TIREd of Filipino Failure!

 The following fails are very small in the grand scheme of things, but I think they nicely illustrate the total failure and utter incompetence that is just rife here in the Failopines.

 I finally broke down and bought myself a proper motorcycle. I have wanted one pretty much my whole life, but just never got around to buying one. Finally when I moved here to the Philippines it seemed like the perfect time and place.

 Cruising around on my new bike had gotten it pretty dirty. I headed over to the local car wash to have them shine it all up for me. As the guy is finishing it up he comes over and hands me a wheel weight. Very much to his credit he says, “Sir, I am really sorry, I was washing tire and this came off”. It is my belief most others would have simply ignored it and pretended it never happened. I told him, “No worries dong, I will head over to the tire shop and have them stick it back on”. I paid for the car wash, gave the guy a small tip and drove over to the largest tire shop in our area. I pull up to the front of the shop and one of the guys comes out, “How can I help you sir”? I hand him the wheel weight and ask him if he can put it back in its proper place. He looks down at the weight and then at me and then at my bike. After turning it over a few times he nervously walks over to the front tire and starts trying to match it up with the brake rotor, the caliper, the fork and finally the rim. I asked him if he had any idea what he was holding in his hand. “No sir”. “How long have you worked here in this shop dong”? “Two years and one half sir”, he cheerfully replied.

 Now it’s my turn to stand head tilted, mouth agape. “Dong, you have worked in a tire shop for two and half years and you have never seen a wheel weight?” “No sir”. Oooooookay! “Well since I am already here can you check my tire pressure”? Now he is happy again, this is something he knows about. “Sir you want me to put air in the tires”? “No, check the pressure first and see if they need air”. “The manual says it should be 28 PSI in the front and 30 PSI in the rear”, I tell him. Now he is nervous again. “Sir we don’t have a pressure gauge”.

 Come on, really? Really? I can feel the migraine starting.  “How can a shop that sells and services nothing but tires, not have a pressure gauge”? “I don’t know sir, we have not had one in the time I have been here.” “We just put air in it until the tire feels hard and let some back out if it feels too hard.”


 I thanked the nice young man for his time, put my helmet on and drove back home, wondering once again how anyone on this island manages to survive at all.  

Published in Filipino Stupidity, Low Standards


  1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    He will know when he put too much air in the tire blows up and kills him. Everybody thinks 28 psi is nothing. But you multiply 28 times the surface area inside the tire and you have a small bomb on your hands. Lots of people have been killed by tires.
    Of course Dong would not have a cage around the tire…
    I wonder what people who work in the industrial health and safety area think about this place.

  2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    Give that twat a big truck tire with lock rims to fill up.. They have videos on you tube where the tire blows up!!!!!! awesome!!!!!!!
    I just love watching stuff getting blown up.

  3. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I can’t even imagine why you thought these fucking imbeciles would know what a wheel weight is. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen any Pinoy “tradesman” with anything that resembles a tool kit as we might know it. They all have a claw hammer, a completely fucked up cold chisel and a bent screwdriver. The same tools fix everything from plumbing, to electrics, to motor vehicles. Just think yourself lucky that your bike didn’t need a damned good hammering.

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      The reason many of those guys don’t have good tools is cause it keeps getting stolen. I knew a guy who had good tools about 3-4 times, but he would turn his back and then it would disappear. He would do work on local shops, vendor booths, homes, etc, The shops and booths, he could not turn his back for a second.
      I asked this when he was using a small hand saw. I asked how much time that took compared to an electric. He said he had 3 different ones already. So, with the time difference,, he just said he passes the extra time to his customers. He needs to charge like 30% more on time. So, its the same, but he needs to push jobs further down the line. If the owner has tools, then he would use them, but he made sure if it was a booth or vendor in public area, he said he was not responsible for power tools. Many times, he wouldn’t take the tools unless the owner was there.
      It seems, Filipinos cannot trust each other. Who knew?

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike

        We were building bordering rooms and adding to our house and my wife bought 30,000 worth of tools all elec, planers, drills and so on. Damn if her own brother did not take and pawn them along with digital camera and more. It’s like I tell foreigners:
        1.) Never put your money in a filipino bank.
        2.) Like them as much as you want but never trust them.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      That bent screwdriver is for the bent screw a PFB member sent his CB to the hardware store for. THINK FILIPINO!!! One bent screw and one bent screwdriver and the screw goes in straight.

      1. Profile gravatar of Grumpykano

        I believe that was me. I sent my wife down to the hardware store to buy a replacement concrete drill bit that I bent into a 90 degree angle and they told my wife that they don’t
        sell drill bits shaped that way. That was my very first introduction to the filipino fail that is abundant here.

  4. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    A few years ago, I had to redirect some plumbing, which entailed some concrete drilling.
    I made inquiries and found a engineer. He showed up I showed him what I wanted to have done.
    He said he could do the job, he had a fucking lap top, so he drew it up so I was satisfied.
    Next day he shows up bright and early with two laborers, and sets them to work, with a piece of plastic with a fucking nail through it and a hammer for the drilling.
    Ok do you have any electric tools, YES SIR . OK stop work and when you have the fucking tools you can start.
    BUT NO SIR YOU CAN LEAVE NOW.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The next day he shows up with a Makita Hammer Drill with spade bits for hammering the concrete. NO LEADS.
    so they wanted to get out the FUCKING NAILS AGAIN.
    Nope I have a lead., you can use that. They were crestfallen. Im sure they wanted this job to last a month.
    They almost finished all the hammering and drilling that day.
    The next morning they show up, WHERE IS THE FUCKING DRILL.??????????????
    BUT SIR, I had to return it to where I borrow,
    Can you believe he wanted to go back to the FUCKING NAIL, AGAIN.
    WELL NO YOU CAN LEAVE AGAIN, can you barrow me some money for the trike home.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    These morons had a state of the art computer to do quotes on, but don’t have a fucking drill. and no money for a fucking trike.
    I called him back , about the leak. BUT SIR there was an earthquake last night???????????????Caused the Leak.
    YOU FUCKING MORON THAT WAS IN CEBU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT SUBIC BAY.
    I fixed it myself. Just shoot me if I ever have to deal with these engineering imbeciles again.

    1. Profile gravatar of TightWired

      I was never much of a “handyman”, but I was always dragged along with my dad fixing things (extra muscle/slave labor). If I was ever to set down roots over here (heaven forbid), I’d be a fix-man from hell. Better burning a little sweat then having to repair it again due to shoddy workmanship that seems to be the standard here.
      I believe someone posted a story about how he rewarded a pinoy laborer some new quality tools because he did such a good job. A few days later…”where’s your new tools ???…Blank stare…sold them for a fraction of the cost”. These people have to want to change, until then, it’s a waste of time trying to help them.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Shoot? No. Rott is kore than willing to throw you off a roof should you need that service. If you should decide to use Rott’s service then please pay Rott in advance so I can get my commission.

  5. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    I agree , its not like they are totally stupid as a race, look at Sarah, Although she does keep coming to the PI.
    and hangs around with police and sepos.
    Back to topic.
    It is almost like they want to be seen to be deprived so they get hand outs. I cant for the life of me understand it.
    If that asshole sold the tools on me he would,never ever ever set foot. on my property again.
    I wouldn’t care how good he was.
    I tell people all the time there, I am an engineer I fix things, I cant abide stupidity, Ill forgive ignorance but not stupidity.

  6. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    That’s the thing Don, Pinoys tolerate each other’s mistakes and shortcomings, (example, a son who quits his job coz he does not like working. Family feeds him and supports him till he can find something that he can tolerate). They’re always accomodating these lazy freeloaders, perpetuating the personality disorder traits. So here comes the Kano with his own (usually higher) standard of behavior and ethics and try teach the Flips this. Instead of learning, you, the Kano is the bad guy! While the Flip is seen as the under dog, “kawawa”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      Refer to my story of the KAWAWA Bakla Brother, The child bride would have tolerated that bullshit forever If I HADN’T BEEN HOME at the time.
      UPDATE, He is still working !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and is welcome at the house anytime.
      UNEMPLOYED family NOT WELCOME unless special event. Like the child brides birthday or. Christmas.
      WHAT A SHAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are in OZ for both this year.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Profile gravatar of Sum Dum Joe
    Sum Dum Joe Post author

    I am always left scratching my head at these types of things.
    How long would a business survive in the rest of the world that can’t even fulfill it’s most basic function?
    Another beautiful example of a business fail on Thursday of last week.
    Our kids’ school needed money, again. So I organized a car wash fund raiser. One of the things I told the kids we need to make sure we have is PROPER CHANGE. I have no idea how many sales locals have from me because, “Sorry po we don’t have change for 1000 or 500 or 200” WTF? Again how do you run a retail business without the ability to make change for your customers?
    So I head down to BPI with 10 one thousand pesos notes to get some small bills. They had no small bills. Yes. A bank as large as BPI had no small bills in the building. “Maybe we will have some time this afternoon sir” Beautiful.
    Just so much dysfunction.

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      Ive heard that many times from mates who have bars in Subic, you have to book the small bills order in.
      That wont mean you actually get them, but you can REALLY BITCH AT THEM THEN.

    2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      Do you mean how many sales they have LOST because they have no change.???????????
      I cannot count that far. Personally. No Change no pay. No order.
      Funny when you have already eaten at a restaurant. the running around to scratch up some change for you.
      I’m sure it is on purpose. LEAVE A TIP SIR. Fuck off.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      I knew one business that emptied the float out as soon as there was over 1000 peso, seems they didn’t trust the fucking staff.
      So they were there watching the float , and yet left no change in the till.
      GO FIGURE !!!!!!!!!!!!
      I have pulled out a wad of twenty and fifty peso notes and watched them drool and handed them a 1000 peso note

      1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
        Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

        I love to get out the large wad of 20, 50 and 100 Peso notes – then hand over 1,000, for a small bill. They look at me with salivating lips and say; “Siiiiir, you have smaller bill?”. I just love the looks on their useless faces when I say; “Yes. But not for you”.

        It’s the little things which bring me joy…

        1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          Lol, I’m not quite that brazen, but yeah, they can see I have plenty of change, and no they can’t have it, I’ll take theirs. Oh, and I got 10 and 25 centavos from BDO to be annoying.

          1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
            Don Quixote

            ME TOO the children wont even touch them.
            I will bend over and pick up 25 centavos every time.
            i leave them in the car so the kids have something to reject when they ask for money.
            At Christmas I throw heaps of them , and watch the disgust when they pick them up.
            They have no idea what money is and what you have to do to get it and KEEP IT!!!!!!!!!!

        2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
          Don Quixote

          I do the same thing on the TOLL ways , You have used the road and you then give them a 1000 peso note, WHAT CAN THEY DO.
          I have been ushered through without paying.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          YEEHAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SMALL VICTORIES ARE WORTH IT.!!!!!! FREE TOLLS.

          1. Profile gravatar of Thunderhead

            Pulled up at a toll booth in Indiana and all I had was either a $100 bill or pennies, nickels, dimes. I counted out $6.00 in loose change. The toll booth operator was livid. Threatened to call the cops on me if I did it again. It happens in every country.

  8. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    I was at a mates house a few years ago, he was going to renovate his house.
    He had a meeting with engineers to draw up ideas for the house, we had discussed it and had agreed that he didn’t want the peaked roof with all the joins in they way they do it in the Philippines.
    He just wanted a hip roof no gullies.
    Simple enough and it was a good job.
    Balconies roof and stairs etc, New Bathrooms new kitchen.
    Anyway, the engineers arrived. sat down opposite each other and the meting began.
    I thought to myself this is going to get bad, maybe I should leave before I say something.
    So I thought Ill have some fun.
    I asked them for their cards. they gave them up and I noted NO QUALIFICATIONS on the card, just engineering.
    and construction. I found out in five minutes these assholes had no qualifications apart from Computer Engineering. They were real good at CAT DRAWING, the amazing thing is they worked independently on their computers and come up with almost identical buildings.
    So every time you look at Flip Architecture and think its looks alike. That’s the reason , they have one fucking program in their fucking computers., and they wont think outside the square.
    Who wants all those gullies so the roof can flood and leak into the house in the rainy season.
    My mate never renovated the house , he sold up a year later and left the PI vowing to never return.

  9. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    I notice a lot of houses with peaks or what ever they call them.. Worst thing in the world is to find a leaking roof,, I swear water can run up hill and hide.
    It is especially bad when you have two walls together. They have that cheap crap,, they use ever 6 months,, vulca seal which is junk.. I have seen water proofing paint but have never used it. tho.
    They cant ev build an ordianry roof that does not leak,, The gutters are made out of the cheapst tin can material,

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      I had a leaky wall, when heavy rain the water penetrated from next door.
      I went into the rear yard to have a look.
      I found a pond where the ground had subsided away from the drains, I got my now useless gone brother in law to cut drains through the concrete so the small lake would drain away.
      Nope didn’t fix, I noted the weeping seemed to be coming through the wall.
      No doubt due to the shit hollow blocks they sell in the Philippines.
      The owner of the property where the leak was originating would not help, said they did not have a problem so all mine to fix.
      I covered that wall in Galvanized sheeting from the ground to the roof.
      STOPPED the problem ever since.
      Do I care what the neighbor thinks of the shiny new wall they look at every day.
      Same as they said, Doesn’t affect me your problem. It will rust or dull eventually.

  10. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    Well, the stupd Flip did it to me again. I took the ex-Bf’s Jeep yesterday to get washed. On my way back, I got sandwiched between a trike and a huge delivery truck parked on the side. Then suddenly, idiot Flip reversed on me without looking! I could not reverse to avoid being hit coz then the trike will get squashed! The side bumper of the Jeep sustained some minor dents, much to the consternation of the Ex. He knows th a t I’m an experienced driver and that has never happened to me in Australia.

    Ex-BF says “you should treat everyone in this country as idiots. 95% of them aren’t even licensed!”. Told Ex I am aware of that, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time! Thankfully, it only cost us P800 to repair the dent, but now we need a military green paint to touch it up.

    And to top it up, no decent meal here 2 nights in a row. My stomach is seriously asking for a vege based dinner. Choices are Mang inasal on the other side and Jollibee across. Neither were appealing and no one offered any meals with veges. That is, if you can call “Kalamansi” on a pancit with 3 slivers of cabbage a vegetable?