Sky Cable – More Typical Filipino Stupidity

sky-cableCignal Satellite TV really sucked. The slightest drizzle of rain knocked the signal right out, and so no TV until it stops raining. So when I moved, I decided I would switch to Sky Cable. I’ve never dealt with them before, but knowing it’s run by Filipinos, I fully expected all the typical lame brain idiot stupidity that you can always count on from a Filipino. So sticking with my general rule to keep all my expectations at subterranean low levels for success, I signed up for Sky Cable TV and Internet.

So a week after install, right off the bat, the stupidity begins (as fully expected). My address is wrong on the billing. Certainly wasn’t my error, why would I put some unknown address on the application? A 3rd grader could copy the address off my application when inputting it into the billing system. But not Filipinos! Their brainless stupidity reaches bottomless depths. But hey, I’m an understanding guy, who knows what could have happened to create this error. No big deal, I simply call central hotline and tell them to correct the error and put in my proper address.


DUMBFUCK FILIPINO SKY CABLE EMPLOYEE: “Impossible sir, you will need to go to your local Sky Cable office to have the error fixed.”

CUSTOMER WITH AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN (ME): “Well, can’t you just call them and tell them to correct YOUR error?”

DUMBFUCK FILIPINO SKY CABLE EMPLOYEE: “Sorry sir, the Sky Cable customer service is walk-in only”

CUSTOMER WITH AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN (ME): “UUHHHH FUCKIN’ WHY???? THAT’S PRETTY FUCKIN’ STUPID DON’T YOU THINK? Have you any clue about customer convenience? ESPECIALLY when YOU FUCK UP? You’re going to make ME have to go out into traffic full of ignorance shit-for-brains drivers to simply correct my address that YOU fucked up in the first place???? Why are you idiots so incredibly stupid??”


CUSTOMER WITH AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN (ME): “Oh, well that makes me feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER………..NOT!! Your policy is a policy of not being accountable for your errors, and making your customers have to fix your errors, right?”

DUMBFUCK FILIPINO SKY CABLE EMPLOYEE: “No sir, that’s just the way it is.”

CUSTOMER WITH AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN (ME): “Well, I have one thing to say to you. If you want me to pay my bill, then you need to get the bill to me, and if YOU put a different address on the billing than I put on my application, then that’s YOUR fault, and YOU should correct it. If I don’t receive a bill, you will not get paid. I will not go to your office of idiots to correct your mistake. If you want to keep me as a customer, then you will find a way to fix your own fucking mistake. No bill, no payment, simple as that. Now, here’s my correct address (I dictate my address). The rest is now up to you dipshit. You want my payment? You now know where to send the bill. Fix it.


CUSTOMER WITH AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN (ME): I believe this is Sky Cable, is it not?

DUMBFUCK FILIPINO SKY CABLE EMPLOYEE: Yes sir, but this is the customer service hotline.



This is so very typical of just about any service in Philippines. You will get this kind of utter stupidity with everything.

No wonder Philippines is such a poor country. They are WAY TOO STUPID to get anything right. It’s not poor due to corruption, it’s poor due to stupidity. They are too stupid to be honest, they are too stupid to be accountable, they are too stupid to stand up for what’s right.

Last night, about 50% of the channels had no schedule of programs. “No Schedule” is all you saw when trying to find something to watch. So I called to bitch at them.

Of course all I got was a lame fuckin’ excuse that they manually input the schedules, and the person in Manila hadn’t sent the schedule or some stupid bullshit like that. So of course,

“I’m paying for this service, I don’t want lame excuses. Someone didn’t do their fucking job, now give me what I’m paying for or cancel my contract. Get the fucking schedule up, and keep it updated without some stupid fucking blame game and lame excuses.

Filipinos are such fucking idiots, it’s mind-blowing just how unbelievably stupid these imbeciles are.


Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity, Sky Cable, Utility Companies


  1. Profile gravatar of Marius O.
    Marius O.

    [i]but this is the customer service hotline[/i]
    I actually LOLed.

    Obviously, the Failipines has a different definition of “customer service hotline”, along the lines of “a useful number to call if you find yourself with fifteen minutes that need wasting”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      Exactly. Half the terms used in advertising and business in Philippines are terms they don’t have the slightest clue as to what they fucking mean.

      Such utter complete imbeciles. It’s mind-blowing how fuckin’ stupid Filipinos are.

  2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    So let me get this straight…. a “CUSTOMER SERVICE” hotline can’t help “SERVE” the customer by at least relaying your complaint to the proper department at SkyCable, yet alone they can’t handle a simple address change themselves? Then what the fuck are they there for? Even I can change my state-side bank address online, or I can call in and do it, but it’s more sensible to change it online.
    Funny, because my entire business transaction with the cable and electric company I had in America was all done by telephone, not once did I had to walk into their office to inquire, update, or order anything.
    It’s highly advisable to refrain from Filipino interaction, or limit your interaction with Filipinos as much as possible. The only way I keep sane when operating with Filipinos is to have my wife handle all the idiotness of Filipino Business, which saves me the headache of doing it myself and having to suffer the chain of inconveniences until the job is finally done right.

    What’s up with that signal Satellite TV? It didn’t rain THAT HARD lately? Did they install an ordinary household antenna for your cable service? Hahaha, thanks for the heads. I wont be switching to them ever!

    On another note, this blog was a big help by warning me about PLDT. My idiot wife, her friend, and I went out last month looking for reliable internet. Her friend wanted PLDT, then my wife wanted it too. I told her that I’m not paying for that shit due to the fucked up rumors I heard about them on this blog. Well her friend got it, then a week later, she is already having service issues. It must’ve been bad because she came to my condo unit to use my shitty SMART pocket wifi internet for her tablet. SMART internet isn’t all that great, but I don’t have to deal with the hassle of incompetent Filipino Customer Service. It’s a self-install kit and easy to use. And no, I am not advertising for SMART. They still suck compared to American quality internet services. I miss Time Warner Cable 🙁

    1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
      Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

      You’ve obviously never called Smart customer service for pocket WiFi. If awards were handed out for this, I’d have to nominate that particular product for biggest fraud in the Philippines. I’d also have to nominate their customer service and technical support teams for most retarded in the Philippines. I’m certain that everyone who works there must first prove that they have an IQ below 60, and then go through special retard training. How Smart has managed to gather so many incompetent, monumentally stupid, absolutely worthless individuals under the one roof is a complete mystery to me. Even by the exceedingly low standards that I apply when dealing with any Pinoy company, Smart excels in falling short of even those minimal (almost non-existent) expectations. Smart is little more than a government sanctioned, criminal extortion racket. It’s directors belong in jail, and in any civilized country, that’s probably where they’d be. The most monumental of Failippines fails.

  3. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    Nothing Works there, its so true filofail !

    in a production line at an mfg plant they will send the good products to europe, Japan, korea and the US. The products with errors or defect are send to shit 3rd World countries like the failippines.

    Why ?

    Because those people are usually too stupid to tell there is an error and another reason is that those people dont know quality. They get what they deserves !
    And the Things that do Work they will fuck up somehow.

    1. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
      Richard aka Dick Head

      Agree, this country is the dumping ground of 3rd rate goods and export overruns from China. Just visit the Duty Free Stores in Clark Freeport and you’d see “Made in China” merchandise that were meant for the US market but somehow ended up as export overruns. In 2008, I purchased a few bottles of “Made in China” hand sanitizer at a Dollar Tree store somewhere in L.A. In 2010, I saw same brand of hand sanitizers that looked like old stock being sold at Parkson Duty Free in Clark.

  4. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    Sounds like any conversation with any customer service representative with any company in the Philippines. It’s just a horrible experience to deal with these morons. I just hate the thought of having to go somewhere or talk to someone about taking care of a problem. You already know in advance you are in for a bad experience. I have cignal. The technician is a neighbor and another complete idiot. If it wasn’t so painful dealing with these A-Holes it would be comical. When you point out how completely stupid some of their statements and policies are they can’t even figure out or understand how wrong they are.

    There does seem to be one invention that does work very well in the Philippines. The karaoke machine. Don’t those fucking things ever break down? I would love to be able to strangle the piece of shit that invented that thing. But before death he would deserve extensive torture first. Right now my neighbor is celebrating another B-Day and they always rent one of those damn things. It might not be so bad if they could actually sing but most of them sound like a dog being tortured and they actually think they are good singers.

    1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      amen to that..
      next week they will not have food,, unpaid bills, etc,, but they celebrate every frigin thing they go to the 5/6 dealer, relatives, work mates, steal off the employers,,
      i wish i could find the idiot who invented koroke,,,a special place in hell awaits him..
      koroke is specially designed for these idiots,, they can blast noise all over the hood,,becos they are noise loving idiots..
      when i go back to my home country i am going to retire where there is no flip within a 100 miles of me.. i swear that the smart ones left,, and the village idiots took over.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        i read on the net,, there is a way to break a amplifier by sound waves,, but highly illegal
        anybody know of this wonderful machine????

        1. Profile gravatar of Marius O.
          Marius O.

          Microwaves, not sound waves. Microwaves travel in straight lines, so directed at an electronic device they will induce (large) currents to flow in random parts of the circuit – whichever ones happen to resonate as antennas – and the circuit will fry.

          Unfortunately it isn’t practically possible to do this. You need at least a couple of kilowatts and a parabolic antenna, so people will wonder what the hell you’re up to. And it will cook anybody in the path of the beam.

    2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      korokes and flips are made for each other,,,
      however when the boose and money runs the koroke dies a slow death,,, the party usually in a slugfest between the barkadas.
      the above story reminds me of the time they would kill their dogs with a bolo on my pavement right under neath my bed room window!!!!! What a horrible noise that was..
      their excuse,, cos the pavement is cleaner!!!

  5. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    That’s policy. I laugh when I hear those words. I tell them their policy is wrong and I don’t care what your policy is, this is what I want. I find if I persevere I can usually get a change in policy organised. The policy excuse is the fall back position for Dong or Dai who have no authority and usually no clue how stupid their entire existence is.

    I remember getting Sky connected in Bogo. The office was open two days in the month for payments. My bill came in on the 3rd, was due on the 17th, they were open on the last two business days of the month so there was no way I could pay my bill on time at the office and no, I wasn’t paying in advance. Eventually they changed my billing date just as I moved to Talisay where the office was open a few more days in the month anyway.

    Then there was PLDT phone land line and internet connection. They refused to connect to the Talisay house because the last occupant hadn’t paid their bill. So I tried the other mob and got the same story, from the tenant before the last one! I was ropable! I argued this with several idiots in ever higher salary brackets but was told it was ‘policy’. I told them it was my policy to charge them, individually and the company, for my time and I went back with three or four invoices for my time. I never saw a peso, of course but I did get a call from the Manila office who advised they would waive policy this one time so finally, three weeks down the track, I got my land line and internet. It is wonderful to read how nothing has changed in the last decade.

    1. Profile gravatar of L. "Dead Man Walking" K.
      L. "Dead Man Walking" K.

      lol so you were having problems with stupid failipinos because another stupid failipino didnt pay their bill before vacating the premises.

      It’s almost like a slipery slope of nonstop failness in this country.

      I got that exact same problem when i arrived in Manila.

      1. Profile gravatar of L. "Dead Man Walking" K.
        L. "Dead Man Walking" K.

        Now that i think of it, its the providers themselves setting themselves up for this failure. Theres a huge penalty fee for cutting your service before the contracted end date, so the failipino moving out has two choices. Pay that fee or just ignore it.

        Providers laid a rule but they don’t enforce it with claws and fangs so the fail way to go is for the customer to ignore it.

        Infinite loop of failure. “Hi the last customer living there didnt cancel or pay their bill before moving out, It’s our fault with our stupid rules, but our policy says we cant provide a service for you either because of our own rules that sets us up for failure.” -Typical Failipino telecom provider.

        1. Profile gravatar of jaime

          Yes, This lock in contract policy of telcos is nonsense. Well maybe if you get some hardware eg. Mobile phone or modem with your plan then lock in contract is their way of recouping the cost of the hardware. But what if the plan you’re getting does not involve any harware that would incur cost to the telcos. I just experienced this from globe where I applied for a postpaid plan and customer service says that there is a 1 year lock in contract for my chosen plan even if I would just avail of the line, nothing more, not even the free phone etc. I told them I dont understand your service termination fee even if it did not cost your company a dime to give me a damn line. ITS POLICY SIR!

  6. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
    Richard aka Dick Head

    “Customer Service” in the Philippines is a misnomer. They don’t know who the “Customer” is and have no clue what the word “Service” means. It’s frustrating when you have to repeat your story three times on the phone to three different persons.

  7. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    Sky is one more pathetic excuse of a company that I tried for internet some time back. On a 10 mbps package, I was consistently getting speeds well under 0.50 mbps, and during peak periods went as low as 0.15 mbps. I called the dunces in technical support repeatedly, and ultimately had the service disconnected within the 14 day cut off period that they offer, if the service is unacceptable. And so the Pinoy imbecile shit begins…

    When calling to disconnect the service, I determined that their “policy” was to have a service technician attend my premises, disconnect and remove the equipment at an appointed time. Fair enough. I’d paid the initial technician in cash for the connection fee, etc. I asked about my refund, and was told that their “policy” was that I go to a Sky office, and collect my money there. I told them that my policy was not to visit offices to collect refunds. They could have the uninstalling technician refund me in cash, deposit funds to my nominated bank account, or send me a check. After more than an hour on the phone, their accounts department agreed to have the service technician refund me – and committed such to an email. The service technician of course turned up with no cash, and no instructions to pay me. I told him to fuck off, and go get me some money. At least ten technicians have now visited to disconnect the service and collect Sky’s equipment. None have had any money, so all have been told to fuck off.

    Well over a year has now passed, and the worthless imbeciles at Sky are still sending me accounts, threatening legal letters, etc. I’ve long since given up on speaking to the retards in the sheltered workshop that they call their accounts department, and have written to them advising that they should simply stop threatening, and bring it on in court. I still have their useless equipment. My guess is it will be disposed of next time I move house.I doubt they ever be able to organize themselves sufficiently to make a decision to act, or file a legal case against me. Should be amusing if they ever do.

    On a separate note, I got on the piss with an expat one night who had worked as a consultant to Smart, who own Sky’s infrastructure. He told me that all plans offered by Sky (ranging from 1 mbps to 10 mbps) each have a guaranteed “minimum” speed of only 0.15 mbps (I checked, and this is actually true). He told me that they have so many people illegally using their network that they throttle EVERYONE, ALL OF THE TIME. That’s why my speeds were so slow. Nothing surprises me anymore in the land of imbeciles and thieves. Just one more criminal enterprise, specializing in bending their fellow countrymen over.

  8. Profile gravatar of Eric

    Ahh…another fine product of a Philippine university. 4 years of education followed by endless clearances and notaries and 2×2 photos and NSO visits and….

    Just to be able to get in a room with an interviewer for this FINE opportunity at the customer service center – where the objective is not really to help the customer. But really to serve as an insurmountable obstacle and prevent management from being bothered AT ALL

  9. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    if you do not manila electric by the due date,, you have to go to office and pay.
    meralco charges 8 % of the bill for loss fee ,, that is for the system loss. so the honest people pay for the thieves,
    why should meralco try harder to find the thieves when they just pass on the costs to other people.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      All businesses have some level of “loss”. In retail, it’s called “shrinkage”. For the sake of fairness, honesty, and fact, I don’t think there is a business on earth that doesn’t pass on the cost of shrinkage to the consumer.

      How else is a business to survive? If the business absorbs the cost of shrinkage, it goes bankrupt and out of business. They certainly cannot go after the thieves, because they don’t know who most of them are, and if they do, they can’t get anything out of them, and the cost of trying is far more than the loss.

      So when a business determines the price of their product, shrinkage or loss MUST be added to the price of their product. The honest consumer has always paid for any shrinkage of any business anywhere on earth.

      And when the honest consumer knows this, they are more willing to help report shoplifters, aid in fighting crime, and so on. Why? Because it helps to keep the prices down of things they buy.

      In the case of Meralco, they have to pay man hours for people to hunt down the thieves, then more man hours to do what it takes to stop the thieving, and then others will just continue to tap in and steal. It will never end.

      But when you have utility companies running pipes and lines above ground, and refuse to modernize and use anti-theft methods, and you have consumers that just bend over and accept corruption, never get involved when they see a crime (unless it’s against themselves directly), you have Philippines. They are too stupid to understand how a society works. They are too stupid to understand the greater benefit of honesty, dignity, good citizenship, etc.

      I hesitate to call Philippines civilized.

    2. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

      al that is another thing of many that pisses me off. How can the govt allow them to make the people that pay for their electricity also pay for the people that steal electricity. That should be the loss to the company not the paying public. If the company had to absorb the loss maybe they would actually try to catch the people that are stealing their product. Instead they could care less. How difficult is it to figure out that a house without an electric meter but has lights on is stealing electricity. The high rate of electricity in the Philippines is another rip off. My bills are double here what I pay in the states and I use about the same amount. How can the people here afford it? They are poor enough already. You never hear the President or Senators or congressmen trying to figure out ways to lower power cost to help benefit the people. They are all to busy tied up with dealing with corruption charges.

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB Post author

        As I told al, There isn’t a business on earth that doesn’t pass on the cost of loss (AKA “shrinkage”) to the paying consumer. Most shrinkage cost far more to prevent or recover than just adding it to the cost of their product.

        You cannot blame a company for people stealing their product. Blame the thieves. If a company absorbs the cost of shrinkage, this can severely affect their ability to stay in business.

        Passing the cost of loss on to the paying consumer is standard anywhere on earth in retail, utilities, services…etc.

        But in the case of Philippines, you see such sloppiness, no attempt to upgrade and invest in anti-theft methods of upgrade and installation, etc. You have the water companies laying their pipes above ground, inviting every neighbor to tap in, etc.

        It’s completely a business decision. What is the cost of upgrading an entire system to greatly reduce theft compared to the cost of the theft itself? Either way, the consumer is going to absorb those costs. And that is true in any country on earth. Thieves steal mostly because they don’t have money to buy. So how are you supposed to recover the cost from the thief, not to mention the legal cost and man hours to try to recover the cost, which just won’t happen.

        Add in the lazy, non-concern for a more civilized society, the acceptance and complete ignorance of corruption, etc and you have Philippines.

  10. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    FILO. I understand what you are saying and agree to some extent. However, if you take dept. stores for example and shoplifting. They do pass these losses on in higher prices. But the dept. stores also try to PREVENT shoplifting from happening. They have surveillance cameras and plain clothes detectives watching for shoplifters. If they didn’t try to control shoplifting while their competitors did they their losses would be much to high to pass on to their customers and they would no longer be competitive with their competition and go out of business because their competitors are keeping the cost lower by preventing theft. Merelco and other electric companies in the Philippines have no competition. They could care less if people steal their electricity because you and I are forced to pay for it. I say they should be required to make an effort to stop the theft. If they are charging some of the highest prices in the world they can afford to do some preventive maintenance. There are squatter areas where there are more people stealing electricity than paying for it. Certainly they can check these areas for illegal connections. There certainly must be a way for them to tell areas of high consumption but with low payment rates and target these areas. But they don’t care because you will pay them anyway for their loss. There should be a limit of how much paying customers are forced to pay for their system loss. If these people are so poor they have to steal electricity then let them use candles.

    1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

      One other thing about the high cost of electricity here. Certainly labor cost figure in to how much the electricity will be. Here in the Philippines the labor cost is very low compared to western nations but the end cost is a lot higher. How can that be explained away?

    2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      @heyjoe – Yeah I’m sure we’re both on the same level. In no way am I making excuses for Philippines.

      Department stores, retail stores..etc who do have anti-theft measures in place (security guards, unmarked roaming eyes, cameras being watched by security personel..etc) pay quite a cost for that. That cost is also passed on to the consumer.

      Obviously anti-theft costs are lower than the cost of thefts without security.

      What I mean to say is, Philippines already overcharges by leaps and bounds, so how much more when you add the rampant cost of theft.

      I do get it. I’m just saying that you cannot expect a business of any kind not to pass all costs of that business on to their consumers.

      You can buy a head of cabbage at SM, or you can buy that same head of cabbage from the little guy on the street market for half the price. Why? The little guy doesn’t have a shitload of employees on salary, nor does he have air conditioning, refrigeration, lighting…etc costs. Nor does he have shrinkage because he sitting there watching his heads of cabbage at all times.

      I don’t dispute Philippines overcharges for electric, internet, etc. I’m just saying that if you are criticizing Philippines for passing the cost of shrinkage on to the consumer, they are doing no different than any other business on earth.

      And it’s so much more in Philippines because they do nothing to prevent theft.

    3. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      well, it is easier and cheaper to pass on the costs to the paying public,,but that does not make it the right way to do business.
      i have never seen a system loss on an electric bill in north america,, but maybe they do not admit it.