We Could Not Possibly Know What We Were Stepping Into


I’m not sure why some people don’t read the big bold red letters of the Submit Article page that says to MAKE SURE YOU ARE REGISTERED AND SIGNED IN BEFORE SUBMITTING AN ARTICLE. Normally I won’t publish articles that were submitted by an unregistered or not logged in user, but I thought this article was very relevant and well written, so I’ll publish it.

When you are not logged in as a registered user here, the author defaults to my account. I did not write this article, and I have no idea who did. Hopefully the true author will come forward and claim it. I can later re-publish it under his member name.


This thread has been very entertaining and I just love the stories and the venting from other foreigners . I remember when I first went to the Philippines I went on a ” tour ” . I had just left my job back in 1999 and had broken up with my long time girlfriend in the U.S…… I had originally planned on taking a few week trip to Europe but after many talks with a Filipino co worker I decided to do something completely different ( I even felt it would be somewhat dangerous as well….) and decided on a trip to the Philippines to really shake up my boring life .

The ” tour ” was sort of an introduction service but I felt the chances of me going to a foreign country and meeting a wife in the period of 2 weeks was ridiculous but it would be a good way of having a little structure and safety ( the tour was run by Americans ) I would have never even considered just jumping on a plane and going there by myself…..and who knows maybe I would get lucky when I was there and have some fun and adventure…

I thought I was a smart university graduate and I would be in complete control in this foreign country ( the Philippines ) . I was an idiot . After a week I had met a much younger ( 17 years younger…) and totally out of my league beauty . I mean , I had met a girl that would have been in the top fraction of the top 1% hottest  girls at a California nightclub . Not only that , she was soooo sweet and loving and was always describing the ultimate husband … a stable older man that is hard working , educated , financially stable , faithful , doesn’t drink excessively or take drugs  and is understanding of a foreign culture . In other words – ME . This was too good to be true , I could not believe my good fortune…. and in retrospect , that first year of going to the Philippines and bringing home my new wife and having my daughter was far and away the best and most interesting year of my life . If only I could erase the memories of what was to happen after that my life would be perfect .

Unfortunately , I cannot erase the memories of the events and misadventures that followed . Within a couple of years the first major crack in my fairy tale marriage appeared . My new business required me to travel occasionally ( maybe a 3 or 4 day trip about 10 times a year ) . I must point out that being an understanding husband I encouraged my wife to hang out with other Filipina friends and to help her ease into her new life and to alleviate some of the homesickness and culture shock that must have been weighing on her . So we had parties and gatherings , we had tons of friends . I sent her to driving school so she could have independence and navigate her new country .

It turns out that being a friendly and super hot Asian woman in Southern California will attract many fans , and as it turns out my wonderful wife was more than generous in rewarding her many , Many fans with her cookies and mango . Pretty much any cute guy , married or single , white , Latino , Filipino , young ( even minors ) , friends husbands , cousins , drivers education teacher etc.. etc.

Well , after I found out she soon asked for a divorce and she was out on her own . Unfortunately , a woman with 2 kids and zero earning power soon learns that the cute guys have no interest in actually supporting her and putting up with the constant indiscretions . So she ended up moving back with me and the kids ( not for me but for the kids ) I was always worried about the kids finding out and that it might cause them to become unbalanced – it worked for a while but now they are in their mid teens and know what their mom is like . And yes , she is still around . My albatross , now very hateful towards me – she doesn’t even try to hide her unhappiness as she did before , I feel bad for her now though because when the kids are gone I will be too and who know what will become of her .

There were some very good ideas posted in this thread and my advise for someone in similar situations is to 1) never bring the woman to your country . While there have been a few success stories , the failures are just too dramatic by Western standards to recover from . When these girls are away from the family’s watchful eye ( the family will not permit them to do anything that may kill the golden goose ) they cannot handle the freedom and temptation . If they are attractive they will stray if given the chance , and they have no remorse and no guilt – whatsoever . In other words in their minds if they do something bad and get away with it , it never happened . Period .

But in fairness as an older Westerner in my 50’s the idea of settling for an American woman my age is just not desirable knowing I can have the pick of the litter in a far off country – in that respect I have been spoiled .

I would submit that you spend time here and in the PI , get a good maid/cook ( and DON”T ever sleep with her…) and have a girlfriend or many girlfriends – whichever you prefer in the Philippines . Promise them the world , but never get married….

Published in Filipina Wife


  1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    @Filofail I’m not here for the article, but I’m here for the heading that you wrote. So it’s possible to re-publish an article under the owner’s member name? If so, is it possible to re-publish my very first article under my name as well, without the comment thread or article score being deleted? If so, that would be great. I didn’t know that my article from last year will still be getting attention now. I know that ultimately that every article written on here belongs to the site, and the site belongs to you. Just requesting if that article can be linked under my username. I just want to have a little bit more attachment to it 🙂

  2. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

    “I would submit that you spend time here and in the PI , get a good maid/cook ( and DON”T ever sleep with her…) and have a girlfriend or many girlfriends – whichever you prefer in the Philippines . Promise them the world , but never get married….”

    Agree, and that has worked well for me even I never promise them anything. (I don’t like to lie)

    Btw. I still remember what my older friend told me when I was teenager and drooling after some hottie. “Remember Jack, there’s always a guy who’s tired of fucking that girl” and that couldn’t be more true. After a while the hottie becomes just another girl and if her personality sucks the entire thing sucks. How I know, well I dated few models in here and my ex was stunner as well.

  3. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    Orphans are the best to have-you become both motherly and fatherly figure without the burden of having to deal with the family’s problems. Youngest in the family with no father is next best-you are her father figure while also the mom’s resposible husbandly figure and at the same not much responsibility for the elder siblings. Oldest with no father is next-still fatherly and husbandly figure but with more of a sense of responsibility for the younger siblings. Oldest with complete intact family the worst-down deep father doesnt like you because you are about his age or older-mom still likes you because you would make a responsible husband-they both like your money and want you to help raise their other kids. Promise them everything, deliver just enough to keep her on the hook. Always have an excuse as to why you have to wait until next year to get married such as “My brother has brain cancer and is dieing, his life insurance is going to leave me $1,000,000 but it stipulates i have to be single to recieve this money, so when i receive the money that is when we will get married.” After she figures out that you wont marry her she will run for another. Dont worry there are another 10,000,000 inline looking for a good husband who will make them and their family rich and give them a visa like you.

    1. Profile gravatar of TightWired

      Everyone has their way to take care of business. 3 years ago I retired from US Navy and move her on a permanent basics (I’ve done the R/R visit since 1998). I’ve heard so many stories of the bad pina/Asian GF/Wife. Alot of bad stories, with a few good sprinkled in.
      I’ve found that using Brutal Honesty has always been the best approach. On my prior holiday visits, I tell the woman that I’m here for 10 days, looking to have a good time, I’ll take care of her, but after that, I’m out of here back to the Real World. I have never fallen for “sending money for the sick grandmother”. If I get that email/text, that is the last time she hears from me.
      Now that I live here (AC). On the 1st night…I tell her that their is no way in hell, I will never support a woman’s family, especially if she has other relatives, no matter is they have money or not. THat’s the families job, not mine.
      The current 2 year GF has never asked me “directly” for Family Support. But…when ever a holiday or birthday comes around, I ask her if she wants me to buy a gift for her, or…just give her straight cash. It’s her decision if she wants to buy a gift for herself, or blow it on her family. About half the time she chooses the Gift route.
      I still find it hard to believe foreigners are still getting ripped out by their wife/GF. I almost think the husband/BF likes giving the significant other money…maybe it makes them feel good, or they are in control, etc… One thing about all the stories on this forum, very rarely is the world “Hate” ever used. So maybe Love is the pina’s best friend.

  4. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    Another thing is it is good if she leaves you or if you catch her when she cheats on you because the resentful brothers and father wont have a reason to stab you in the back. The whole family losses face. It can be a problem sometimes if you dump a filipina because the family sometimes feel that you just used and abused her then dumped her.

  5. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    Tightwired i know where your coming from. For me to some degree i really dont mind helping the family if they are helping themselves. I have a weakness for those 30 year younger super fresh super gwappas. I like to think that if i help the family a little maybe the family will put pressure on the girl to take better care of me. Maybe this is some fantasy of mine that really doesnt work. I kinda liken any payment to the girl or family as to a guy who makes his BMW payment to the bank. What would you rather drive, a new shiney BMW or 19 year old near virgin filipina. Everytime i see a guy drive by in a BMW i pitty him.

  6. Profile gravatar of
    Steve Declerck

    That’s also the lesson I learned : never bring the woman to your country. They totally change when they go abroad and the world is opening to them. Make fun in the Philippines but never marry one of them. I only know of a few success stories about westerners with pinays. The majority are total failures