Success Not Rightfully Earned in Filipino Culture.

I hear about this and wittnessed it on how natives Pinoys wont allow you to enjoy the success you have earned. Instead of trying to earn their own success they would rather steal yours!

For example: Ive heard of instances where if you’re a native and you have more money and a better house, neighbors will come unexpected, using up your kitchen, living room, outside deck, like they fucking own you and your house. I find this behavior extremely rude and disrespectful. But my wife has told me “thats just a part of the culture.” She believes these better off natives are welcoming these parasites, but i dont believe that. I think they are so persistent and persuasive, they end up getting their way. Actually, I have heard many times from my wife how her parents complain about neighbors coming over all the time. Home, in my opinion, should be a place of peace and it sounds like a place of hell if your a native living the the Failippines.

Another thing I have experienced first hand is the mentality of entitlement to your money and owing them. If you make success on your own and you have extra money the rest should go to the parasites that didnt work hard. Its such an upside down culture of entitlement and cheating.

Example: I dont care how much fucking money my uncle makes. He was head manager for a huge train company and started from the bottom and made his way up. Even if he had billions of dollars i would never ask for a penny out of respect, unless he offered and i really needed it. Pinoy culture is completely opposite. They go out of their way to steal and dismantle your success for their own gain and are ungreatful children. They can never get enough from you either. If they were leeching off my uncle he would be pennyless in a matter of days.

My wifes parents made a perfect example of their “culture” of leeching. Numerous times they have preassured her and her sister for more than they actually deserve. They have proven to me countless times that they only respect free money and not hard work and success. My wife has told me”you dont understand the life there”. But the fact is, I do and I know how much they actually need. Ive researched the cost of things there and they bite off more than they can chew. It pathetic how the native parents look at their children too. You see, they compare each others status on how much their kids send to them. It’s disgusting and disrespectful and honestly shameful. I recall one occasion where my wifes mother was complaining because “the neighbors are making fun of us because we dont recieve as much money”. See, they are more concerned with free money and keeping up with the joneses then anything else. What a true respectable parent would say is “send me what you can to eat. Thats all i need”. But you will rarely hear that. They are more concerned about being on the pedestal of their childrens success and showing off like children.

This part of the culture is puzzling and the most destructive my opinion. Their meaning of respect if being the opposite. Disrespectful and its excepted because “its our culture!”

Published in Cultural Rudeness, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of beameup

    Often called the “crab mentality”. When one “crab” starts to get out of the bucket, another “crab” reaches up and drags him back down. Essentially, the P.I. is a small primitive “tribal” culture trying to fit-into the 21st century. This “tribal mentality” simply cannot be overcome. If you try to “break out” of it, you will be attacked… maybe even executed. Murder out of envy and jealousy (ie: crime of passion) is not as “serious” in the P.I. and rarely results in serious jail time. Even stealing from relatives is perfectly OK in Filipino “law”.

  2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover Post author

    Crab mentality…ha, I like that. It’s spot on, they all just pull each other down instead of respecting one another and letting one an other build independent success.

  3. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    60,000 USD down the drain in a decade from leechers.

    I have learned from my mistake, I got the divorce they said you could never get, and I’ll never look back.
    I lost 15 years of my life to the Philippines, quit college 3 times because of my ties to the country, and had to quit 3 careers for it as well.

    The only thing decent I got out of it was my daughter, and I don’t know when Ill see her again. That, and I’m only 36 now so I have some time to fix the tragedy.
    If I could give just one piece of advice to any perspective retard about going to the Philippines for retirement, or family…………DON’T DO IT!
    You will only get ass raped for everything you own and thrown out with the garbage, and that is ( IF) someone doesn’t kill you for your “Monies” first..

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      I’m glad you could lend some advice because I was seriously thinking of retiring there but the more I find out about this place, the more it sounds horrible. Just one big scam. I would rather retire somewhere else I think.

      1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        It probably isn’t too bad if yo live in a wealthy place there. By wealthy I mean any place where the locals have enough money to not harass you. I found that to be in the nicer condos, and houses that were in the 4-6 million and above category. People in these places specifically condos and housing subdivisions are “somewhat” quiet and keep to themselves and are for the most part not a problem. there is definitely a class structure. Ill get to that at the end of this diatribe if you make it through.

        What you want to look out for are the ones hunting. When I met my first Filipino wife, I was 20 and fucking stupid. I met her via a chat room and thought “wow, going over seas sounds cool I’ll try it!” Got my happy ass on a plane and vanished for two years. Automatically assuming I would be perfectly safe as I was a sheltered bastard most of my life up until then.

        As it turns out most 20 year olds aren’t filthy stinkin rich so I was not “the big catch” her parents had hoped for, and they as well as her brothers all worked in tandem to ensure she would dump me. She didnt, because at least she had her golden ticket right, the BIG BLUE PASSPORT… Or at least hopes of getting one.

        Needless to say I got married there and that screwed up the whole fiance visa thing with the US immigration causing me to bounce around in the system for 7 years before I gave up on her petition to the US.

        Well that dog wont hunt monsignor!! She shit bricks, and I became that families worst problem since diabetes.
        I paid these peoples educations, school books, home appliances, allowances, groceries, apartments, I let their parents stay for free in two apartments in the states rent free for a year while they were to look for a job, I paid for electricity, cable, and outings, and fuel for the fucking car!
        Never even a thank you! just a long list of how I was a piece of shit.
        Joined the Army in 2006-2009 just so I could get her over to the US, in hopes at least the US government would straighten shit out. EPIC FAIL! LOL

        Needless to say being gone for five years changed my perspective on things, and I didnt put up with shit anymore. That wasnt what they wanted so I was essentially booted out of the house.

        I was working with a business partner from New York, and met this filipino chick who was also working for her. We had for the first time everything in common, and so I tried to do my little song and dance to get some attention.. COLD FUCKING SHOULDER! Turn me down like I was nothing. I kept at her for months until she broke, and discovered a side of the Philippine I didn’t know existed outside the wackos I had first contact with.

        A new breed if you will.
        One that doesn’t want to go to the US, willing to stay in the philippines or “whatever”.
        One that speaks perfect English, without a filipino accent, so I don’t have communication problems
        One that hates stupid pinoy behavior as much as FiloFail and the rest of us.
        One, that paid my way for a change on the order of a million pesos (In charity and kindness), Didn’t ask for pay backs and took care of me when no one else would and when I could not.
        Finally and perhaps most importantly One that was NOT looking for (not only a boy friend) but a white guy from the US.

        I know the above may be hard for some to believe, it wa and is still boggling my mind, but I found it.
        The key feel is the Class system.
        This girl isn’t rich, but she has a family that is and unlike the hunters out there on facebook, and chat rooms looking foreign nationals ie (westerners), this girl was not looking I had to actually harass the living shit out of her to even get her attention.

        So this is what I tell men who are going to the Philippines for the first time. If a woman comes up to you, BEWARE! Because they are probably hunting.
        The good ones are the ones not looking, and while we could probably have women falling at our feet in the Philippines, getting all tangled up with one that was a huntress is bad fucking news. Oh it may not hurt the first year, or second or third hell, you may go 10 years before you feel it; but chances are it will catch up to you eventually and wear you down.

        Unless you get the hunters what they want ei, Money, power, and that blue passport, or the passport of whatever 1st world country you come from, you are in for some shit. Being in the Philippines is like being in shark infested waters with chum underpants.

        RANT OFF……….

        1. Profile gravatar of

          Spartacus, your story reminded me of a 25 year old Pinay I was introduced to a few years ago. Her older sister (we will call Belen) has been in Australia for 15 years. The younger (the 25 years old) arrived on a fiancee visa to a 60 year old Aussie farmer.

          I used to take the younger sister shopping and to show her around the city. However, I noticed that whenever the husband to be would pick her up from my place, she would go all sullen. I started to suspect that the marriage was a scam.

          Just before the wedding, the young bride to be confided in me that she was forced to marry the old Aussie by Belen (the older sister) so she could help the family. She had another young guy she wanted to marry, a New Zealand man her own age. But older sister canned down the idea because New Zealand man did not have money, he was only a mechanic so older sister thought he could not help the parasitic family back home.

          So, off to the altar the sacrificial lamb was offered to the old Aussie, just so the parasitic family in the Philippines can be supported. Well, the young bride could not bear to be touched by the old husband. Three months into the marriage and she was reaching out to me, wanting me to pick her up from the farm where they were living. Said she was miserable and suicidal. So, I called Belen, told her that her young sister was suicidal because she wanted to leave her old husband.

          I could not believe the reply when I told her that her young sister was suicidal. I mean I could understand how the poor girl was feeling! But Belen just told me “tell her she can do what she wants! I already helped her to come to Australia, she should make good with what she has!”.

          I was horrified to hear this, considering that she (Belen) herself forced the young girl to marry the old Aussie because she is sick and tired of feeding her parasitic family. But instead of telling them to go and get jobs, they sacrificed the younger sister to become the next source of income!! They did not care that the girl could not stand to be touched by her husband. They just wanted the damn money!

          Knowing how desperate she was, I picked up the younger sister from her husband’s farm. The husband was in tears, begging her to stay. But she did not even looked at him, did not say goodbye, nothing. She got into my car and told me to get going. The poor husband tried to lean on the window and kiss her, told her to take care of herself. She turned her head away. I felt so stupid for getting involved.

          Not only that, when I dropped her off to Belen’s place, Belen’s husband swore at me and abused me for getting involved. I told him that she was suicidal. I did not want it on my conscience if she killed herself.

          After that incident, I vowed never to get involved with these Filipina dramas. I’ve since been asked to help a young homosexual man to stay in the country. He married a much older Filipina woman with Aussie citizenship. Similar story, he left her after 3 months. She accused him of fraudulent marriage and wanted him deported. They tried to get my help so he could stay. I refused. They accused her of domestic violence. Gay man had been initiating arguments with old Pinay, then she would react by verbally abusing him….and he would record the verbal abuse. He used this to fight immigration from deporting him. He won. Last time I heard, he was in the process of bringing his Filipino gay lover to Australia. I never got involved with these low lives after that.

          1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

            Thats a crazy story.

            Yeah, to become entangled in Filipino drama is to be transported back to 7th and 8th grade. EVERYTHING is over dramatized, and even if its legit and something serious could come from it, its like a black hole sucking you in, gnawing at your conscience.
            I think you did the right thing getting the girl from the older guy, better to do that than have someone’s suicide on your shoulders. I have to keep reminding myself that filipino people are the same ones who will sell their underaged daughters for 1500 bucks to some foreign pervert; (not all) but I feel most low class filipinos have a justifiable price consideration. So if they are willing to do that anything goes right? It’s about the “bottom line” and how much one can get before damage is done.

            Can you imagine if that girl had actually killed herself, how much you want to bet the family would be seeking some kind of reparation from the old guy for the death of their daughter? Blows my mind man.

            Im glad the other guy you mentioned was able to solve his problems without anyone getting involved.
            I got enough personal horror stories about the Philippines I could write a lengthy book, and I might.

          2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
            Pinay Lover Post author

            “Can you imagine if that girl had actually killed herself, how much you want to bet the family would be seeking some kind of reparation from the old guy for the death of their daughter? Blows my mind man.”

            And that’s what her sister was probably expecting. I’m sure she had that possible scenerio already planned in her mind “hmm, well she can either divorce and get all his money or just simply commit suicide and we can get more money! Hopefully she commits suicide!”

            I wouldn’t doubt that crossed the families mind. How can one value printed paper more than their own offspring, I can’t explain that. It’s a sick, sick world. It happens often in Thailand as well, parents selling their children off for money…..just sick.

          3. Profile gravatar of

            I could be accused of generalizing, but I’ve spent enough years in the Philippines to know that for the majority of Pinoys, it’s all about the money, money, money, money! and they don’t care if they have to sell their daughters to an old decrepit Kano with one foot in the grave, so much the better so she can inherit.

            I don’t know if anyone has read the case of , the Joan Ryther, the 27 year oold pregnant Filipina raped and murdered in Brisbane in 2013. After her death, her husband tried to do the right thing, took $16,000 to the Philippines to help her family. But the family fleeced him for everything he had. To quote Mr. Ryther after his Philippine trip – ” I only wanted to do the right thing. All these people wanted from me, or most of them, was money and they lied and lied to obtain money”.

            Need I say more?

          4. Profile gravatar of kalbo

            Yeah that was a particularly sick story.


            He planned to use the donations (16,000 dollars) to help her impoverished relatives but instead they fleeced him out of everything he had, using the money to build houses and set up a pig farm.

            “Pretty much from the minute I landed till I left, it was just lies,’’ Mr Ryther told The Sunday Mail.

            “I only wanted to do the right thing. All these people wanted from me, or most of them, was money.’’

  4. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover Post author

    Interesting story. I guess in some ways I am one of those gullible guys. My partner. Is thankfully not one of those gold diggers. When we first started dating she would often pay for the meals or at least half. She made sure that I knew she was not one of those users. In my case I had to peruse her and it took some time getting to the bed stage. She worked and still works hard and takes care of herself.

    The major draw back though is the freeloading manipulative parents that often change that self dependant responsible girl, into another person. I am pretty intuitive and I recall many occasions where words have come out of her mouth that were not hers but merely implanted. It’s a constant battle with the freeloading pimp parents which seems to be common.

    I don’t even talk to them because like I told my wife”they haven’t earned my respect.” They seem to be a little more respectable as time goes on……. But very little improvement.

    Us guys think with our dinks too much and sometimes miss important truths. I’m kicking myself though because I used to be infamous for “fucking and chucking” as the saying goes. The one time i finally want to settle and now I’m married into a family of parasites!

    Oh well, I have been pretty successful at keeping those parasites at bay and protecting my family from them. They almost financially ruined my wife but they won’t do it again. Im making damn sure of it. They fricken hate me because we only send them 100$ per month but screw em, if they are ungrateful for that then they are lucky to even get that much. They know if they can get their daughter to seep rate they will be able to milk her for more money. They know I am protecting her from them and hate my guts and I’m completely ok with that. They can hate me all they want, but they sure as hell ain’t going to financially ruin us.

    1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

      I think my biggest problem is that I went to the Philippines at 20 years old.

      I had no life experience, I had no, street smarts, I had nothing… Even going to the Philippines was some sudden thing at the time. I just out of nowhere got up and went. I felt my life was sucking in the US at the time, and felt that it was my turn to have some experience rather than watching family members my own age get credit. (I’m highly competitive unfortunately),

      I get to the Philippines scared shitless at the airport, I must have triggered the sucker alarm on every cab driver within 200 feet. LOL
      Thank God I didnt take a cab the 20 miles to the apartment I was staying in.

      At any rate, The family when they saw my age basically treated me like garbage, and I had watched a few episodes of lonely planet so I should be able to adapt right? lol

      What a fucking idiot I was man. The sad part is, I realize that if I could go back in time and tell myself, hell even beat myself to prevent it, I would still do it, thats how dead set I was. But I guess we all have a story like that.

      I just turned 36 last month, I have 15 years of that place Im trying to wash off, it’s like tar.
      I think had I been older perhaps like yourself, I would have done a lot better. at 20 being a sheltered kid at the time I wasn’t used to people not liking me, and I’m naturally a pleaser. I was so concerned that I would make someone upset that I would do anything they asked.
      So what you are doing in my opinion is spot on. Just keep being hardline with your choices and don’t get pushed around. Have that ONE line that you will just not cross and stick to it. If I ha done what you are doing now, I probably would have a whole different life.

      I’m a bitter person when it comes to the philippines and I think a big part of that simply comes from the fact I was too damn young to be globe and getting married in foreign countries, then living their for years at a time.

      The place as screwed me so much because of my financial and family ties there that I’m now at 36 having to literally start my life over from scratch.

      Just got back here to the states a couple of months ago.
      Had no job, no car, no drivers license, no credit, no saving, no clothes, NOTHING.
      Moved in with my mother and her sister….OUCH!

      Things are moving a log though, but this will be the last time I fix my life, no more Philippines for me.

      Anyway, seems you got a handle on whats going on in your life, and I apologize if it came off sounding like I was calling you gullible or stupid. Thats just my bitterness and self hate talking. lol

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover Post author

        “I just turned 36 last month, I have 15 years of that place Im trying to wash off, it’s like tar.
        I think had I been older perhaps like yourself, I would have done a lot better. at 20 being a sheltered kid at the time I wasn’t used to people not liking me, and I’m naturally a pleaser. I was so concerned that I would make someone upset that I would do anything they asked”

        I’m impressed you took that big leap man! I never even thought of that at age 20. I was to busy partying and wasting my life away! Lol. I feel like I didn’t really start my life until 30. Before then I was just partying and not saving or planning for future. I’m 36 as well turning 37 this year and things are pretty stable now, but it took some hard work and a lot of talking and negotiations with my wife to get here. If I had not got some sort of control over my wife, we would probably be living on the streets while her parents sat high and pretty getting their free money hand outs!

        “Anyway, seems you got a handle on whats going on in your life, and I apologize if it came off sounding like I was calling you gullible or stupid.”

        No problem, I think in some ways I was gullible and stupid! We have a kid now and her fricken parents planned it, I know it! If I were smarter I would have resisted the temptation to have unsafe sex and read into that! I read into it shortly after once the freeloading parasites were jumping up and down with excitement and asking for sponserships. They were even encouraging my wife to give up our kid and send him to the Failippines! NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY!

        So, I’d have to admit to myself and say, I was pretty gullible and stupid in this instance, but it doesn’t happen often! Trick me once, you won’t trick me again and after all this bullshit with her parents I automatically scrubbed them off my list of worthy people! But damn, there is no way out of getting rid of them unless an typhoon comes and sweeps them away.

        1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
          Pinay Lover Post author

          On another note, although I think her parasite pimps planned this so they could get a green card over here, I am still very happy to have our little guy. Super cool, happy and fun kid, full of fire. And being that he is in Canada where we are civilized, he will see the bullshit for what it is in the Failippines! I’m looking forward to that, I don’t expect him to make a very deep connection with that place. Like I’ve mentioned in another post, I talked to a Canadian born Filipino who looks at the Philippines like it’s a total waste hole, so I’m pretty damn sure my kid will cut through the bullshit talk about “oh, Philippines is the best place on earth” and see it like it really is.

        2. Profile gravatar of

          “They were even encouraging my wife to give up our kid and send him to the Failippines!”

          So your kid can support the whole parasite family by selling him/her off to become models and be a star either in the pathetic Pinoy entertainment (read brainless) industry or by endorsing products.

          Filipinos buy the products endorsed by good looking half Kano individuals because they believed that if they use the same soap, whitening lotions, shampoos etc, they’d looked like the model endorsing the products! Yep, that is how simplistic their minds work.

          1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
            Pinay Lover Post author

            Another retarded superstition. I rememeber when it was a long day of work and I was heading to the shower to clean off. As I made my way there my wife happened to be on the Skype with her pimps. Her pimps asked “where is he going”. When they found out that I was going to have a shower they were freaking out “oh no…isn’t it night time there now? That’s bad! It’s going to kill him! Oh no!!!”

            That’s when I started realizing the mental capacity of these people. They really are that stupid.

          2. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

            I fint the leave your kid behind thing interesting, that happened with me also kind of.
            Its like taking my daughter to America was off the table unless they were the nes doing it. Well naturally they used my daughter as blackmail to get a petition started which I did not comply to.

            Anyway, they have this weird idea that you somehow don’t give a shit about your son or daughter and they are best left with them. WTF?
            “Just let us keep her” they would say. Keep her in the Philippines, keep her in some state in the US , but keep her to themselves. I presume so they can walk around with a half white kid flaunting them to everyone. ( I have seen this with other filipinos). Doesn’t have to be half white either, could be any other race, but they have this colonially induced fixation that to have white in your family makes you “special”.

            These people act like cunts to one another anyway, have you ever seen one with even a little authority and how they treat someone below them? Like for example the way a supervisor treats an employee? LOL hilarious and like DIRT!

            Anyway, there is some kind of mental illness there I have come to terms with that.

          3. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
            Pinay Lover Post author

            “Well naturally they used my daughter as blackmail to get a petition started which I did not comply to.”

            Holy shit, that freakin made my heart leep. Now that I think of it, that is probably EXACTLY what their plan was. They wanted my wife to have our kid, take him away, and then use him as blackmail, which makes me loose that much more respect for these parasites. And I have to welcome the mother in my house for 3 months? Fucking hell, this is going to be the worst 3 months of my life!

  5. Profile gravatar of vinzz

    All this stories really confirm all my toughs.
    My case looks less hard than many things wich happened to people here.
    I know It’s because my wife has a really small family (mother , a sister and one nephew)
    Anyway, mee too i spent too much in this country.

    First i helped the mother of my wife, but i noticed any amount i will provide, she will be allways broke …
    Gambling, lending to others people.
    At the beginning i helped some cousins too by 1000 pesos this, 2000 there but it was allways lost but at least i knew it at the time i let the money.
    The way i find to get tranquility was to leave them mess together. For exemple few times when someone asked money, i told it’s okay but i remove from the help of the mother & i told her :”your money is borrowed to this one but don’t worry, he will refund to you next month”.
    And of course everybody here understand what happened , instead of owing money to me, they owe to the mother of my wife and almost never refund.

    Even if my wife is typical stuborn filippina, she cannot accept to be gulled too many times : To some who asked money, i saw her refusing many times arguing, than what she lend before hasn’t never refunded.
    It seems she has autorithy over the cousins & argues she never borowed nothing to the few aunts working abroad unlike many others.

    But i did big bullshits too.
    I paid to expand the property of my mother’s wife house & payed for the renovation of this house wich is almost nice now. I know i will never see this investment back because the sister will claim a part of this house one day too.

    I bought a bike for when we go there but it’s used by the cousins & guess who pays the tires, gasoline ?

    What make most crazy is the laziness of this people, my wife included.
    I was ready to invest there, my wife and the sister seem to be educated (the sister hold a degree in hotel management i financed myself …) so i planned to invest and let them manage the businees but it’ obvious the both of them don’t have the mentality to focus on something seriously .
    The sister is in dubai now with a job in this field and she provides for her mother and her son, but she got debt to her aunt to go there and it seem they mess all of them..

    When i think my dream was to have a place to settle in a tropical country, owing a house near the shore, living in a typical house, felling the sea breeze, ready to go to the sea sailing or diving or enjoying motorbike i understand day after day a such thing is impossible when im surrounded by people of this kind.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      I’d recommend you retire in the Caribbean if you’re close, thats my plan. Originally i was going to buy some property here in hopes of retiring within the next 25 years. But after living here, i know better, this country is just not a place i’d recommend retiring. You’d have to become a her,it to live in peace.

        1. Profile gravatar of vinzz

          You are right,
          One day i met a swiss guy who built a nice house overlooking cliffs on a nice island who explained me exactly the same thing : He had to live here like an hermit to be quiet because everybody made rumors about him.
          As it was my firsts days int he philippines i barely trusted him but i undestand now…