When I was in my late 20’s I was working 2 jobs and rarely available to do anything outside of that. It was eat, shit work and sleep every day. Anyhow, my only option during that period to make myself available and open to a girl was internet dating, so I figured “what the hell might as well give it a go” and signed up to a free site to see what I’d lure in. That’s when I was first introduced to a Filipina. She txt me out of the blue one night while I was sitting on the toilet. From that day forward I had kept in contact with her for weeks, months and then finally visited her in a city a ferry and long drive away. Took me about 8 hours to get there but I felt it was worth it. I met her and liked her immediately since I THOUGHT I knew her and what her life was like. Little did I know that she was just another Pinoy debt slave who was probably going nowhere with her life since she was more than likely financially robbed by her family.
The “culture” didn’t make sense to me then and still doesn’t now. I used to joke about how she was just a babysitter forking over half her pay check to the family and living like a teenager in Mom and Dad’s (employers) basement. Little did I know, this was nothing to joke about, this was their “culture”. Be a subservient slave to your masters (parents) come to a 1st world country and then continue being a subservient slave, forking over your future to suit the dictatorial family back at home.
Eventually I dated more Filipino’s because I liked their tanned skin, the bodies, and their “old fashioned” way and what I thought was family values. Now here I am several years later committed to one with offspring and discovering the “values” of these people and how WRONG I was. That’s when I decided to write the top facades of Filipino culture.
The façade of Philippines culture
DOWN TO EARTH
FACADE: Call me naive, ignorant, delusional, I don’t care, when I first experienced Filipina’s and Dating I thought of them as down to earth and knowledgeable. I thought they had this vast knowledge I didn’t know about since they lived in a poverty stricken country and experienced the hard life. I had many other friends from poor countries who had knowledge I could respect and admire which earned them friendship from me. I thought to myself that Filipino’s would most likely have similar values and knowledge. Because of the language barrier and (from my experience) the lack of words to describe things articulately, I figured they probably just lacked the words to express a lot of the things they knew. I figured someday I’d learn more and gain respect for the country and its people. I also thought they weren’t very materialistic! I figured they had good money handling skills and could easily resist temptations. I also thought they could see through bullshit and had the mental capacity to read between the lines with propaganda and subliminal media hype. I had this belief that they didn’t watch much TV and disregarded the lies and fakeness and stuck to their core, innate human values.
TRUTH: I’ve had friends from other countries, some from 3rd worlds who were pretty well informed and down to earth. They had good values and were not materialistic. They could resist products and useless items since they LEARNED from the hard life in their home country. What about Filipino’s? The truth with my experience with Filipino’s is that MOST of them value materials, mindless shows, throwing money away like they are rich, are easily persuaded, gullible like children, did not learn from being poor, and did not have this vast knowledge I was expecting. Most of their “knowledge” is superstitions and God fearing bullshit with no logic or rational thinking. I discovered they don’t have critical thinking brains and will fight tooth and nail to make sure they are always right no matter how fucking wrong they are. So, my conclusion from experiencing my wife CONSTENTALY threatening me when she doesn’t get her way and constantly playing victim and blaming, I realized I am dealing with merely a child brained adult and she and many other Filipino’s are far from down to earth.
FAÇADE: This was one of the MAIN reasons I wanted a Filipina over Western women. I saw all the divorces here and had many friends during my childhood with either a single mom or split parents taking turns with the child. Seeing all this throughout my childhood into my adulthood, and me, being raised by my married loving parents, it was essential for me to keep that bond and high value of marriage and family going. I didn’t want to be just another divorced couple down the road. After talking to many Filipina women and finding out that most of them came from “close” families with Mom and Dad present I thought of the Philippines as one of the best places for family values. I figured the kids were well treated, respected and provided for by their guardians regardless of their situation. I thought family there treated each other with decency and respect since, in a country with so much government corruption, all you have is yourself and your “loved” ones to depend on, why not respect and help one another? So, with all these beliefs implanted in my brain, I was certain this was the type of women I wanted to embrace!
TRUTH: The fact is, there aren’t any divorces in the Philippines because of Catholic Religion, there are only annulments which by dictionary definition is, ”a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void”. Many won’t go through with annulments because of their Catholic religious beliefs so you end up with shitty couples raising shitty kids.
It is also impossible for women to survive without a man in the picture, so if she ends up having kids with a man and he is an abusive bastard, she’s pretty much stuck with him. If he leaves, there is no court system to protect a single mom. No social checks, no child support, no NOTHING. So what kind of COMMON, and I mean COMMON marriages do you see in the Philippines? Cheating husbands creating offspring with their affairs while their wives just allow it, and apparently there is no shame in this, it’s just another bullshit excuse with the phrase, “It’s just like that in the Philippines, it’s our culture!” like we have all heard before.
To top it off, the common, and again, I MEAN COMMON married couple have dozens of kid’s they can’t afford. How do you think a household full of kid’s with no money and little food is going to go for the parents taking care of them? You get the picture….endless fights, cheating by the men, drinking, major depression, physical abuse towards the kids, and so on. Every old picture I see of my wife’s parents is them with this blank, stressed, and depressing look on their face.
Speaking of physical abuse, I know first-hand that it happens because my wife told me stories. They are fucking old school there, hitting their kids with bamboo sticks, wooden spoons, you name it. It’s another part of “the culture” that you don’t hear about. This would explain why many of the children are so damn submissive and compliant with their parents, never questioning and only OBEYING orders. And do they grow out of this? Nope…the majority serve their masters like slaves without question for the rest of their petty lives because “it’s the Philippines culture!”
Another thing I know first-hand is that there are a lot of murders there and families cheat and steal from each other. My wife even told me her and her sister, when they were little, used to take money out of Dad’s pocket. Great family values hey? I remember way back, sending a box of stuff to her parents and all of her family members pillaged through, taking what they wanted without question when they were meant to be for her parents. Apparently many of them do this…it’s just one big free for all where they are pushing and fighting for their useless items.
And on the topic of murder, my wife’s Aunt’s husband got murdered and he was white, with money. Now, his place was not ransacked and not a dime was taken. It’s pretty obvious it was a set up by the Aunt for money, since she was having an affair (another demonstration of happy marriage in the PI). This guy had a good pension plan and money, and if someone else killed him, what did they have to gain if they stole NOTHING from his house? Her own Son thinks she set his Dad up, so what does that tell you? And what did she do with all the money you ask? Well, she spent it on herself and spent it on her “investments”, which were my wife, and her siblings to go to school. I think this had a dual purpose for her to look like this generous, giving, loving Aunt AND to get free money from my wife and her siblings when they went abroad. All this done with blood money taken from her husband WHO WORKED ALL HIS LIFE AS AN ENGINEER AND DESERVED IT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE!
And what disgusts me is the praise my wife and her sister give this horrid women. They are so bloody gullible it’s not funny! So with all this in mind, you get the picture of what REAL Filipino family values can be like, not to mention all the dumb OFW’s I see here racking up debt and giving all their money away to the demanding, dictatorial family back home.
PARADES, CELEBRATIONS and RELIGION:
FAÇADE: This is the one thing my Wife brought up when I asked her, “Tell me what the good things about your country are other than the tropical weather and nice beaches?” She told me the celebrations and all the festivals they have. I imagined these fun parties, like the EDM dance parties that I used to go to when I was in my early 20’s, but without the hard drugs! She told me there were big meals and great festive parties, neighbors and family would have. She said that Christmas celebration would start as early as September and New Year’s was one of the most festive times in the Philippines. A co-worker mentioned that they celebrate a prophet from the bible just about every month too, parading through the streets, commending their “saviors”. This all sounded fun and innocent to me. I figured religion (although I’m not religious) played an important role in their lives and they abided by the 10 commandments and honored that. Boy, was I freaking wrong!
TRUTH: They parade through the streets early in the morning on Sundays and wake everybody up who are trying to sleep. They not only blow limbs up from all the fireworks but they waste shitloads of cash on this just to have fun for one day. Large amounts of money is spent on food as well leaving them totally broke the next day….or more like the next week! LOL. “Shit, we have no food left and no money cause we spent it on those fireworks and food, what can we do?” They break all the 10 commandments, lying, cheating, murdering, denying, envious etc. From what I’ve researched, their parties are noisy as hell and never stop. So this being said, that part of the culture sounds unappealing.
TRUTH: I don’t think I need to write a Façade on this one, it’s pretty evident that Philippines food is the LEAST recognized amongst the Asian countries. Just look for yourself at the pictures and you get the idea. Chicken feet, fish heads, pigs, it’s all dirty animals and dirty animal parts. All the meals from my experience, look pretty bland. They have this abundance of great produce, yet they rarely eat it. Instead they eat shitty food that isn’t very nutritious.
So, I would write more on this topic, but I can’t name any other facades off the top of my head. The rest of the bullshit is evident. The government is corrupt. The streets are littered, the cities are heavily polluted including the villages, contaminating water, drains, soil etc. Taxes are high and social systems are low. Maternity ward is busiest place in the whole world (which is sad considering these are kid’s being brought into such a messed up country). Filipino’s have an average IQ of 86. The education system is very poor. They celebrate SPANISH culture and rarely do you hear anything commending their TRUE NATIVE culture, which is SAD. They scream, “Pinoy Pride” while all this is going on in the country which makes them look that much more SAD. They are commonly money wasters. With my experience, 8 out of 10 of them are complete money morons and will probably retire with NOTHING. They pride themselves on freeloading without feeling shame because “well, it’s our culture!” and you never hear them criticize their own country because they are simply in denial.
So what have I learned from the culture? DENIAL, ILLUSIONS, CHEATING, FREELOADING, BACK STABBING, RELIGIOUS NUTS WHO DON’T ABIDE BY THE BIBLE, PROCREATING LIKE ROACHES AND AT THE TOP OF THE LIST, OBSESSED WITH MONEY AND USELESS MATERIALS.
I rest my case.Published in