Poor Joe is in his 60’s and hails from the West coast of America. Back on the West coast Joe is a mechanic for anything that has an engine, pretty good one too.
Now Joe has a woman in the philippines that has two kids from a pinoy who kinda took off, nothing new there huh? So what Joe does is go to the states for about three months every year to work then return and live the remainder of the year with his woman. So like most foreigners Joe wants to set his house up for comfort. Nice tv, cable, furniture and so forth. Well one day Joe gets the idea that a chest freezer would be a good addition to the household belongings, which I’m sure most of us here would agree is correct.
So one fine day Joe goes out and looks at said chest freezers, finds one he likes that is big enough, pays for it and it’s delivered (in filipino time of course). So now Joe is as happy as a caribou in a mud wallow. He can buy ice cream to enjoy as he sits in the comfort of his house taking it easy. Shortly after buying the freezer Joe decides it’s time to return to the states, work for a few months and then return and enjoy the easy life once again. So off Joe goes on the freedom bird back out of the rabbit hole and back into the real world. Now everything is going great, Joe is making money, spending time with family but still thinking of his woman back in the rabbit hole, I mean philippines.
After his usual three months in the states Joe returns to the philippines excited to see his woman. Who in the mean time has been going around town in a very low cut top that revealed a lot of cleavage, not that I complained about that though. So Joe walks into his house and notices right away that the chest freezer he bought brand new three months ago is no longer in the house and no where to be seen. So in line with normal thinking Joe ask his woman (who we’ll call Busty for good reasons, two of them) where his freezer is. To which Busty says she loaned it to her brother because he needed it more than she did. Out to the car and off Joe goes to get his freezer from Busty’s brother only to be disappointed as you shall see.
Upon arriving at the brothers house Joe ask about his freezer as he does not see it any where in brothers house nor on the property.
Joe: Where’s my freezer?
Brother: I loaned it to a friend.
Brother: He needed a freezer to store some stuff in.
Joe: Do I know this friend?
Joe: Get in the car and let’s go get my freezer.
So off they go in a hail of bug dust with brother showing the way. Yes the friend was at home and yes he still had the freezer so Joe tells him he wants it back. Friend of brother says no problem but they have to clean it out first and leads Joe to the freezer. There, In the corner shining like fresh snow in the sunlight sits Joes freezer looking pretty damn good. UNTIL,,,,,,,,,,the door is opened!!! What’s that inside of the freezer? Car parts, trash, rotting food and such. But look closer, look at the inside walls. SEE IT?? Look closer then, go ahead and lean over and look. Don’t mind the smell of rotting food. There on all the walls, see all the holes punched in it? See the steam building up on Joe face? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? yells Joe
Friend: Ice kept building up and we defrosted it with a screw driver.
Joe: What fucking moron uses a screw driver to defrost a freezer and then puts hundreds of holes in it?
Friend: So we would not have to defrost it again. The car parts were freezing to the side and bottom of the freezer.
Now see Joe walk off shaking his head before he kills some filipinos?Published in