The Sherlock Holmes in Me is Putting Clues Together

Having escaped the Philippines single and having only been fleeced for about $500 I feel blessed.  The girl was too young, stupid and now as it turns out, was totally manipulated by Fat Auntie who I was later to find out owns and runs an Internet Cafe, bought and paid for by her assembly line of old, white, rich (comparatively speaking)  American husbands (for her daughters and nieces). 

The latest count I think  (ol’ Sherlock has discovered Facebook!) is 5.  Well Sherlock also began to wonder about the family and has pieced together a few deductions.  This girl was the middle of three children.  The parents don’t work (of course).  The oldest is a boy turned er…cross gender transvestite works at a call center.  The youngest is an absolutely stunning girl from the barrio that wins those silly beauty contests and is by far the prettiest girl around.  The family has “taken her in out the goodness of their hearts”…Hmmm Sherlock thinks…Obviously good looking.  

Being groomed for one of Fat Aunties Great White Man experiments no doubt.  Of course they couldn’t have adopted a buck toothed no prospects fatty.  And the boy…er girl.  I have not read about the gender confusion issue here.  Maybe it is here and I have just missed it.  Some would say the obviously passive emotionally distant father is to blame.  Sherlock deduces it might be something more sinister. 

What if his/her gender confusion lies in the possibility that he feels guilty he has been born a boy and cannot possibly “bring home the foreign man bacon”?  Holmes decides to ponder this over some cocaine or perhaps a visit to the opium den will provide some enlightenment.

Published in Common Discourtesy, Cultural Rudeness, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of G. Hueb
    G. Hueb

    I was dating a girl that worked at a restaurant just outside the main gate in Subic, she was staying with her aunt and uncle who worked on base, they were also watching two of their grandsons who’s parents were working overseas somewhere I don’t remember. One of the them was homely and long faced and the other one was light skinned and cute. They were always calling the homely boy panget and saying he was going to be a jeepney or tricycle driver when he grew up, and the other boy they called pogi and he was going to be a doctor or lawyer. I just remember the look of defeat on the face of panget, it really bothered me and I’ve never forgotten it, and he wasn’t even my relation. But who knows, my dad used to call me the village idiot and I turned out okay.

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      Well, my bakla cousin is openly called that: Bakla or bading. And seemed to accept it. Well I supposed what can you do, especially if you’re only a kid?

  2. Profile gravatar of Tacitus

    Just goes to show you how bigoted and racist these ignorant people are. And to make matters worse, it’s bigotry and racism AGAINST THEIR OWN KIND!!! What does that kind of behaviour say about the sick mentality of these people when they have that kind of self-loathing!?!? You treat your fellow Philippinos like shit, what does that say about what you think of yourself!?!? DISGUSTING!!!

    And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, those Philippinos who work and live overseas are just as bad IF NOT WORSE because they think they’re better! But the truth is ONCE a pinoy, ALWAYS a pinoy!!!!! A leopard can’t change it’s spots or in the Philippinos’ case, bleaching your asshole doesn’t make you better. Bigotry, racism, self-loathing is in a Philippino’s nature.

  3. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    “Of course they couldn’t have adopted a buck toothed no prospects fatty” …..hmmmm…beats Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s prose that’s for sure! :). When are you going to publish Stupid Lunch part 3? I can’t wait!

    1. Profile gravatar of djbuett
      djbuett Post author

      well Kalbo….I am already being seduced by a few well meaning friends whose wives/girlfriends have prospects for me….there will most likely be no stupid lunch 3 unless I cave and become like the mongrel dog described in proverbs: “as the dog returns to his vomit so is a fool who repeats his folly”….Sherlock has told me this blog is my required reading….heh heh