Rescuing My Child From Growing Up Stupid

I came across your blog, because I was desperately searching for a way to get away from my Filipina wife.  The problem is we have a young child, and I’m stuck here for several months before I can move back to the U.S.. I applied for my wife’s visa a year ago, but since then I’ve encountered what all of you have obviously been living with, absolute mind boggling ignorance. There is no way I can let my child live in this country, but I’m a little hesitant to tell my wife I want to go back to America with my child and leave her here, because I think she will pass our kid around to her hundreds of family members and I’ll never see my kid again. Not only that, I’m a little concerned that her family might take revenge against me and try to hurt me. We will be getting our kids U.S. passport soon and I’m considering my options. I probably wouldn’t stand a chance in hell in getting custody of my child here in PH. The only way for me to feel comfortable is to get my kid on U.S. soil  first and then deal with a divorce later.

I hope I can get some comments on my situation.

Published in Filipina Wife, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of

    I feel your pain man. I married my wife here in Manila because I thought she was one of the intelligent one’s, but she reverts back to Filipino-stupid with the quickness when the situation calls for it, and her family would steal my last dollar if I left my wallet anywhere but in my back pocket.

    When you go to pick up your child’s US passport from the Embassy, ask specific questions about travel restrictions to the immigration officer servicing your request so you know exactly where you stand. My daughter has a US passport and there is nothing stopping me from buying two plane tickets to NYC and getting the fuck outta here at anytime. Do you really think the immigration officers at NAIA are going to stop you? HELL NO. When you get to the US retain a lawyer immediately and gain some legal ground to stand on.

    1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      I woulld be very careful about nai immigration ,, They can interpert the rules differently and want some ”extra paperwork” that can cost you a lot of grief,time and money..
      Also after this Malaysia airplane, they will be extra careful about bags an d papers.
      One very important tip.. You have to get the airline representative to escort you to the immigration officers in the airport. BUT make sure the airline rep. is working when you are taking the flight, When I go out of this country.. I am going to get the philippine immigration at the airport to check my papaers with the airline rep witnessing it. When there is a problem, try to get the airline involved. they are losing moeny if u dont fly. I know that is maybe overkill,, but better to waste a day this way than to get offloaded becos you do not have one piece of paper.
      NOte i have not tried this,, but intend to b4 i fly out

  2. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    I brought my kids back to Australia simply because I knew they didn’t have a chance if I let them grow up in The Land Of Lip Service.

    If you have a US Passport for the child you still need an exit clearance and the official receipt you paid for the clearance. The receipt is more important than the clearance… just to prove you paid and didn’t get one on the sly. I would make sure you can leave with a child as she is also a Filipino citizen and they protect them from people traffickers because the US pays them a lot of money to comply with UN regulations the rest of us comply with because, well, it’s the right thing to do.

    Keep asawa onside and get her to the USA also. Once away from her family she may change. If not, then you might have a chance… depending on which state as some are anal regardless when it comes to custody etc. Be careful she doesn’t file charges of domestic violence because that can screw you, even if unproven or proven to be false.

    If all else fails, pay her off. Good luck.

  3. Profile gravatar of daanlungsod

    Too bad about your choice in a Filipina, there was no lack of selection when I married. Our 2 sons will soon graduate with Computer Engineering degrees here, they’ll be able to start their careers in States with no student debt. Their mother is what makes our family great.

    I’ve stuck my dick in some wrong places but that’s long over now, good luck to you in making the best of this.

      1. Profile gravatar of Chicago_IceSkater

        I am glad I got my degree in the US…despite unsolicited advice from my late dad’s family (unsolicited cuz that’s what they are good at…it’s not like they are PAYING A PENNY towards my education) to come back to Manila after spending high school here. I graduated from a public Illinois university with a degree in MIS, and have moved up the career ladder in Chicago. Yes I had to combine scholarships and some debt but my payment is very small compared to what I am making. My relatives back home can eat it!

  4. Profile gravatar of Chicago_IceSkater

    No advice here…I am a Filipina (naturalized US Citizen) who moved here 16 years ago and I am so grateful for my mom who sacrificed a lot to get us here and out of the “land of stupid”! Married to an American guy and we have a young son. i am so happy to be away from our money grubbing relatives, the drama, the crab mentality etc. You don’t know how bad you have it and you think your situation is normal until you are removed from it.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Chi-town I will tell you a funny story about money grubbing relatives….

      So a friend of mine here in Manila messed up and got his girlfriend pregnant. So of course there was the obligatory family meeting with the girl’s parents and my friend’s parents and I just so happened to be there. I quickly discovered that the basis of the meeting was not so the future grandparents of this unborn child could meet and come together for the sake of the child..OH NO! It became a negotiation with the girl’s father leading the charge. My friend and his girlfriend wanted to discuss marriage, but her father wanted to discuss $$$ and had no interest in nuptials. He was demanding monthly support for his entire family in excess of 10k per month plus “snack” – WTF right??

      When my friend’s father declined this crazy request the girl’s father turned to ME and demanded money saying he would file a case. I welcome it and will thoroughly enjoy a legal proceeding here

      1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

        JustJabari. From personnel experience I would recommend not getting involved with the legal system in the Phillippines if it can be avoided.

      2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        tell them you had a vasectomy and see what happens,, maybe the story will change. just a thought.
        If I were you,, i would get out of this country real fast before you get roped up in some court case you can not win.

  5. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    The legal system is the last thing you want to get involved in..
    They can get some some trumped charge against you and go to the beraue of immigration and block your exit from the country!!!!!
    The BI jail has no judge,lawyers,celfone, pay phone,,, and the embassy can not help you.
    What about the pregnant GF??? sounds fishy to me.

  6. Profile gravatar of surviving
    surviving Post author

    I appreciate the input from all of you. I went to the consulate and checked on my daughter’s passport. It wasn’t in yet, but I was able to ask the U.S. Government Official some questions. He hasn’t heard of the “exit clearance” that CebuBear mentioned. He said that I can leave the country with just my passport, as long as my immigration status is up to date. He said I can take my daughter as well with her passport since she is a U.S. citizen. However, he said that they could, and probably would ask where the mother was, and ask if they could call her. He said they couldn’t legally detain me, but would insist on checking with the mother, and if they found out I was taking her without the mothers consent they could charge me with kidnapping. Obviously that is out of the question.

    I got a gym membership for us before she got pregnant. I encouraged her to go to the gym after giving birth, but she continues to make excuses, she wanted a hula-hoop, so I got her one, but does she use it, NO, Yoga video, too hard. I got her everything she wanted to help her get fit and she continues to make excuses. I know there are GOOD Filipina women out there, but I really missed the mark with this one, because it is obvious she is one of those GIMME, GIMME, GIMME gals that just wants to sit on her ass and ask for money for herself and her family.

    I wanted to do as CebuBear mentioned, and get her to the U.S. and away from everyone here to give her a chance to change, because I wanted my daughter grow up with a mother and father. I’ve been exceedingly patient, encouraging, and flexible, but she refuses to change and the stupidity is just overwhelming to live with 24 hours a day. I can’t take it any longer so the only course of action for me is to sit down with her and be honest.

  7. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    I am no expert on this subject but have had some experience. Several years ago my wife and I took our grandson back to the states. His father was already there. It’s been a long time so I forget everything we had to do but we did have to jump thru some hoops and get permission from the Philippine govt. to take him with us. Your situation is different. I just think that it would be best to have your wife’s permission to take your child back. To keep her in the loop. If for some reason she doesn’t agree to allow you to take your child you need to have her go with you. Once you get to the states you will be on your own turf. You may have a better chance of keeping your child in America. You can get a divorce in the states. The Philippines will not recognize the divorce but the U.S. will. Your wife, being on unfamiliar turf may take a payoff if nothing else works. Plus she will be in the states where she can have better opportunities. Again. Please don’t think I know what I’m talking about. I am just giving my point of view of what might happen. I’m no lawyer. Good luck to you.

  8. Profile gravatar of Alicia Cummings
    Alicia Cummings

    Do you know there is a stupid german mgr in our company who fell for a monkey girl & left his wife (monkey girl is 10 yrs older, married, has a kid), just saying, germans can be stupid too
    About getting custody of your kid…you can pretty much PAY for everything here in the Philippines to go around the law