Time To Laugh (Part 2)

OK, folks.  Time to laugh a little more at some true stories (oops, I mean jokes) about the people of the Turd of the Orient.  Enjoy.

Q:  How do you brainwash a flip?

A:  Give it an enema.



Q:  What do honest flips and UFOs have in common?

A:  Everybody has heard about them, but nobody has ever seen one.


Q:  How can you tell when a flip is lying?

A:  It’s lips are moving.


Q:  What do flips do after they die?

A:  They lie still.


Q:  What is the difference between a cactus and a jeepney?

A:  On the cactus, all of the pricks are on the outside.


Q:  What do you get when you cross an octopus with a flip?

A:  I don’t know, but boy can it pick pockets!


Q:  How is a flip like a cue ball?

A:  The harder you hit it, the more English you will get out of it.

Q:  What is the difference between a flip and a mosquito?

A:  One is a worthless, no good, blood sucking parasite; the other is an insect.


Did you hear that the National Library of the Philippines was forced to close recently?

Someone stole the book.

Did you hear about the flip who locked his keys in his car?

It took him three hours to get his wife and kids out.


Did you hear about the flip who was paid 500 pesos to blow up a car?

He burned his lips on the tailpipe.


Toto goes to america to visit.  He goes to a bar, meets a girl, befriends her, and at closing time he invites her to spend the night with him.

     “I can’t sleep with you, Toto,” says the girl, “I have scruples.”

     “It’s OK,” replies Toto, “I will wear a condom.  I will not get your scruples.”

Published in Filipino Stupidity