The Stupid Lunch – Part 2

Here is part 2 of my lunch escapade…for those who did not read part 1, it is nothing complicated except the ordinary fleecing of the foreigner by the love interest’s mother’s side of the family. What got fun was when I returned stateside and befriended the love interests ex, who I believe has become a good friend now. I wrote him a story of my “Stupid Lunch” and here is what he wrote back:

“That is an interesting, and familiar story. Yes, I knew exactly where it was heading, as you started to talk about the lunch. Sadly, that happened to me almost every day that I was there. They were happy to eat at nice restaurants on my dime, but never once offered me a piece of fruit, or a drink…no, wait…on my second day there, I was given a bottle of water. The next day, we went to the supermarket… A massive 2 story grocery store, with a full department store upstairs. We went there so I could buy toys for her young cousins…which I was happy to do. Then, they all started talking among themselves in Tagalog. Next,the girl said “Honey, remember you said you would buy the rice for auntie”, so I said okay. Then, she asked if I would buy another for the other auntie…and then milk and rice and cheese for her mother. Okay, I thought…well, I wanted my girlfriend to eat and be healthy, so why not? Before I knew it, everyone in the entourage was mooching a bag of rice. Sure, no problem, how much could that be? Well, imagine my surprise when I saw that it took two men to lift each bag of rice, as they were 50 kilos each (more than 110 pounds), and I bought 8 of them. MY grocery bill was over $540 US dollars, and I bought a bunch of stuff upstairs in toys, and clothing.

As I was a visitor, in a foreign country, I didn’t get angry at the family, though I continued to stew. I didn’t want to be abandoned, and not be able to get back to the airport, to get home. But it still bothers me, even now, when I think about it. I even have several friends at work who frequently joke about the big bags of rice. Sometimes, I laugh when I remember her parents crawling in the back of the car, and sitting on the rice on the ride back to the compound. I might also point out that while I was at the compound, one of her aunts was giving me the “hard sell” about going to the city hall, and getting married to the girl before I left to come home. I sat in a room full of people (about 15) as they all discussed what I should do. I said that I would come back next month, with my son, and we would get married then. It was important to me that he would be with me. I wasn’t sincere about it, I was just playing the game of self preservation.

On my last night there,the girl and I had hotel vouchers to get massages. I was really looking forward to that, and so was she. As we were walking back to the room, she informed me that everyone was waiting for us (in OUR room) to return, and they were going to take me out for a fun evening of karaoke, food and drinks. We had already eaten a very nice meal in the hotel restaurant, and I certainly wasn’t hungry. I was more than relaxed, and just wanted to enjoy some alone time with my girlfriend, to discuss our future, as this would have been our first real opportunity, but that just wasn’t in the cards for me.
They took me out around midnight, and the whole family was there. Although I had fun, they were the ones who had the great time. About 3 1/2 hours of food and drink (and they kept it coming), and I got slammed with another bill. To add insult to injury, on the way back to the hotel, they stopped to fill the car up with fuel. Guess who paid? Yep, ME. By the way, I also paid to rent the car for the week. So you see, I really felt that I was there more for them, than I was for the girl and ME. Shakedown is the best adjective for my experience, and best adverb for their treatment of me.

When I got to the airport, I had a huge smile on my face (Only the immediate family was there, all of the “hangers on” were conspicuously absent). Everyone thought it was because I had a great time.
No, I had the broadest smile of my life because I was leaving, to go home.
She never knew it, but I had a diamond engagement ring, with me, and I had every intention of proposing to her, while I was there. After the rice incident, I reconsidered. From that point on, I left the ring in the hotel safe. When we were alone together (as I already told you) she barely made eye contact with me. I just felt like I was being taken advantage of.

They all were quick to invite me back to the Philippines, so we could get married. Since I had already provided the funds for her to pay for the passport, as well as meals and travel expenses, to (and back from) the agency, AND the necessary medical examinations, she was basically all set. With no intention to ever return, I smiled and said I would see them all, next month.”

Needless to say he never went back, ended it with the girl, and was kind enough to confirm all I believed had happened to me. As I have already written Sarah about, what was amazing to me is that they just couldn’t resist the chance to fleece me, though I had nothing to do with Fat Auntie, she was the ring leader to be sure. And the girl continued to protect them, tell me they were good people, and that I “misunderstood” her family. I think it was somewhere here on this blog that I read that Filipinos are pathologically dedicated to their extended families….yup…

Published in Cultural Rudeness


  1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
    Random Numbers

    My first trip here, I met a number of filipinas that I had chatted with online for dinner and conversation. They almost always had a chaperone or two, one time 4 friends, but I didn’t mind as it was 50-51 pesos to the dollar back then and things were about 40% cheaper than they are today. I remember taking my now ex and 2 of her sisters to Max’s, it cost about 1000 pesos for the 4 of us, US$20 about. Even then I would be lucky to feed the 4 of us at McDonald’s for that. But I never had someone try to do to me what happened to you or her previous boyfriend.

    The closest I came was when this older pinay I met at Robinson’s in Malate convinced me to go to her house to meet her 2 younger sisters who she said were both nurses. Funny thing was, when I showed up, neither sister was there. I didn’t have any food or gifts with me, I’m a cheap-ass that way, so just out my fare and time. Even funnier, some guy, uncle I guess, was saying how I should show up the next day for the fiesta. Oh, and that I should bring him a bottle of top-shelf liquor. Yeah, right, the girls I was supposed to meet aren’t even there and you want me to buy you expensive liquor? Good luck with that!

    1. Profile gravatar of FilamboredinthePH

      Oh god you reminded me of Max’s. I JUST CAN’T see how that business is viable in this economy. All of the food is identical to your standard fare at any cheap pinoy eatery/carenderia/Mang inasal’s whatever except everything there costs 2.5x more. A plate with a scoop of rice, piece of fried chicken, and some odd side costs almost P300. WTF. That’s more or less P100 anywhere else and yet everyone here absolutely fills that place to the brim daily.

        1. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
          Phil Doh

          Watch how many customers are taking pictures in there, ready to go on facebook and show off to their friends – “Look we can afford to eat in Max’s”. Doesn’t matter they can buy the same slop for quarter of the price in carenderias. It’s all about the boast.

      1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
        Random Numbers

        Max’s was a lot cheaper back then. I think I have been to Max’s maybe 2 times the past 10 years, because I agree that it is overpriced for the food you get. Plus, the chicken was dry the last time, why pay more for dried out chicken?

  2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    DJ, the aunt was definitely the brains behind that attempt to get you to marry the niece. In case you don’t know, Filipinas all over the world “sell” their single relatives to foreign men. Example, you work in a factory or grocery store together, she finds out you’re single or about to be single, she’d approach you with a photo of a niece or sister or sister in law and convince you to write to her, with a “she’s a good Christian girl’ sales talk.

    Random, my Mum’s family did that to me too. After going back to the RP for holidays, I stayed at Ass-wipe uncle since he seemed nice. BUT every time they’d go to the city, they would convince me that it was a good idea to go with them, “nothing to do here” (there’s a nice beach there). On the way to the city, they would drop hints that they’re hungry, so Jollibee for breakfast (I detest all Jollibee food!) coz that was their preference, then in the city, they’d choose the fanciest restaurant, order lots of food, including take out for their maid. And they low lifes never offered a centavo!! On the way back to the province, they would asked me to fill their car, (I obliged) $40 for a full tank! Ass wipe always made sure he filled the tank since I would be paying. So in one day alone, I would have spent $200 easy for the low life uncle and his evil demon wife.

    And each time I leave, I was expected to give them money for my stay with them, about $200 for the 2-4 week’s stay and I did not even stay with them all the time! It would have been cheaper and more comfortable for me to stay at a hotel. The evil demon wife never respected my privacy. Because they allowed me to use their main bedroom, she felt it was OK to barge in at 6am without knocking on the door first see if I was still asleep!

    After about 3 years of doing this, Auntie from the city mortgaged her house to me, which was across ass-wipe’s house (which was paid for by Mum). That was my excuse to move to Auntie’s house, a much more friendlier and easier environment. However, evil demon wife fought with my Aunt, accusing her of brain washing me as the reason for my moving out. DUH! The bitch could not accept that it was my decision because I felt used and abused! In the end, nothing could save them from falling out with me. Because of their stupidity and greed, the rest of the family don’t talk to them anymore. Close family ties huh? excuse me while I go puke.

    1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

      I can so relate to what you are saying Sarah but am wise to it now. Where my wife is from there really is not much to do other than go to the markets. Often we would be sitting around doing nothing all day. The Lola would ask us if we would like to go to the markets to which I would often reply no as we dont need anything. They would say come for a ride because you are bored, come have a look around. So I would tag along to the market and just sit in the van sweating away in the heat, maybe buy a coke and give 10 peso to the odd child beggar. But as we go home they would put diesel in the van and guess who they would turn to to pay. Yup, me. Hang on how come I have to pay for fuel when you were going already and I did not even want to come in the first place? The first time I arrived there I was asked if I would like a coffee. Yes that would be nice I replied only to have them say “have you got 50 peso I will go to Sorry Sorry store and get some”. I have to laugh quietly to myself when they ask me how wonderful Philippine hospitality is. There is no hospitality, you pay for everything. I bought 2 adjoining blocks of land, built the Outlaws a house, put the nephew into private school, had a huge white wedding, took everyone to the province and have paid for endless feasts and countless bottles of beer and the only thing I have ever been given was one (yes one) cup of coffee from an uncle.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        We have indeed very similar experiences at getting ripped off by these low life morons, albeit in different ways. But the end result was still the same: we got unwittingly fleeced. Us, who are from the west were underhandedly fleeced by these uncivilized morons.

        1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

          What put me over the edge was after a couple of trips they were charging me 3000 peso to use their van each time I had to go to the airport. I pointed out it is cheaper to catch a cab in New York and was told by an aunty 3k is a bargain as she paid 3k for a taxi 6 years earlier and promised me it is a good deal. So my next trip I get a taxi and it is only 1,100 peso. Also I am there 3 weeks and they want me to chip in 8k for the electric bill. What they did not know is I saw the bill and it is 3k a month and there are 5 houses plugged into that meter. After refusing to pay I go home and Lola kicks my wife out out of the house. Before we were married they would have a feast and not invite my wife (they are all piss poor) but now she is married to me she always gets the first invite to any meal. That is what drove me to buy land and build my own place. I also bought one of those 2 door stainless jeeps for 70k so the father in law picks me up from the airport now. Finally I can go there and stay in my own place, with my own transport and not be bled by these vultures. I give them nothing now. I should do an article on this.

          1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
            Don Quixote

            I had a similar experience, there was a group of eleven of us going to Palawan for a week, we need a van as we had a very early flight down there and had to get to Manila.
            One of the wives organized a van, 6000 peso, as we did not know, So we let her organize things,
            We then decided we needed another van to handle the flow and bags etc, so I organized a van myself, 4500 peso including all the tolls, from Subic to Manila.
            They were even the same make and model car.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            I kept it to myself to see how things panned out.
            Naturally we had to stop half way for food and coffee, the wife who organized everything came and asked for money for the driver, for his meal, that’s when she found out I knew all about her racket when I said loud enough for all to hear , maybe he can take it out of the extra 1500 peso he is charging.
            We got to Terminal 3 and the bitch wanted extra for a tip off us,
            Again why don’t you take it out of the extra money he is charging for the same job,
            The driver had heard this he approached me quietly and you guessed it, he was only getting 4000 peso.
            Now this wife was going on the trip even, she wanted us to pay her basically for helping organize her holiday.
            Since then I watch her like a hawk, my mate her husband is bloody clueless I’m sure. or he just is resigned to the fact, the husband actually paid the driver a tip he was that embarrassed
            The things I could tell him.

    2. Profile gravatar of

      Sarah, sorry about your family problems. I can understand what you went through but I was lucky and nipped it in the bud from the start. That’s not to say that we dont get requests from time to time but we keep away from them most of the time.
      I have been trying to remember what it reminds me of. Finally it came to me. Survivor the tv show, where they all start nice, form alliances, while all the time positioning for the great stab in the back so they can win the prize. We are all trapped in a life long episode of Survivor! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        Thanks Wombat, no I am not sorry. I don’t need untrained animals in my life. Now, they watch from the outside whenever I go back, bringing pasalubongs to Mum’s poorer relatives, minus them! ha, ha. I kept telling them in the past, I don’t tolerate ‘tampo’ and if you try that shit on me, you’re on the outer.

    3. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
      Random Numbers


      The only Jollibee food I really like is their pancakes, and their egg and pancake sandwiches. When I am travelling and can’t cook eggs, I will get the egg and cheese pancake sandwich, sans drink, for 35 pesos. It’s a pretty good deal, cheaper than 2 pancakes, which makes no sense to me. When I am alone and want a quick, cheap meal, spag and yum, it’s only 82 pesos with a drink. If I am with a friend I will only go to Jollibee if asked. Of course, McDonald’s sucks in the RP also. In Taiwan and Hong Kong McDo’s is cheaper and hot, I eat there all the time, but rarely in the RP, they can screw up cheap food, amazing!

    4. Profile gravatar of kalbo

      That’s been exactly my experience in pommie land. A flip at a local cafe kept showing me pictures on her phone of her sister. Kept saying shes a good girl and she can introduce us.

      I asked how old the sister is. 18 she said. As if I’m going to be interested. Anyway the cafe girl never gives up so I don’t go to that place anymore

      Funnily enough that girl told me she came to the UK by quote, using her brain. because she married a guy from the e.u

      Brain? Is that what she calls that furry thing between her legs?

  3. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

    you did it fine…run forrest run……after more visits to my ex GF , they started this game too….Same rice game…I removed all rice sacks and left only 1 there.
    told them ” Your small people 1 sack of rice is enough”
    You had to see the face of them and from my Ex gf….( well it wasnt a funy situation for me)
    Then they suddenly started to talk in Visaya ….i knew it was about me .till someone of the family came to me and said ” Your counting”
    I was thinking….” Hmm I am counting, yes…because I ve paid all the week long ur fucking needs , your food , your Electric bill etc ”
    Then they was going to my GF and told her ” this guy is bad not a good human”
    Started then a bit into having anger with the Flip family….till they came 2 weeks later back to our house and asked me to buy them a pig.
    Nice life…ASk the lord and you shall receive…

    Oh my these people are not good for my sanity at all…

  4. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    DJ, I wonder if your friend (the girl’s ex) was my friend?? 🙂

    See, back in 2008, I had a Kano friend who went to visit his GF in Mindanao. They’ve never met before, so my friend was totally unprepared for the family’s greed.

    The girl insisted on meeting him at the airport. He agreed except she took her whole family with her, a jeepney full! They dropped him at the hotel, waited till he’d showered and took him to feed the whole family! This after a 20 hour flight! All he wanted to do was rest, all the low lifes wanted to do was shop at his expense!

    So after he showered, they went shopping, a jeepney full! Shoes, clothes, toiletries, food! And he paid. To ensure that their ‘prey’ won’t escape, they had one of the girl’s brothers, stand guard outside his hotel room. Why he was even allowed to do that, I have no idea.

    Next day, same story, feed the family at a restaurant, then more shopping. That night, he decided he could not possibly marry that girl, he asked the hotel owner (who must have felt sorry for him) to help him escape. My friend skipped town very early in the morning and flew back to Manila – alone! By 8am, the girl texted him telling him “come back! you have to marry my daughter!”. Yeah right. 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Nik

      there’re supposed to be guards at every hotel. you just tell manager that some certain persons are not welcomed and shouldn’t be treated as your guests anymore. after reading all these losers stories i feel like i came from another planet.. why these people can’t just tell other people that it’s over, no need to come and there will be no more free rice.

      1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

        I am guessing you have never been in this situation. I had a massive fight with my wife in the province, grabbed my bag and walked off down the road. Do you think I could get a taxi or trike? Not a chance. I offered 5k to take me to the next town and was asked “Who are you?” “Why are you here?” “What family are you with?”. No one would give me a lift and I was trapped. And about half an hour later she found me. All they do is ask where the Kano went and they will find you in no time.

        1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

          So true Angel! In most rural areas, going there are usually by invitation only. The moment you arrive on a bus, everyone wanted to know where you’re from, why you’re there, which family you belonged, etc. And gossip spreads fast that there’s a Kano in town.

          There’s also a good chance that the hotel you’re staying with is owned by the girl’s relative. And there’s a good chance that the only transport in and out of that town is owned by the girl’s relatives too! That’s why I commented to DJ about not meeting the girl on her own turf.

          1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

            My sweet pinay wanted to meet on another island. I can see now that she actually were trying to do me a favour!

        2. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
          Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

          I had a girlfriend at one time who lived in a remote Province. I decided to go and live in the “town” with her for a while and see what life in the Province is really like. I already knew that the entire family were lowlife, thieving scum, and had already made my “fuck off and die, then fuck off and die again” position abundantly clear to all.
          My girlfriend had told me before how her father had murdered his brother in a drunken fight, in front of her and two of her siblings, when she was 12 years old. What I didn’t know was that he’d allegedly murdered other people too, and in true Pinoy style had never been arrested or charged, despite the fact that his involvement was apparently tribal knowledge. To cut a long story short, it became apparent to me at one point that I was in enough danger that I should leave the Province.
          It was typhoon season and the airport was closed for months. The only way out was a 10 hour, overnight ferry ride. I couldn’t just up and leave, as that would seem strange. Instead, I had a friend contact me via email (which I “accidentally” allowed my girlfriend to see), telling me that I was needed urgently in Singapore, where I had an office at the time.
          In the end, I left behind a whole heap of valueless possession like clothing to make it look like I was returning, and caught the ferry out of there. The relief as it pulled away from the pier was enormous.
          @Nik – I’m not a person who gets rattled easily. In fact, it’d be fair to say that most people find me very intimidating. That said, I know enough to know when I’m in danger, and when to get the fuck out of a situation. As Angeleyes has suggested, you can’t know what it’s like unless you’ve been in the situation. The Province can be a dangerous place – far more so than Manila, or Cebu if you’re in the wrong company. Unfortunately, the wrong company will most often be the family of the woman you think you’re in love with.

          1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

            The city is no better. Unless you have a motorbike you wont get far. If you manage to walk off quick enough without being followed it wont take long for them to find you. I wouldn’t even bother as my wife has 120 cousins within 500 meters so they will just txt each other and the boys will be out on their motorbikes looking for you and before you know it she will be beside you begging you to come back. Then what are you going to do? No taxi will stop when they surround you and they just wont go away so it is not like you can walk into a motel, book a room and shut the door. They wont threaten you just beg for forgiveness and beg you to come back and will not take no for an answer. Then the rest of your stay will be very uncomfortable. Better to just buy the bag of rice, admit you have been had, learn your lesson and wisen up so it does not happen again.
            Something else to is say you get duped into spending 1000 peso buying everyone lunch, or a big bag of rice, well where I come from thats one packet of cigarettes and I smoke 2 packs a day, 14k a week. So yeah if buying 5k worth of rice restores my sense of security I will do it rather than risk running away. Hell its only 5k.

          2. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

            Hmmm….Very enlightening! This for me is a New and Very interesting angle! I’m not too fond of great cities, an could easily have left for the province with “blue eyes”. Now I know better what to expect, of which I’m thankful! Thanks Fr. Bong Bong! 🙂

          3. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

            Jeezzz, this is Really Something! So, if you enter into a rel. with a pinay and agree to stay with her pamylia in the Province you are potentially walking straight into an actual kidnapping! Crazy!! What a…Amazing Country! 🙂 Obviously malaria and poisenous snakes are least of your worries! 🙂

          4. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            For those of you who’d been to Mactan, what would be your guess of the population there? 10-15 million? How the hell can they cramp so many people in such a small space?

            Grandpa ( Mum’s Dad) was from Mactan island originally. His surname was very common in that island and even in Cebu city that every time I got talking to a taxi driver for instance, one way or another, he was either related to that branch of the family or knew who was!

            When I asked my Aunt about the family surname I started to get the idea of the influence of that family when she started naming big names, shopping center owners, politicians, Doctors, lawyers etc. Of course a fair bit are also dirt poor. But my point is agreeing with Angel that even in the city, you aren’t as safe as you think you are, although your chances are better for getting away. Just your luck that the taxi driver you’ve chosen to pick you up from the airport was the girl’s uncle!

          5. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
            Don Quixote

            Father Bong
            That’s why I live near Subic where the gum leaf mafia is strong, the local bar and resort owners stick together and are connected locally with the Politicians .
            I knew Paul very well too, I have heard that many rumours about the reasons for his death, I gave up trying to unravel them.
            Suffice to say, no one did jack shit about it, apparently they only investigate things if you bring a law suit against someone so they can charge you to investigate.
            It has ruined Blue Rock where it all happened, I don’t care what good spin anyone puts out, the place is dead compared with three years ago..
            I hope it can recover one day, I heard they just got a new lease so they now have time anyway.

          6. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
            Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

            @Don Quixote, Paul was a good guy. I lived in Barrio Barretto for about a year (with the girlfriend from the remote Province), and enjoyed the expat community there – along with the diving, jet-skiing, swimming, etc. I left for reasons which now escape me – and regret it.
            I heard all the rumors about why Paul was shot. Whatever the truth is, the Police barely investigated the matter and his killer is still at large. I’ve learned that it’s just part of the Failipino way of not doing anything.

        3. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

          Sounds like a pretty fool-proof system! These people are indeed professionals! Now I start to understand why so many whiteys succumb to their…wicked ways..

      2. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

        Nik, so think so easy is that ….no its not so easy just when ur locked down in the province…NO ONE will serve u or help you…keep that in ur mind …simply no one ..angeleyes wrote it already…thats the deal…u go into their trap and then they know very good that they have FUCKED u….

        1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

          Absolutely not easy, especially as you don’t speak the language also.

          I used to tell the ex that if he wanted to disappear in the Philippines, I can make him ‘disappear’. Some of these mountain barangays are so remote, you just can’t leave without assistance, without transport. Also bearing in mind that ass-wipe Uncle was senior PNP, I am sure that if he wanted to, he can make me disappear also, but he knows that he will never get away with it because the rest of the family are with me. So yes, it is worth it buying your safety out of there, like Padre Bong-Bong did.

  5. Profile gravatar of Nik

    i still believe it’s kano who is really stupid here. pinoys got their food, drinks and karaoke free of charge, what else do they need? mission is complete.


    seriously? why not just tell them to fuck off? i mean to tell them “to leave your private room” so that you can stay with your girl. never met such spineless person in my life. but at least you were brave enough not to propose her.

    1. Profile gravatar of djbuett
      djbuett Post author

      naive yes..stupid no….gullible/trusting yes….accomplishing a mission at someone else’s expense no…..and yes my friend was certainly spineless about not being able to cast them out of the hotel room he had paid for, but he was taking the high road in a situation where no one else was…..telling them to fuck off…hell yes, and I would say next time but there won’t be one…take care

  6. Profile gravatar of Idiotocracy

    Sad stories all you know but a guy ought to do a little research before going to meet a girl in the Philippines. I read all the horror stories and being forewarned I laid it out before I met my GF. She showed up with a chaperon who refused even a meal although I had them stay at the motel I had rented for the week since I was coming in at like 6 am, too late for check in and wanted a place to shower and rest right away. Next night I invited her two female room mates to dinner with us and that was it pretty much.

    Refused to meet the family, agreed to meet the adopted grandmother who had advised the girl that she should break free from her family and go with me to visit Northern Luzon. After the week long trip checking out the area where we would be living GF went back and I went home. Heard GF broke then news that she had a kano and boy was the family pissed that I wasn’t willing to play the game. Bastards initially told her that they were rich now and started laying all sorts of plans, broke their heart when she told them my intentions. Big fight, she found out who in the family gave a shit about her really quick.

    Set her up in our condo a month later, got her to the doctor to get her checked out, beri beri symptoms is common in the poor ones (and that is about all you are going to meet unless you have time on your hands), started fixing her back teeth. Later her younger sister, one of the ones that supported her in the family battle over not fleecing the kano, was brought up to live with us so I covered her medical and dental needs too and got her in a good school. Offered to put the entire family on Philhealth yet not a damned one of them had an ID card or a birth certificate. Spent a few hundred pesos trying to get the mom’s NSO for Philhealth but that was after the Bohol earthquake so government offices were unreachable or destroyed in some cases. Told the GF that if one of them got sick and there was no Philhealth, tough cookies as that was my entire contribution to medical emergencies for the adults.

    Other than that, not a single peso except to the ones that went to work for me. Pay for the pre employment checks, ID card, LOANED them the deposit on the boarding house room (one has paid back her half already and there was no way in hell anyone was moving into my condo except GF and little sister), and later bought them two bicycles to USe as long as they kept them in good repair. Pay the minimum wage and regular benefits, allow 3K per month for the three family members for lunch supplies and that is it. Told the GF and little sister that I MIGHT make a small investment IF they came up with a good business plan for the family but it would be a few years before I was willing to do that. Other than that, want a job and are willing to work hard? I’ll help. Got a sick kid? Bring em up here, I’ll pay the ferry and bus fare and get the kid healthy before sending them back.

    Past that, no way in hell.

    Last trip GF and sister kept bringing up that when you marry in the Philippines you marry the entire family. Okay, l said, so little sister, when you get married some day does that mean that your husband has to sleep with your brother or mother or father? Have sex and everything? Totally confused Filipinas looking at me. But you must share they said. Share? Not a good deal with a family that is dirt poor, what are they sharing with me? Confused and upset Filipinas looking at me now.

    Love em if they treat you right, dump their asses if not. Nice guys are not doormats boys and girls.

  7. Profile gravatar of Barry Smyth
    Barry Smyth

    Here is one about 3 weeks ago the ex and myself took the sister in law for a meal at the club I am a member of, and you guessed it she ordered the biggest and best on the menu and most expensive.
    While I sat with my simple meal along with the ex the sister in law enjoyed the top priced steak on the menu.
    I did not pay for it the ex did but I find this truly rude but then that is how they are,she is on a tourist visa and going home in Jan but told me she wants to return for 1 yr I guess she has found the good life here in Aussie,and yes she will be back on the gravy train in the new year I am sure of that.