After residing in the Philippines for a little while I have come to notice certain things as I’m sure you all have. So for this post I will focus on stuff that is for sale in the stores here and what you actually get for your money.
Disposable lighters: In the Philippines that is truth in advertising. Buy the lighter and after a couple of turns, sometimes after just one turn of the striker wheel it flies off. So now you have a lighter filled with butane that you cannot use. What to do? Easy, just throw it on the ground and walk away like a filipino does.
Matches: One of man’s greatest inventions for the smokers out there, except in the Philippines. Get the cancer stick out, strike the match only to have it burn out halfway to your smoke. Even if your smoke is 2 inches from the match when struck. Better be quick!
Ink Pens: How can a people fuck up an ink pen? Simple in the Philippines. Even though brand new and full of ink it will stop writing after one page or so. The cause of this is still a mystery to foreigners.
Pencils: Same with ink pens. Only this time the lead is broken in several places inside the pencil and therefore impossible to sharpen.
Yellow legal pads of paper: I will be the first to admit it is pretty hard to fuck up paper. But to the filipino nothing is impossible to fuck up. Now pick up you ink pen mentioned above and start to write hoping the pen works for one page. Done? Now lift up your hand and look at the parts that were touching the paper as you wrote. Turned yellow didn’t it?
Shoes: Why the hell don’t they carry shoes in half sizes?
Sewing needles: Ever notice that most needles have the eye clogged with extra metal from when it was made? See that clogged needle eye? See 20 filipinos in 20 cars abreast trying to drive through it at the same time?
Air conditioners: In a civilized country just set the temperature and the unit will turn on and off by itself including the fan (window units for this subject). So how come no such thing in the Philippines? Oh they have a timer that turns the a/c off but the fan still runs until the condenser kicks back on. How fucked up is that?
Door knobs: Install and screw one cover plate down to hold it in place. Which loosens when you turn the knob. Where are the ones that are held together by screws? At least then your not always having to screw the plate back down every couple of days.
Mouse and rat traps: I’m talking about the traps for the FOUR LEGGED RATS, NOT THE TWO LEGGED. Sorry but you have to build your own two legged rat traps. Why can’t you find Western style mouse and rat traps here that kill the bastard right away? What do they sell? Traps that catch them alive in a little cage. Who wants a live rat anyway. So now you have this rat the size of a Grande bottle in your trap and have to think of a way to kill it without it getting out and raping you. Which, as big as these bastard are could very well happen and rats don’t practice safe sex.