NOTE FROM FILOFAIL:
I’m not sure why some people don’t read the big bold red letters of the Submit Article page that says to MAKE SURE YOU ARE REGISTERED AND SIGNED IN BEFORE SUBMITTING AN ARTICLE. Normally I won’t publish articles that were submitted by an unregistered or not logged in user, but I thought this article was very relevant and well written, so I’ll publish it.
When you are not logged in as a registered user here, the author defaults to my account. I did not write this article, and I have no idea who did. Hopefully the true author will come forward and claim it. I can later re-publish it under his member name.
This thread has been very entertaining and I just love the stories and the venting from other foreigners . I remember when I first went to the Philippines I went on a ” tour ” . I had just left my job back in 1999 and had broken up with my long time girlfriend in the U.S…… I had originally planned on taking a few week trip to Europe but after many talks with a Filipino co worker I decided to do something completely different ( I even felt it would be somewhat dangerous as well….) and decided on a trip to the Philippines to really shake up my boring life .
The ” tour ” was sort of an introduction service but I felt the chances of me going to a foreign country and meeting a wife in the period of 2 weeks was ridiculous but it would be a good way of having a little structure and safety ( the tour was run by Americans ) I would have never even considered just jumping on a plane and going there by myself…..and who knows maybe I would get lucky when I was there and have some fun and adventure…
I thought I was a smart university graduate and I would be in complete control in this foreign country ( the Philippines ) . I was an idiot . After a week I had met a much younger ( 17 years younger…) and totally out of my league beauty . I mean , I had met a girl that would have been in the top fraction of the top 1% hottest girls at a California nightclub . Not only that , she was soooo sweet and loving and was always describing the ultimate husband … a stable older man that is hard working , educated , financially stable , faithful , doesn’t drink excessively or take drugs and is understanding of a foreign culture . In other words – ME . This was too good to be true , I could not believe my good fortune…. and in retrospect , that first year of going to the Philippines and bringing home my new wife and having my daughter was far and away the best and most interesting year of my life . If only I could erase the memories of what was to happen after that my life would be perfect .
Unfortunately , I cannot erase the memories of the events and misadventures that followed . Within a couple of years the first major crack in my fairy tale marriage appeared . My new business required me to travel occasionally ( maybe a 3 or 4 day trip about 10 times a year ) . I must point out that being an understanding husband I encouraged my wife to hang out with other Filipina friends and to help her ease into her new life and to alleviate some of the homesickness and culture shock that must have been weighing on her . So we had parties and gatherings , we had tons of friends . I sent her to driving school so she could have independence and navigate her new country .
It turns out that being a friendly and super hot Asian woman in Southern California will attract many fans , and as it turns out my wonderful wife was more than generous in rewarding her many , Many fans with her cookies and mango . Pretty much any cute guy , married or single , white , Latino , Filipino , young ( even minors ) , friends husbands , cousins , drivers education teacher etc.. etc.
Well , after I found out she soon asked for a divorce and she was out on her own . Unfortunately , a woman with 2 kids and zero earning power soon learns that the cute guys have no interest in actually supporting her and putting up with the constant indiscretions . So she ended up moving back with me and the kids ( not for me but for the kids ) I was always worried about the kids finding out and that it might cause them to become unbalanced – it worked for a while but now they are in their mid teens and know what their mom is like . And yes , she is still around . My albatross , now very hateful towards me – she doesn’t even try to hide her unhappiness as she did before , I feel bad for her now though because when the kids are gone I will be too and who know what will become of her .
There were some very good ideas posted in this thread and my advise for someone in similar situations is to 1) never bring the woman to your country . While there have been a few success stories , the failures are just too dramatic by Western standards to recover from . When these girls are away from the family’s watchful eye ( the family will not permit them to do anything that may kill the golden goose ) they cannot handle the freedom and temptation . If they are attractive they will stray if given the chance , and they have no remorse and no guilt – whatsoever . In other words in their minds if they do something bad and get away with it , it never happened . Period .
But in fairness as an older Westerner in my 50’s the idea of settling for an American woman my age is just not desirable knowing I can have the pick of the litter in a far off country – in that respect I have been spoiled .
I would submit that you spend time here and in the PI , get a good maid/cook ( and DON”T ever sleep with her…) and have a girlfriend or many girlfriends – whichever you prefer in the Philippines . Promise them the world , but never get married….Published in