No Sir Cant Do That

Ok, so I read the BDO fun, and it made me remember a recent excursion.

Shot down to Mamburao (top pf Mindoro Occidental) for a few days to have a look around. Was with a Filipina who happened also to be a lawyer, but whether its possible to be a Filipina and a lawyer is quite a different story.

Back to the Mamburao story. So needed some food and some booze. Off we went to the nearby markets on a street with lots of stalls lined up, chairs and tables, covered roofs, looked good.

So went to the chicken stall, and said, two beers and two plates of “something or other”. Sorry sir we
don’t serve beer her. Hmm, so I says, So where ? “Sir just a few stalls that way” and hand signals.

So out comes the two plates of food. That is important they still served part of my order. I paid.

The lawyer sits and guards the food. I shoot off to the stalls a few vendors down, buy some beer and come back. Of course its been opened by the booze vendor. Before leaving I say can I bring the chicken back here? “Sorrrry sirrrr only our food”. Hmm! Off back to the chicken palace.

“Sorry sir, you cannot drink beer here”

Hmm, I started to smoulder. I said something like “OMG I ask for beer and food you say dont sell beer I say where you show me and you serve me the food, I go get the beer and now I cant drink it here”

Blank stare.

Double blank stare.

Fire is appearing. “so what do i do run between the stalls to eat and drink” and “you sent me to get my booze” (and I did not swear though words like dumbfuck were thought.)

Triple blank stare.

Actual flames now. Listen fuckit just give me money back and I will go drink me booze and buy some food from those guys”

Quadruple blank stare, stunned silence.

Then almost a whisper, “you want your money back” and “yep” and immediate melt down blank stare, this stuff was not computing, the poor lass was in absolute melt down.

Flames and Sparks. “Shit I could get better organised food and booze in middle Africa, what is it with you. Give me money back and I will go elsewhere buy some chicken and and drink me beer ” (which btw had been opened by the other stall)

Fortunately before the young lass had a nervous breakdown the owner who had heard everything, a middle aged woman, outside the stall said “give him his money back”

Well the story continues, eventually got some food had the beer and the food, and the Lawyer says “how come your criticizing my country” (re africa and service)

Oh I think I borrowed the blank stare.

One thing fer sure most Filipinas never think when they do something its solely about handing over the cash in this case the Php for the chicken.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy


  1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

    A lawyer? As a rule of thumb I just automatically retard the profession of any individual here in The Philippines. Primary reason is to not get my hopes up.

    At best, Lawyer = Paralegal… Doctor = Nurse… College Professor = High School teacher… In this country.

    Whenever someone says “i’m a college graduate”, I equate it to compleing high school in the states. Not impressed with ANY college grads here.

    I would’ve just blank stared at the lawyer chick after her comment, told her “No”, continued to eat and ignored her comment. That’s the way they handle an uncomfortable situation, just do the same back.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Fuckin right on dude! After witnessing the extremely, unbelievably, high levels of incompetence and disregard for education, I would probably compare them with middle school (8th grade) graduates at most. I have a 14 year old sister who has more common sense and intelligence than these retards. My so-called course Professor is a joke. Not only is she already equipped with the title ‘Professor,’ but she demands to be addressed as ‘Doctor’ for her title, and she is not even in the nursing department. I know when we address someone as doctor, it normally refers to the guy in the white coat. In her (yes, my professor is a female) case, she graduated with a PHD in Criminology.
      I don’t approve of her title as doctor for numerous reasons:
      1. Allows her students to cheat on exams and does nothing about it
      2. Most Filipino college students (especially in my department) are fuckin idiots
      3. Her inept abilities to control and discipline her students are substandard.
      4. Like any Filipino, horrible time management. Usually late to start her lessons
      5. Delegates her secretary to grade assignments, but the secretary does not check for accuracy, only checks to see if it was done to get a grade.

      I knew about number 5 while I was discussing important matters with her at her office one time. She only gives a default grade of 85% if it appears that you have done the assignment. They were not checked for diligence, accuracy, or grammar. So I exerted 1 hour of effort, just so it can be checked in 3 seconds to make sure I answered all the questions (which is normally 5 or 6). So no matter how well of a job I do, I only get a fuckin grade of 85%, which is the same grade that these other fuckers got who could’ve scored wrong answers, or just had their assignment photo copied from other classmates, which is a common practice of my classmates.
      Overall, what I’m saying is: if this is how she runs her class, then most likely that how her class was ran when she was a college student back in her days. Doing the wrong fuckin thing your entire college career doesn’t constitute a PHD degree in my eyes. Whatever, it’s fuckin Philippines, you can get away with almost anything here, so why even bother right?

  2. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
    Pearl Of My Ass

    Big cultural shock now that I arrived back home.
    The moving ice that took care of shipping back my goods from Manila to my home here in freezebutt land advised they would arrive with the boxes at ~8h30. They arrived at 8h34 (amazing right!? 😉 but they guy told me “so, sorry I am late, where are the boxes to pick up !? ” hum, well, you’re supposed to deliver boxes, not pick them up.
    What I saw one the guy’s face was not a blank stare but rather an horrified one, after he went through his paper he said “sorry, it is a mistake, I will go back to the depot and be back within an hour, sorry.”
    But wait, that’s not it, you know what he said ? “It is my fault, I did the mistake this morning, I am sorry”. I remained speechless, not used to have a mistake, a failure marring my life, being ‘owned’ by the guy in front. No lame excuse, no decoy or bullshit, plain fuck up owned by its perpetrator.
    So I was of course very understanding and the guy came back within 45 min with our boxes (amazing again). The guy looked like he does MMA amateur so, this helped as we’ll 😉
    Anyway, it is shit to be back home but it is revving orating not to be surrounded by sub-standards cocksmockers.
    Now I am visiting relatives in Holland, my God, the level of courtesy and politeness….. Pffffff….
    My best wishes to all of you guys, a bit in advance, but with all my thoughts and thanks for the reads all this year 2013 which has been an exceptional one in the Phillippines.
    Take care guys