I challenge you…right now this very moment…to think of any industry that lets you walk in when you feel like it, stay as long as you’d like, get a standing ovation for it, and then just leave.
If you couldn’t find any other industry other than the life of a 1%’r, then you have forgotten the most bizarrely twisted place of all; Failippines government!
That’s right! Here in the Failippines, showing up for work is about as optional as wearing pants at Mayor West’s birthday party on an episode of Family Guy. And to top it off, you can use almost any excuse you want! Your mother’s 2nd cousin removed hairdresser’s 12th child has the sniffles? Sure! Need to take five months to “focus” on your main career as a washed up has-been boxer? Even better!
And so enters Manny…showing up for work for the 2nd time this year! Not the greatest of starts, but maybe it’s the content of his visit that matters, right? After all, as long as you’re doing your job, what does it matter if you sit in and listen to those boring arguments about bills that will never affect you personally anyways.
Sadly, this isn’t one of those fairytales. Showing up more than halfway through the session, Manny was instantly greeted by the panel chair, who promptly introduced Manny as “the hero of the Philippines, who defeated Floyd Mayweather.” Now, before we sidetrack to the irony of how delusional the politicians are, with this statement all but proving that, let’s keep in mind that Mr. Sore Loser himself simply smiled and accepted the accolades. No humility, no setting straight the truth. Just purely basking in a glow about as real as dying fluorescent bulb in a part of town you know you shouldn’t be in.
Then, without having heard the arguments or having studied the subject matter, Manny does the equivalent of checking off “none of the above” on his test by voting down what few bills are left to discuss. 45 minutes later, he leaves. “Ladies and gentlemen! Manny has left the building!”
Just about any of us have either had a business, or know someone who has. Just for giggles, ask yourself what would happen to any employee that showed up, fucked around and did half assed work for 45 minutes, and then just leaves. Now try that bullshit answer you wanted to give with a straight face. Gotcha!
The Failippines gets the celebrities (and politicians) it truly deserves.Published in