The Stepford Pinay Cashiers

Where to begin? My first trip to the Philippines was when I was in the navy stationed aboard and LST home ported in San Diego. When going overseas we joked about Okinawa being our home port because that’s where we spent a lot of port calls, taxi service for the marines. So when did hit the Philippines it was for maybe 3 days at a time, sometimes even a week. So fast forward to the present so to speak but minus some years. I arrive here and stay at wife’s house with  her sari sari upfront. The sari sari was my first experience with filipino stupidity but certainly not my last as I would come to find out.

So the little lady would have to restock the store and her favorite place to do that was Puregold on Commonwealth not far from the house. We get a trike and set out for said store, get a cart and commence shopping for the sari sari with me pushing the cart. Lucky Me noodles all flavors, snacks, shampoos and all the items sari sari stores carry, two full carts worth filled to the brim and almost over flowing. Little did I know that the shopping was the easy and fast part considering if you wanted motor oil look in the chip section.

At the end of the line we stand, moving very slow as it appeared rigor mortise was taking hold of the live cashier. Finally! We’re next so I push the first cart up and start unloading it. Then the stupidity hit big time, I still scratch my head wondering WTF when I think of it. Miss Rigor Mortise picked up the first item, Lucky Me chicken flavor noodles. But before she could run it across the scanner she had to sort through the cart and find all the Lucky Me chicken flavor noodles and scan them up at the same time. it was the same for the beef flavor, original flavor and so forth.

If she picked up a string of Pantene shampoo, she had to search both carts to make sure she found ALL the Pantene shampoo that was the same color as the one she held in her hand. And so it went with every product in our two carts. Have never figured out her reasoning so if any of you know please tell me. An HOUR for her to check us out!!! I kind of think the person that was behind us is still getting checked out by Miss Rigor Mortise.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Low Standards


    1. Profile gravatar of omgwtf

      Reason? You’re thinking at all. Stop using your brain stupid.

      Honestly, stop using it. In that case the pinoys are right.

      What happens if you use your car to much? It breaks.
      What happens if you use a drawer to much? It breaks.
      What happens if you read a book to often? It breaks.
      What happens if you use your brain to much? It … you get the point.

      If you want to preserve the value of your brain, do it like you do with baseball cards, leave your brain newly minted at home. Teach this to your children also.

  1. Profile gravatar of Beavis

    The cashier got paid the same amount on her shift, no matter how many customers she sees. So if it takes an hour to check you out, so much the better — fewer customers to deal with. This was very intentional on her part. Customer service is never a consideration.

    The sorting was just her pure laziness. She didn’t want to keep scanning item after item. Sure, it may have been more effort to sort, but I am explaining the Filogic to you.

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      I think it’s lack of judgement and picking up on details. If like items are in quick reach and sight then the method is efficient, but once you have to search, it’s quicker to scan what’s right there. They have no judgement and try to explain things meets with the all too famous blank stare. I’ve given up, even at home. And only very short single sentences may compute, but that is only a maybe.

  2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    I attended SM in San Fernando Pampanga.
    They have two types of Trolleys Orange for small orders and blue for large orders.
    I only needed a few things but needed the Big trolley to help me I used it as a walking frame.
    We all Know where this is heading.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I picked out my 6 or 7 things and returned to the cashiers.
    I noted the blue line was queued back with at least twenty customers waiting while Miss Rigor Mortises were checking purchases.
    I noted the orange lines were empty because they were only for small quick orders.
    I went to the orange line with a blue trolley holding my 6 things.
    BUT SIR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR TROLLEY IS BLUE !!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING GENIUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Did I mention there were 5 empty cashier lines all orange, and not one genius would serve anyone else.
    Supervisors watching, but doing nothing about the queues.
    Half an Hour later after even talking to an Imbecilic Supervisor, I left my blue trolley in the orange line unchecked.
    Now this is my fault I know !!!!!!!!!! I should not expect a Flip to be able too think laterally.
    BLUE IS BLUE AND ORANGE IS ORANGE, forget how many articles there are in the trolley.
    Maybe I should have tried to argue I was colour blind and that I had a orange trolley. Or the supervisor was.maybe all the other customers were wrong and I was right.

  3. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    YES SIR, NO SIR, 3 BAGS FULL SIR —Thats the filipino’s (order takers!)

    The ignorant shits think they know the retail sales code and are nothing more than lazy when you have a problem.

    One time I had a Gaisano person (after i clearly said can you check the price) they rung it through the register and then claimed they couldnt do a refund!

    Ive had mispriced goods and they still claim no obligation to refund. It was clearly marked for 27 pesos and it was put through at 75 pesos and it wasnt until i saw the receipt to work out why the bills were so high i saw this discrepency.


    DONT EVER bother complaining to the business, it will get no where. Why?

    I complained to macdonalds that the home delivery order hadnt arrived – they took it too manila. Thankyou for your feed back and we will take it into account to improve our service. 10 minutes over the 10:30am time breakfast finishes .. sorry sir but breakfast is finished. Well, thats not the fucking point, my home delivery macdonalds was wrong but they want to wipe their hands of it.

    I went to Sony and the staff were all watching TV. They actually shuffled around back and forth as i moved around with eyes GLUED on the TV. I asked can someone help and the guy went through explaining about a camera on sale. Its great, it does this this and that and has this latest sensor, ok, … but .. sir we have no stock! wtf you wasted my time.

    I was so pissed about the staff watching TV and the guy having no stock and no idea about the camera i really wanted i complained to management. All management did was ask what the situation was SO THEY COULD HELP THEMSELVES …. —> NOT ME ==AKA THE CUSTOMER <==== A "normal" caring, concerned, kind business as these filipinos tend to pride themselves on being would have gone – sorry dude, come in, ill have the manager go through your concerns personally and we will look after you to get the product you want. Narp, narda, nope, aint gonna happen in the Philippines because the customer service standards are so, so, so fucking low.

    1. Profile gravatar of Beavis

      Haha, yeah, I know what you mean. One time at a McDonald’s the cashier fucked up my order and in typical Filipino fashion, refused to acknowledge that a mistake was made. So I asked to talk to the manager and of course, in typical Filipino fashion, refused to acknowledge that a mistake was made.

      And in frustration, me forgetting where I was and thinking this is an American franchise, I said “you’re doing it wrong”. Wow, that was a real intelligent remark that is guaranteed to make an impact. Blank stare, of course.

      So I walked away and when I was done with my meal, oooppssss… accidentally made a huge mess. So sorry SIRRRRR.

  4. Profile gravatar of emrys

    yeah I think it’s funny how they get all the things together and then instead of just scanning one item and then hitting x? whatever number, it’s all scanned one at a time. after my first few trips to the store I just pulled it out and sorted it for them so it would go faster.

    I also don’t know why they don’t have the frames that hold bags so they can pack them as they run them through. they just push them off to the side and then package it all after wards. even if they do get a bag person to come. it’s still slow.

    this one time my GF and I were standing in line and the person in front of us had a pretty big load of stuff. no bag people around and it just was piling up. plus the fact that the girl was so slow. so I moved around the other person, grabbed a bag, and decided to show off my junior high bag boy training. the Filipina ahead of us sort of protested at first, but my gf stepped in and distracted her and they got talking. after I her stuff got finished I went and did ours. probably the only time my groceries have been properly bagged. it did get some laughes from the rest of the staff though.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      That settles it!!! I’m moving to your town!! When you go to the store I will make sure I’m in front of you in the check out.

      1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

        I think i’ve yelled this exact quote a number of times while getting groceries myself.. “If you want something done right, ya just gotta do it yourself!”. Of course blank faces incoming

    2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      Always, ALWAYS have to tell them to put bread products in a separate bag. Lays Potato Chips bags are already beat up on the shelf, if you find a passable one they manhandle it at the checkout, I no longer bother buying them.

  5. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    In addition to the cashiers being slow, you also have to contend with the morons who pack your groceries. In a land where through preceded action, those bags would of course have the groceries distributed in such a way as to not overload some bags to the point of breaking – like loading one bag with glass bottles for example. Not so in the land where local genetics excludes the retention or regrowth of brain-cells. Unless directly supervised, the moron-drone bag packers will ALWAYS overload certain bags. It’s like a team conspiracy to piss me off.

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      If your lucky to get or have plastic shopping bags to be packed.
      On SBMA they are saving the fucking Planet with a NO PLASTIC stance.
      Never mind across the river they have a million grubs throwing their plastic and rubbish into the river that flushes through the SBMA affectionately known as SHIT RIVER.
      No we are back in the 50″s with Paper bags. and old boxes.
      Now you want to see real slow service , you come to Subic Bay.
      Re closing the boxes somebody opened up with cello tape. then over loading it if you don’t watch them , that the Incredible Hulk could not lift.
      One box was so heavy I made the prick who loaded it up, whilst I checked out the Australian Wine, carry it too the car.

      1. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
        Phil Doh

        The environmental issue aside, what is it with places like SM and their policy to waste as many plastic bags as possible? It obviously affects their profits. I bought a 12 pack of toilet rolls last week which came in a sturdy plastic wrapping with handle, so what does bagboy do? Wraps a plastic bag around the handle.

      2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

        Went out to have a smoke one time and left the wife with a lot of groceries. Came back and they had packed some of the groceries in a HUGE box that would need two people to carry. I told them they needed to repack it in smaller boxes because I couldn’t carry it. They protested, so did I. They were pissed off at me, I hate they get pissed at you for their own stupidity.

    2. Profile gravatar of

      Hehe when my mother was here and went to the grocery after 3 min watching those people packing her things she just grab the bag from the guy and did it by herself. She cant stand the slow people so instead relax here (she came on vacation) she was getting pissed off on every corner.

      1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
        Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

        Makes me smile to myself. I used to do the same thing. Now, I just make sure that my lovely lady is ahead of me, to direct what is going on. I can’t stand watching these fucking idiots do what they do, so I just think about something else – good stuff – like pretending I’m in a civilized country.

        1. Profile gravatar of

          Its not the worse, the worse is when you are the next in the line or when you are just about to pay and the fuking prayer come Seriously why all those people cant just pray at home or when they have their one hour lunch break.

        2. Profile gravatar of

          The problem is also that nobody complain about the big lines, try to stand in a big line or when cashier is slow in Poland you will hear from the back of the line ”Open a fucking new line” Are you stupid or what” and so on. Here I never heard this. Maybe this is what is needed.

          1. Profile gravatar of omgwtf

            The biggest problem in this country is that there are no problems.

            What we percive as an outrageous and inacceptable problem is here gods will and not to be changed but to be accepted.

            This country thanks to their ignorance fucking perfect, no wonder everyone is proud beeing pinoy.

  6. Profile gravatar of beameup

    At the SM grocery here in Baguio, they have 1 checkstand for “seniors”. This lane regularly gets the large shopping cart overflowing and “granny” is accompanied by an entourage of 10. We all know perfectly well what is really going on here, it’s blatantly obvious they are dragging poor old granny around for that all-important “DISCOUNT”.
    Now, my observations have shown me that this “discount” really is very SMALL. To top it off, the clerks are using a hand-scanner as opposed to the “slide-by” scanners used in 1st World countries. Needless to say, they take their “sweet time” s-l-o-w-l-y checking-out each customer. As well, poor old “granny” takes forever to dig the money out of her purse (it seems that Filipinos HATE to part with pera, and do so RELUCTANTLY).

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      You forgot a few things. They have to see ID from granny then write info down by hand on paper, THEN go find someone to sign it. Now here is what else you forgot. Granny was actually 25 when she first got in line at the checkout and spent 40 years waiting her turn.

  7. Profile gravatar of omgwtf

    Coming from Germany the country of super fast cashiers buying groceries here pisses me everytime of. The supermarkets here are all heavily overstaffed with absolutely incompetent morons. But you cant blame them, humas here arent just cheap but absolutly worthless (see how the treat themselves).

    From an economic point of view you could fire 60% train the rest, double their salaries and have an higher creation of value. But thats to much fucking theory for the antiintelectual pinoy society.

    FUN FACT: Aldi (in USA Trader Joes) cashiers in germany need to scan 3500+ items per hour, maybe more than a cashier here scans in her lifetime.

  8. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    The amazing thing here on the Northern Rivers in Australia , there are three Supermarket check out chicks who are Filipinos
    One is a supervisor.
    I cannot fault them.
    It must be the environment
    I just remembered a fourth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at Big W

  9. Profile gravatar of Big D
    Big D

    I actually know why she did this as it was something that also intrigued me when I lived here for a year. The stupid owners do understand databases. They want all merchandise sorted so they can reconcile what the reports for all transactions are against individual receipts.

    I actually heard the cashier tell me ” The computer gets confused if not sorted”.

    Seriously guys, I’m not making this up.

  10. Profile gravatar of beameup

    Today’s episode through the “senior line” at SM. OK, so there are two small carts in front of me. I’m thinking “this should be a breeze”. I notice “granny” surrounded by 5 teenagers (grandchildren) “helping granny shop for perhaps 25 items. So, we begin checking out and up comes 3 empalaya (not even in a bag). This is a “red flag” as these items have never been weighed and price-tag attached. Now, this little “episode” delays everything by 1/2 HOUR.
    Granny acts “confused” that the scanner needs a bar-code to enter the price. She acts like she is totally IGNORANT of this “new technology”. The 5 teenagers were apparently ignorant of this “new technology” as well, as they seemed to be of absolutely NO VALUE to granny in regards to shopping for groceries. So, everyone is standing around with their thumbs up their ass-hole while the clerk takes their sweet-time getting the bar-code. Meanwhile, I’m listening to this Tagalog bull-shit nonsense going on between SM staff and “granny”. It seems that she is hinting that she should get the gulay for free. UNBELIEVABLE.

  11. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    I try all the time using my Australian Govt, Seniors card.
    You should see the look of horror on the supervisor that has to OK it.
    BUT SIR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    But its worth it to keep on trying just to see their look when I WHIP it out.
    I think I have too much time on my hands,.
    I think I’m going to start breeding FIGHTING SEAGULLS
    They are useless and will fight over anything.
    Ill repopulate the PI with shit hawks when I release the culls into the wild.
    Or trained RATS from my sticky paper.

  12. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Not old enough for the old fart discount yet. But they have the lines for elders and PWD right? So we go and I’ll get in that line. If they say old and PWD I just get out my veterans affairs ID that says I’m service connected.