The Psychology of Narcissism

In the age of social media likes and selfie sticks, you often hear the term “narcissist” being thrown around. It’s a loose term but it’s often defined by psychologists as having an “inflated grandiose self-image.” Sound familiar?

Narcissism is very much a spectrum – ranging from certain personality traits to a full-whack narcissistic personality disorder. Traits can vary, so just because some of this might sound familiar, it’s no cause for concern. But narcissists tend to have a high opinion of themselves, with a skewed sense of empathy, an unfounded sense of entitlement and a constant need for attention and admiration.

We can all be guilty of having moments of self-absorption, but is it possible you could be a narcissist? Check out this video by TED-Ed that gives an animated overview of this psychological quirk and how you can truly spot a narcissist.


Published in Narcissism


  1. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    They self-implode –
    If they get a bit of cash they want to show it off. That spells a nail in the coffin as the Filipinos love to gossip.
    Then the family also wants a bit of the action.
    All this greed … oops need spells one thing
    either the foreigner with half a brain will leave or he will slowly get sucked off two ways ….
    one way as you know and the other way via the bank account
    and when the monetary oxygen supply runs out …so do the Filipino
    OUT THE FUCKING DOOR they pile …
    they will run and then the stupid Filipina will do the same again and again

    1. meet someone
    2. ego gets in way – post the crap out of the “gifts” on their fb for all the family and friends to see
    (wheres my gift – as those fuckers say)
    3. either she or family will bleed the guy dry
    4. breakup

    ……if only they did what a small percent do and behave themselves
    then they might be living in California or wherever and not spending a life surrounded
    by outdated iphones, pads, hangovers and photos of what once was

    stupid fucks.

    1. Profile gravatar of djbuett

      amen..touche’ on all counts…baffling stupidity…if the posturing girl has an once of wisdom and the ability to look forward to say, 6 months down the road they could be in the place of their dreams..then they would have more leverage to act out…narissism, controlling families, and as Johnny says: “sociopaths” is a lethal combo….

    2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      “They will run and then the stupid Filipina will do the same again and again
      1. meet someone
      2. ego gets in way – post the crap out of the “gifts” on their fb for all the family and friends to see
      (wheres my gift – as those fuckers say)
      3. either she or family will bleed the guy dry
      4. breakup”

      Rinse and repeat!! A thousands likes FHPS!! Couldn’t agree more! 🙂

    3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      If you ask for a gift, it’s no longer a gift.
      A gift is usually unforeseen until the moment it’s given.
      asking for a gift is, in most cases, pathetic in my opinion.

      1. Profile gravatar of


        ” asking for a gift is, in most cases, pathetic in my opinion.”

        Agreed. To add more its a lack of honor and proud. But where can you find it here? Personally never asked and (God will) will never asked anybody for it. Dont even like to ask anybody for anything.

        1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB Post author

          Yeah, I really feel a much larger sense of dignity and self-respect when I get myself out of the problems or situations that I got myself into. Let’s face it, we all make wrong, selfish, unwise decisions once in a while. And there have certainly been times in my life when I had to ask someone for help. But it certainly wasn’t a fuckin’ stranger or person I didn’t know very well.

          I’ve always helped friends and family in their times of need. Those are the ones I go to for help if/when I need it.

          But as I’ve grown older and wiser, I need not ask people for help. Because of experience and learning lessons, I don’t get myself into situations that put me in the position of needing help from others. It’s called discipline. Most people develop it.

          I don’t see much discipline at all in Philippines, regardless of age and experience.

        2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB Post author

          My first taste of someone asking for money was just about a week after I first arrived in Philippines. My partner’s uncle solicited me for money so he could finish the construction of his house. I had only just met him a few hours before! Fucking SHAMELESS!!! Why start something if you don’t have the means to finish it???

          1. Profile gravatar of Mike

            I know what you mean. I walked into a store once to buy a soft drink, first time in that store. Got my drink and went up to the counter and paid. First thing the pinay behind the counter asked? “Will you buy me a cellphone?” Then when I told her I did not have money for that, the next thing she said” You can give me yours then.” Never met this girl before and was never told her name.

      2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB Post author

        How many times do you hear them ask for a gift then say “joke” afterward?
        You know they were not really joking, they just say that in a pathetic, feeble attempt to cover their ass. They know it’s indecent, but they say it anyway, then say “joke” to free themselves of shame.

        1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

          Ah yes, that “joke lang”. Of course if you give, it’s heartily accepted. You’d be lucky to get a thank you!

          Flip greed is a bottomless pit. 2-3 years ago, I had my property in the city surveyed, but I was in a rush, so did not shop around for a cheaper surveyor.

          I knew I was being charged the “skin tax”. After the job was done, the surveyor had the hide to ask me for a fucking tip!!!!! Then both the surveyor and the middle man had the temerity to hand me an envelope asking me to donate for their Christmas party!

          1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

            We had the fire department ask for a christmas party donation while they were doing their fire inspection for us.
            While we were waiting for them to sign off on our place, which we would not be able to operate without, they asked for a “donation”. WTF!

          2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            Well Johnny, the low life surveyor’s middle man even had the hide to chase me all over FB, via my Aunt’s FB reminding me of my “donation” for their xmas party! I was already back in Oz. Like hell I’d give them any more than what the lowlife asswipes already got off me!

  2. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    Flipflops always post pictures of themselves in posh places. Beach resorts. Restaurants. Hotels. But you can tell straight away that a kano paid for the little princess who cropped the paying kanos out of all the photos.

    1. Profile gravatar of FLIPmonkey


      ROFLMAO this is very true. Monkeys post anything on social media. My grandfather has to pay for everything because he is white. It’s always the white guy who has to pay for everything in the PH.

      1. Profile gravatar of Denmark2

        There’s a previous post here about lunch and how some are “scammed” into paying the bill for the whole family.
        You’re right by saying “it’s always the white guy who has to pay”.
        Tried it a few times, but mostly okay with that, but once I really got so p****d that I walked out, not paying.
        I’ll make a post on that for sharing, because there was some other issues combining that lunch and those FlipFlops involved.

        1. Profile gravatar of djbuett

          that was probably me “Stupid Lunch 1 and 2″….I’d love to hear your “I walked out” story and the aftermath….had only been in the country a few weeks and was leaving to go home the next day, and had had a pretty good time up til then…but still, if I had to do it over…tak (grandmother was Norewegian)

          1. Profile gravatar of Mike

            The gang at PFB would like to invite you to lunch or dinner. We always look forward to a good, free meal.

  3. Profile gravatar of djbuett

    Some great quotes: “Narcissistic partners can be dishonest or unfaithful…”

    “they tell people who try to help them that they are wrong”…never a “let’s discuss this” moment as in an explanation has to why you think I am wrong..just “you are wrong”, or “you don’t understand”…well ok then..fuck…help me to understand… dialogue, no discussion, no growth…just stalemate and silence…

    what is helpful: “honest reflection on their own behavior and caring for others”…just last night a buddy of mine forwarded the link of his girlfriends “hot” cousin in Davao….stunningly stupid looking selfies of a girl with a very unattractive face and meaty thighs……hot?…now, if Miss Meaty Thighs and So So Face had photographs of her with her family, pictures of scenery and or village scenes where she was not the center of attention, then she may have gotten a friend request…but when the first word of description from my well meaning friend is “hot” and the second thing is “available for an American”…strike two…stupid unattractive selfies on your facebook?..strike three you’re out!

    about the self esteem movement..Back when I was a self esteem…I mean science teacher in the 80s here stateside it was the topic we all were forced to deal with…it was the beginning of the end of public instruction here….it was all about how you felt about yourself…I still remember a cartoon on the back of a US News and World Report magazine that showed the student kissing his own reflection in the mirror only to see that in the mirror he is wearing a dunce cap…yup…I now run a service business and still get the shakes when I drive by a school….

    1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

      One important thing to understand with narcissism is that they are not actually in love with themselves in a classic sense. They are “hollow”, which means that this “self-love” is not “resting in themselves”, and secure.

      Hence they have an innate insecurity which means they are always craving More adoration/adolation, they are never “filled-up”. This can lead to frantic and frustrated attempts to fill this ever-burning need. Usually they are themselves ignorant of their own disposition.

      Many tend to forget that Narcissus was Not in love with himself, but in his own “self-image”, which is a important distinction!

      Even though there is an inherent factor the Environment can play an important part. Societies like the USA have, by their worship of indivindualism been promoting narcissistic traits in people’s attitudes, but this in itself will not create “fully narcissistic individuals”, to Acheive this you need the presence of an “unhealthy” environment in early childhood, or there may be inborn traits in the family.

      But the development of ever more narcissistic attitudes in the population will not contribute to improve those who are actual narcissists.

      I would presume that you would find more tolerance for this trait in the younger Phil generation than in the older one. Surely many disorders are present in the Phil population, but I’m not so sure that the most prevalent one is narcissism, but then again, I may be wrong?

  4. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    I just LOOOOOVVVEEEE! that smug look on Trump’s face!! – classic NPD smug smile. ! 🙂

    “just last night a buddy of mine forwarded the link of his girlfriends “hot” cousin in Davao….stunningly stupid looking selfies of a girl with a very unattractive face and meaty thighs……hot?”

    Yeah, it really amazes me how many (usually) Kanos describe some Pinays as “hot”, but to many of us, the “hot” girl looked nothing but primates in jeans and t-shirts. And that meaty thighs… by the time she’s 25 years or more, she will be called “thunder thighs!” 🙂

    I honestly think FB doubles up as a dating site. There is one called “Philippines Expats” or something along that line. Supposed to be FOR expats, but has been infiltrated by many Pinays and Pinoys (including ladyboys)), many evidently looking for dates, displaying their ass-ets . Some just outright states that they’re looking for Kanos to marry! Some of my married Kano friends have been approached and outright offered a “relationship”, despite their profiles clearly stating “married”.

  5. Profile gravatar of Attila

    Infiltrated is an understatement. They are piranhas! My theory is that it will just get worst. Every year 2 millions added to the population to the Philippines that means more Filipinas are out for the hunt for white foreigners. The navy is gone and it seems there won’t be any leisure time off for navy personnel anytime soon. My wife’s aunt married this way in Olangapo where she was working in a Pizzeria. I talked to her and she admitted that she would have a difficult time today to find a marriage material white dude today. She live4s in North Caroline and she seems to be happy with her retired husband. She was able to get rid of the culture also. My wife thinks of her a s Kana and not as a Filipina. It was simple back then and better quality for serious pinays. I was reading an article about US Navy ships not allowing anyone to get off the ship out of fear of violence after the transgender incident. They received death threats and I believe they just go to Guam now to party. Now add the declining number of whites to this equation and you you see why Filipinas are just becoming more desperate. I also nmoticed that being married for many Filipinas is not a problem. They would happily be a kirida or one of the many kiridas of a white foreigner. There is documentary called a “Kano: An American and His Harem (2010) that tackles this phenomenon.

          1. Profile gravatar of G. Hueb
            G. Hueb

            I loved Perth, I agree with you on the rest though. I spent two years on Guam and I liked it, the diving was great, however most of the Chomoron women are really fat, Guamanians are the highest per capita consumers of Spam in the world, so not a good port of call for a battle group of sex starved sailors

          2. Profile gravatar of Mike

            Went to Sydney, Hobart and Perth. It just seemed like the people in Perth were no where as friendly as the rest of the country was. They tended to be more stuck up.

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      “Infiltrated is an understatement. They are piranhas!”

      Attila, I was being kind! 🙂 And now that the Kanos have become a rare commodity, Pinays turn to Koreans and Japanese, mostly as mistresses because many of these men are married back home. Again, pity the children who were born with these unions. Fingers crossed the “Daddy” will keep supplying the money. Sadly, so many Daddies eventually disappear from their lives.

      1. Profile gravatar of Attila

        That’s what my wife was telling me that for the most part only whites and some Japanese marry Filipinas. Now they are stuck with Filipino men it seems no more East meets West for most of them.

        1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

          To be honest Attila, I have met very few Filipinas in our subdivision who were actually married to these Japs and Koreans. Majority of them are mistresses. I actually wrote an article about them awhile back, because now that most of these women are middle aged, they are scrambling to find another man, any man who could provide to marry.

          A friend of my shits for brains Aunt was told – not asked – told! by her Jap lover that he wanted her 18 year old niece to be his new mistress. In return for her consent, Mr. Jap will still keep the money flowing to the Aunt as well as keep the 18 year old as mistress. You are not surprised if I tell you that all parties consented to the arrangement?

          1. Profile gravatar of Attila

            Oh no I’m not surprised at all. I already went through the culture shock boot camp training with my drill sergeant wife. She always makes sure that I’m not out of line and not getting too soft on Filipinos. She loves bursting my bubbles. Your story reminds me of a young Filipna who is living with a retired black dude who pays her education and supports her family. She admitted to my wife that she doesn’t want to have a child with him because she doesn’t want dark baby. He of course doesn’t know about that. She has a secret Aussie who she meets a few times a year on Bantayan island where she brings her entire family with her to have a nice bonding time, you know. Her Aussie pays all the expenses of the entire family. Her black dude thinks she is with her family you know one of those mother and daughter thing. My point is that her family has absolutely no issue with what she is doing as long she supports and treats them. That is in line with Filipino culture and value system.

          2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            “She admitted to my wife that she doesn’t want to have a child with him because she doesn’t want dark baby.”

            But she has no qualms in receiving & spending his money huh? Still, the girl is smart for not wanting to have a baby by the black guy. We all know how racists Filipinos are. The poor child will have a grim future from childhood to old age – and that’s if he/she makes it to old age.

  6. Profile gravatar of tambok

    It is so easy to see this narcissistic behavior. When I walk past a house of say ten people outside it’s hey joe from all, cause they fell secure within the crowd. Get them alone and they are like insecure, useless babies, when a single walks by me no words, only has to be 2 3 or 4 together.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      That group does not just apply to the “hey joe”, it also applies to fighting. Back in QC I had 10 of the fucker on me at once. A pinay went and told them I said something I did not. Wife told them what was said but that did not matter to them. When it was over I took off shirt and had cut mark on back of neck where the pussies used a bolo. I don’t mean this as racial or insult to anyone but there is an old saying in the states “Two on one is nigger fun”. It means the blacks will not fight one on one. I think that also applies to filipinos. But don’t worry, the 10 assholes got their due.

  7. Profile gravatar of Joe Smith
    Joe Smith

    The same year my wife and I got married her older sister tells her she was planning to get married too but couldn’t now because of some stupid superstition about siblings getting married in the same year. Wife and I get married and a few months later, now a new year the older sister texts my wife and demands 20 thousand pesos from us to pay for her wedding. I ask my wife why she is asking us to pay. Wife tells me that older sis and boyfriend had the money but pissed it away. I ask the wife how this is our fault or responsibility and I also gave her the cocked eyebrow and asked “do you really think they had 20k to begin with as they haven’t worked in 10 years and are just squatting in your fathers old hut drinking lambanog or cheap beer all day? Several days later older sis asks us to get her a sarisari store and surprise surprise the amount is 20k. I told the wife to tell her sis to go fuck a goat but she couldn’t bring herself to do so.These people lol.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Guess I’m lucky. My wife has dropped contact with her family as most are pricks, leeches and such. Most she does is call her mom once in a while as her mom stays in one of our houses in Manila, then there is an aunt and uncle. No brothers, sisters, cousins,etc,etc,etc.

  8. Profile gravatar of Joe Smith
    Joe Smith

    My wife realizes what her family is now after the shit they pulled on her. They will not get anymore of her money but that doesn’t stop them from still asking. Mother is still asking for handouts but it is becoming less frequent and younger sister still asks for abortion money several times a year.

  9. Profile gravatar of tambok

    Ya ever notice how they are only self assured when in a crowd. All the hey Joes come when you are already passed and they are in a crowd. No individualism, except women seem to be stronger. It’s the boys especially 5 to 25 yrs old.

  10. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    I met this canuck dude who has houses here in Cebu
    #1 .. The guy builds a house with an adjoining wall. Goes to inspect the work,,, Some flip is banging a hole through the 2 walls. Canuck asks him why???? dunno ….. Canuck patched up up the hole
    #2. Cancuck has house on beach. City mayor builds house in front of him.. Silly Canuck goes to mayors office, raise hell becos there is a law saying no house on 300 meters from beach………………. Mayor and body gaurds show up at silly canuck’s house on beach and start shooting all over the place, BUT ,, silly canuck was sleeping at another house,, his firiend was sleeping in the beach house,, friend takles videos, send videos to canuck emabssy who sends them to abnoy aquino…. aquino fones mayor and tells mayor not to shoot at 4 ners houses again.
    Frig,, the way he told the story i was laughing all the time
    pixar could not make this stuff up