When Stupid Meets Stupid: Life of Chaos with the Naughty Nanny

I know I’m gonna catch a lot of hell for this for talking shit behind my buddy’s back here on PFB, so lets keep this article between me and YOU ok?  He doesn’t do much reading anyway, and he is so far behind in debt with me, I think I deserve to throw him a cyber slap in the face.

I wont say too much about my buddy, since he is my closest friend here in Philippines after all, but his actions lately have gone below the level of Filipino Stupidity that I find it blog-worthy, plus it’s relative to Philippines.  My buddy really isn’t that bright and forgets pretty much everything you tell him.  He is also married to a Filipina, who is actually quite bright.  She is even smarter than he is most the time.

Well this buddy of mine has four kids, and they keep them busy around the clock.  So what’s the cure to keeping the kids occupied and out of your hair?  HIRE A NANNY.  OK, so now they have this ‘live-in’ nanny who only gets paid 3,000php a month, which is like chicken-feed to us, and she is living in this luxury 4-bedroom 2-bathroom house, with new furnishings, and a brand new car.  She is somewhat attractive, like a 7 out of 10.  So she sees everyone living the high-life 24/7 while she is working for scraps.

My buddy’s wife tells him to stay away from the nanny because she knows she is very flirtatious.  Well if you had an attractive nanny in her early 20s, and you wanted to make out with her, where would you do it?

Letter A) Take her to a nearby hotel

Letter B) Take her in your car and drive in a dark alley

Letter C) Take her to the movies and make out in the theater

Or Letter D)  Make out with her in the dining room that is completely surrounded by mirror walls, which is next to the front door, with your 4 kids awake in broad daylight roaming around the house.

Well my buddy woke up Sunday morning to get some cereal, his wife was upstairs, and the nanny was right there in the kitchen, and guess fucking what?  He chose letter D.

He totally got busted by one of the kids, and of course she told mommy.  Now he is in a world of hell with his wife.  Being their close friend, they told me the whole story.

OK, the stupid things I’m looking at here is;

1) If you knew that the nanny was flirtatious and hot, then why would you employ her?  The wife wanted the nanny, my buddy was completely against having her there in the first place.

2) Why would you cheat on your wife in the kitchen with roaming security (kids) all over the place?  Common sense dude!  The average unfaithful married guy has enough sense to go downtown in one of these Red Light Districts to get lucky.  I’m not saying anybody here should do that, but it’s less riskier than making out with your nanny in the kitchen when your wife and 4 kids are at home.

Of course the nanny has gotten beaten to a pulp and fired by the wife.


The moral of this story is, if you are stupid, and you know you are stupid.  Don’t do stupid shit in Philippines, because Filipinos will find stupid ways to make your life a living hell if you get caught doing something stupid.

Philippine Fail + Foreigner Fail = Epic Fail

*Of course my buddy is going through some legal issue right now, but the conclusion is of nobody’s business, so don’t bother asking about it under this comment thread, I still have ‘SOME’ level of respect for my buddy’s privacy, but this portion I’m sharing is definitely blog-worthy*

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        1. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

          I think you hit it on the head FiloFail. Dumb is as dumb does and doing it in the open is as dumb as it gets. We had a flirty nanny, or yaya. She would sit around in the lounge late at night while I watched tv, looking so doable. The wife would be wanting to go to bed early, I wanted to watch tv, yaya wanted to become the next wife… it was tense and at first I was oblivious. As soon as I figured out she was flirting I told the wife to fire her tight ass. Next yaya was a bush pig of a woman, but she stole from us. We caught her red-handed and she blamed my 6 year old for stealing my cigarettes! Third and final yaya was a plain faced little teenager from the wife’s province. She soon did the flirty thing too and I told the boss and she was sent back to the province at the end of the month. Too much hiya if we had fired her on the spot and people would say my wife couldn’t control her man etc. Was I ever tempted? I’m only a bear but c’mon? Would I ruin my marriage for a quickie? No way.

          1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
            FAFI Post author

            You went through 3 nannies and couldn’t find a decent one? Wow, that just shows how hard it is to trust labor around here. If they were poorly underpaid like my buddy’s maid, then of course they would be searching for a bit more than just money.

            Other than that, I really do admire your resilience Cebu. The devil on my shoulder probably would’ve taken over if I was in my buddy’s shoes, but I wouldn’t have done it as stupidly, IF she was super hot.

            And welcome back CebuBear, I honestly thought you got kidnapped or died. It’s nice to see you again. And yes, you are only a bear 🙂 LOL

          2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

            to Fafi, yup,, hiring these people is just one huge headache…
            but i worked with lots of filipinos overseas, some good , some bad,, they have this feeling they do not have to work hard, becos they are paid slave labor wages..
            this website is so good, if we meet up, i will buy you beers for the entertainment u give me. i live in manila.
            i thought i was alone in feeling miserable and fed up with smog, traffic, red tape, carbon paper (who uses carbon paper these days except the flip banks),
            this site is just like AA, i go on it to relieve my misery.

          3. Profile gravatar of FAFI
            FAFI Post author

            I don’t see why they would think that have to work lightly. They are getting paid at least twice as much overseas working at low-end jobs, than working at any average job here.
            Speaking of meeting up, I thought we were gonna meet up last month. I was wondering what happened. Since I didn’t hear from you, I decided to hit up my buddy in Mindoro…. oh yeah, that’s him who I’m talking about in this article. LOL. Anyway, I’m going back there this weekend to help work things out before shit gets any worse.

      1. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack


        Hey FAFI, I just got an idea. If you pay 20k/month to your wife’s family why not get rid of her and hire six naughty nannies instead. You would even save 2k per month! That would be something to tell about your friends and remember when you’re old. I’m starting to love the idea so much that I might even do that myself! 🙂 🙂

        1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
          FAFI Post author

          Yeah that’s one hell of an idea man. But why so many? I probably only need 1, but I will hire 2 so they can both fight over me and there is no chance of me being stupid enough to settle down with any of them. But did you forget that I’m in a school full of attractive (dumb) girls? I think already mentioned how I am admired there by few of the Filipinas, and are waiting for me to be single again. I get asked almost every week by a new Filipina if I have a girlfriend. No need to hire girls, I can get them for free 🙂 But you do have a good idea though

  1. Profile gravatar of Mae

    you know what I guess the wife is too trusting… Mind you this happen to all race not just Filipinos. I guess the guy is such a dick head throwing a good family.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      You are right, which is why I did mentioned the foreigner Fail part too. But this is a situation that can happen pretty much about anywhere in the world. This being a ‘STUPID’ scenario in Philippines, I decided to post it on here. It was kinda fucked up to ruin a perfect marriage with 4 kids, he definitely should’ve thought twice (and a lot more times) before doing something that stupid.

  2. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    This sounds like a COMPLETE setup by the wife to use against him for whatever reason in the future. My exwife ALWAYS hired homely conservative girls. Many times a gwappa would apply to be yaya and the wife would immediately tell her the job was already taken. If the girl even hinted at being flirtatous and was ugly she would immediately fire her. Filipinas are some of the most jealous and insecure woman in the world especially about other filipinas. This is a serious red flag for your buddy.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      Yeah, you are the 2nd one to say that so far and I believe you may be right. My buddy is in a world of hurt right now and here I am trying to bail him out of trouble before shit gets worst.
      Filipinas are seriously jealous beyond belief since I am unable to even have a single female friend come into my house alone without the wife getting jealous or suspicious. Filipinas definitely holds to the theory that “There is no such thing as a female friend.” They believe that every girl you talk to is your girlfriend, and that there is no way you can be ‘just friends’ with another girl. Well in my experience, I find that partially true with Filipinas. They either like me all the way, or not like me at all. I had a Filipina friend twice, but I’m not gonna bring up that shit again, but I think you already know the story.
      But as for foreigner females, it’s completely possible to be ‘just friends’ with them. My idiot Filipina wife is well aware of my opinions on most American women, therefore she finds no competition between them. I have some well-known American female friends that I am very open to her about, but I’m being very cautious about any Filipina friends (as if that will happen again) I meet here.
      Well at least I learned this lesson from my buddy, and hopefully most of the readers are learning from this experience too. I’m glad I didn’t have to experience this first hand.

  3. Profile gravatar of

    I can’t even joke about some Filipina being “cute”. My wife will immediately get upset – and then comes the tampo (sulking). Our maid isn’t attractive by any stretch of the imagination, too.

  4. Profile gravatar of Eau de Tourette
    Eau de Tourette

    Getting asked by the Massage girls if i have a gf, and by whoever i talk to. Footspa etc.
    Simple Rule as always: Do not eat where you shit. If someone thinks it will not backfire and some girl would be staying calm and nice…forget it. As a foreigner you are double target.
    Since that one guy with his wife faces tough problems 60% of the house is hers even if he paid it all and he will not really get to see the remaining or “his” 40%. It could be easily some setup or just fast reaction and method which is happening now.
    And usually no wife would employ a hot or very good looking nanny.
    Good nannies are anyways way hard to find. Most steal or do nothing at all. Or they just bring you this trouble mentioned above but that guy is seriously not smart doing this in the house.