilet paper, and if they do have toilet paper for wiping your ass and paper towels for drying hands, they pay an attendant (probably 100p/day) to watch and make sure you don’t take more than you need to finish the job.
      How often do you notice brochure stands at hotels are often empty?
      Buy a meal that comes with mixed vegetables, you get like one slice of carrot, 1 piece of broccoli, 1 piece of coliflower, about 10 kernels of corn.

      At Shakey’s, they have those group meal deals. Menu says “Good for 3 to 4 persons” Comes with a small pizza I can eat by myself, chicken and mojos, but it comes with only 3 pieces of chicken. How is 3 pieces of chicken “good for 3 to FOUR persons?

      Gotta love the socks “one size fits all”. Cool, I buy like four packs of 3 pair per pack. Get home and THEY’RE WAY TOO SMALL!! I’m only a size 9 US. That’s a pretty average size. It’s not unusually large foot size. And they do not take undergarments back for refund.

      What’s with the fucking athletic shoe rubber they use for the soles of athletic shoes? Walking on smooth tiles like in the malls, and it’s like walking on ice. No traction whatsoever. No more bargain price shoes. Gotta spend 5000 to 7000 pesos to be able to walk without sliding all over the place on smooth surfaces.

      If you don’t have a lot of money to buy decent shit, be prepared for endless disappointment in Philippines.

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike

        Notice that you can never find shoes in half sizes? I did at a Payless shoe store but within 6 months they were wore out. Was chatting with my daughter and told her about this and she sent me some tennis shoes that are great. Check out the Ozark Trail line of tennis/hiking shoes.
        One size fits all. What about the bedding department. I went to get new complete sets of bedding and what did I find? Complete sets that had bottom fitted sheet, 2 pillow cases and a comforter. Want to confuse them? Just ask them where is the top sheet?

        1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

          Payless shoes are good for only a few months. They fall apart so easy. Better to spend the $50 for Adidas that will last a few years.

          Shakeys used to be my favorite as it was the only half-way western joint other than mcdonalds that I could tolerate. I got so burned out on it though cause I was eating there 3 times a week.
          The one I went to was in the mall. Bathroom upstairs with no toilet paper, no soap, and not even seats for their toilets!! I hate to think the employees were using that same bathroom cuase the best I could hope for is they were simply running water over their hands. I told myself they must wash their hands when they go back to the kitchen to make myself feel better.

          I always get food poisoning 3 times a year in the Philippines. No where else I’ve been, only in the Philippines.

          1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

            Johnny, that should be a clear indication that they do not wash their hands!;-) It’s also the most illness-ridden country in all of Southeast Asia! It’s a wonder they don’t shit in the food!:-)

      2. Profile gravatar of

        @Captain PFB

        Actually I never though so much about it. If I have to order food Im eating in McD, Pizza Hut or Burger King, or some foreign owned restaurant like Giusuppe in Bohol ( the best pizza I eat in PH and Poland, can compare even with the one I ate in Italy before). But also in general Im not going out so much than grocery. Before went often too bars with my wife but everything changed after the baby got borned. Now its just about to work work and work.

      3. Profile gravatar of tomas

        I had to piss with urgency while at SM shakeys Cebu… bloody idiots told me their restroom was for employees only! I myself have never heard of a restaurant without a restroom for customers.

        On that note more and more public restrooms seem to have TP… Mactan airport and Hilongos port both had TP available my last trip.
        Not supplying toilet paper is just plain fecking NASTY. Even nastier is the ones that do have paper expect you to throw it in a bucket by the toilet.

        1. Profile gravatar of InForAPennyInForAPound

          They are actually trained to throw the TP in a bin beside the toilet and even retrieve others shitty TP from within the bowl and throw it in the bin in Hotel and Restaurant Services courses at college. If you wondered why SM malls are run by the most filthy dimwitted filipinos you’ve ever had the displeasure of ever communicating with its because they must be college graduates where the final layer of logic and hardwork mentality are stripped from their youth and replaced by pure dumbfuckery and sense of entitlement.

  12. Profile gravatar of dpjb2923

    Honeycomb hotel restaurant in Dumbaguetie wanted 30 peso for one small packet of creamer for my coffee.
    I actually called the lady running the place that she was a friggen ripoff . I got the blank stare

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      Maccas wanted 50peso for a small amount of real milk, not creama now that is a fucking rip off. the milk sells for what 70 peso a liter.
      what percentage profit is that, 30 mml into 1000ml %.
      I will give Maccas head office a cudos here, they actually rang me when I bitched.
      They also thought that the salad was too expensive so left it off the Big Mac.
      Never use the drive through we had to go back and line up again and abuse shit out of them.
      Ah its good to be back .
      The child bride went to the market yesterday , after being in Australia for three months, The prices are outrageous , how can flips pay that much for fruit and vegetables, I predict a lot of scurvy coming down the pike.
      How the fuck do you guys live here.??????????? $12 for a melon $4 a kilo for an Pinapple

  13. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB Post author

    I have to have anchovies on my pizza, otherwise it’s just bland.
    And every time I order anchovies on my pizza at Shakey’s, there’s hardly ANY on it. They take ONE FILLET, and pinch off tiny little bits to spread on the whole pizza. You can’t even taste them!!! So I start ordering double….even triple anchovies. SAME FUCKING THING!!! Can’t even see them on there!!! I keep telling them I want big chunks of anchovies, don’t pinch them into microscopic bits!!!!

    Still, even 5 times anchovies, you can’t see them and barely taste them. PUT SOME FUCKING ANCHOVIES ON THE FUCKING PIZZA!!!! I’M BLOODY FUCKING PAYING FOR THEM YOU STUPID FUCKING FLIPS!!!!!!!

    Now, just like with the Parmesan, I just go buy a tin of anchovies to put on the pizza after it arrives.

    Fucking morons.