Ok I have read a lot about foreigners getting married to a Filipina & regretting it later. It is easy maybe for foreigners to divorce or separate but being “Filipina” myself, I look at marriage as something permanent, that I’ll do everything to keep it. So hearing about these horror stories & somewhat ‘relating’ to them since I am marrying a Filipino guy now I am actually having 2nd thoughts! You see there are a lot of things, irresponsible things about my fiancé that bothers me greatly especially now w/ all the wedding planning stress. Let me enumerate these ‘qualities’ that is ‘typical of a Filipino:’
- His parents are spending for the wedding (at least his share, w/c is 50%), for my share I am spending on it myself
- Even if his parents are already spending on ‘his share’ of the wedding he has the audacity to ask more money from his parents whenever he falls short, w/c is all the time, because he refuses to commute, always takes the taxi, buys expensive clothes he can’t afford, etc.
- Every now & then he talks about all the things he wants to buy & I keep on reminding him he can barely afford daily necessities, he said he has “the right” to give himself these luxuries as he is still young & he is “working hard”
- He borrows money from me promises to pay it in a couple of days but never bothers to pay it at all, then he tells me he lends money to other people
- He is actually a doctor and he goes out of his way to please other people, giving free checkups, spending all his money on transportation just to visit patients then charges all these expenses to his parents or to me, he also relieves for senior doctors who doesn’t bother paying, he says he can never say no (I guess that’s being Filipino?Even if you have no means of doing it???)
- He is never on time, I actually do not expect that he will show up on any appointment until it is a couple of hours before, as he always cancels, he always gives the excuse that he is a doctor & it is his job but it is ‘very rare’ that his reasons are work-related, he believes I have to wait for him at whatever time he “believes” it is convenient for him to come, like 4pm in the afternoon for a 10am meeting time — I guess this is TOO MUCH of Filipino time?
- He constantly reminds people that he is a doctor, w/c is something embarrassing & I shrug off but lately I’ve realized that this goes beyond cockiness, he believes he is above everybody else including me (I don’t know why as I’m earning 4x as much as he is!) & that I should simply understand all his irresponsibilities & tardiness because “he is a doctor”
- He does not have as little as 2k pesos to spare & I was the one who paid all the downpayments on our wedding suppliers, his family also doesn’t but they promise they will be able to deliver the other 50% (his family also asks him to borrow money from me when he needs it, they said he shouldn’t be ashamed since we are in a relationship)
- He always says his salary is too small that’s why he always runs short but I have some staff who are earning as much as he does, supporting themselves & at the same time able to buy condo units on mortgage
- He is never able to submit any documents/requirements of wedding suppliers on time and he boasts he can ALWAYS negotiate the deadline
- He is delaying wedding preparations as he said he doesn’t have the money yet to pay for them yet he books random things like program hosts & photobooths, prioritizing these over necessary wedding aspects like documents/invitations/etc..
- He will not allow me to be stingy on choosing wedding suppliers, he will choose the “known” suppliers of celebrities even if the products are the same or even less appealing as long as they are the most expensive, but then asks me to pay as he doesn’t have the money & his parents hasn’t “produced” the money yet for their share
- The only supplier he has actually shared payment for is the church for w/c he asked if he can keep the receipt (he has to show it to his parents as they don’t trust that he will use the money for the church/wedding, they want to get assurance he didn’t spend it on shopping instead)
Well I guess after re-reading my article I feel very stupid myself. I guess my brain has shrinked…Published in