Tourist Attraction? FAIL! They Call it “Colon” for a Reason

For anyone out there visiting Cebu City for the first time and thinking about checking out the Colon area, don’t bother. They call it “Colon” because it’s as smelly and dirty as an unwashed asshole.

Colon Cancer Street, Cebu, Philippines

Not that it couldn’t be a tourist attraction. It actually could be if Filipinos gave two shits about anything other than themselves, which they don’t.

Personal greed and wanton self-interest has led to decay everywhere in the Philippines, but perhaps nowhere more so than this festering rat’s nest of teaming masses, filth, noise, and polluted air from jeepneys that “supposedly” go through regular emission testing. Yeah, right.

There’s another obvious fail right there. Well done, Philippines. Are those testing machines even powered-up when they use them? Makes you wonder…

Filthy Colon Street, PhilippinesIf you consult material from the tourism industry here, you might be fooled into thinking that Colon is a hip, happening place. As FiloFail has repeatedly pointed out here on this blog, that’s because this is the land of illusion. They will show you a turd and call it a candy bar. Maybe they need to lie about the hard truth of this place so they can live with it. I don’t know. All I know is that what is ugly to my eyes is beauty to theirs, and they flock to it like it was honey or something.

Colon is named after its main avenue, Colon Street, which is said to be the oldest street in all of the Philippines. It sure looks like it. The whole area looks older than death itself. Every building is caked in layers of ancient soot too deep to ever be washed away by the rain.

And speaking of the rain, during the rainy season here, most of Colon is underwater. I just experienced that myself not too long ago. It was a special treat, let me tell you.Colon Street Flooded The roads became rivers, and Filipinos – being aquaphobes – were all pressed back against storefronts in an attempt to seek protection with the overhangs. All I could think about myself was how much human shit must be floating in that water. Maybe that’s why the next day, when the place should have been swept clean by the previous night’s downpour, it still smelled like a sewer.

Better yet, the place is a trip-hazard extravaganza. It’s like they only employ former Shabu addicts to be civil engineers here, people whose brains have been totally fried. I’ve never before seen sidewalks like they have in Colon. It’s ridiculous. It reminds me of stumbling across a scree field: up, down, canted sideways, gaping holes all over the place. And don’t forget those sawed-off metal pole stumps that are all at just the right height to catch your toe as you pass by. Sheesh! Is this a sidewalk or a basic training obstacle course? Fuck me!

Colon Street BeggarsColon is infested with Bajau. For those not familiar with this Filipino sub-group, they are basically gypsies. And just like other gypsies, they are expert beggars and thieves. It’s widely known here that gangs of Bajau children have a favorite technique where they will mob a foreigner, then distract him/her by grabbing at their arms while other Bajau are busily going through their pockets. That’s one special feature of Colon you will never read about in the travel literature. Another is that Bajau children walk naked around Colon and shit directly into the gutter. I’ve seen that with my own eyes.

Ignorant Filipinos love to go to Colon and shop because it’s cheap, and it’s cheap because it’s Chinese-made junk. Most of Colon is owned by Chinese that have intermarried here and basically taken over, at least in terms of the businessesChinese made junk there. I can’t understand why that doesn’t bother Filipinos more or cause resentment. Maybe it does, but that doesn’t stop them from flocking there in droves to shop. Gotta save every peso when pesos are rare, never mind that whatever you buy in Colon is good for one use only. The Chinese are good at business, but they sure do make junk-ass products. And stupid Filos can’t get enough, because it’s cheap.

So, go to Colon if you want to breathe polluted air, smell shit, have your eardrums destroyed, buy crap products, discover what it feels like to be an ant in an ant’s nest, and get mobbed and robbed by Bajau youth. If that sounds like fun to you, then go for it! As for me, I avoid that place like the plague as much as I’m able.

Urban development: EPIC FAIL!

Published in Filipino Stupidity, Tourism


  1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    I have stayed in the Cebu Business Hotel there in Colon a few times, and you sure hit the nail on the head with this article! It’s really hard to keep your eyes on the little thieves and mobsters and watch the fucking ground you’re walking on to keep from tripping and falling on your face.

    Colon truly is a disgusting horrible place.

  2. Profile gravatar of mike-test

    Filipinos were stuck all their life in a shithole that stupidity becomes a benchmark. They are convince that the shit that “we” are talking about is actually a candy bar to them.

        1. Profile gravatar of

          Not in my case. I see shit as what shit is and not some candy bar. Where’s your sense of smell (of sniffing out lies) people!? People just don’t listen when you warn them and once they do, it’s now too late to turn back. And most of the time it would be like avoiding a huge pile of dump only to encounter another steaming pile of dung. Crap’s everywhere in this country.

    1. Profile gravatar of mike-test

      I do really believe that stupidity is the norm in Philippines. I liken the situation to a coffee connoisseur having a Nescafe freeze dried (instant coffee) and how it is a bench mark of a good coffee for Juan. Im not implying that “we” are some kind of elite. Let’s just say that we grew up having Maxwell as regular coffee and occasionally have gourmet coffee and then we had a conversation with Juan about coffee – imagine how frustrating the conversation is. What’s even more frustrating is – you treat Juan for a gourmet coffee for him to have an idea but afterwards he tells you how bad it was and that he still prefers Nescafe! And all you can say is WHAT THE FUCK!

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        But even though he may know the Maxwell coffee is better, he would never admit to it, because if he was to back down from his claim that the instant coffee is best, it would make him look stupid. And that can’t be in mind. So he will insist and resist the Maxwell to the ends of the earth, because the need to be right far outweighs honesty. I would stain his honor to admit to anything he has claimed but knows not to be right or true.

      2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        The norm is to not think, period. Self preservation at any cost is the instant and only priority, regardless of any proof or facts. I have noticed that in many cases, if the average Filipino says that the ball he sees in the distance is red, but as the ball comes closer, it is actually orange. Everyone can see it’s orange. But to preserve his need to be right, the true facts will simply be denied and he will continue to insist that it’s red. It doesn’t matter how obviously wrong he was. And if someone actually does convince him to admit it’s orange, he will claim a conspiracy that someone painted it orange, or someone made a switch with an orange ball when nobody was looking while it was getting closer, because someone is out to destroy his credibility and honor. They won’t go into what motive someone would have to do such a thing, and the whole argument would turn into a nonsensical clusterfuck of lies and illogic for the sake of self preservation. And the other Filos around him will be impressed with his tenacity and “honor”, and he will be forgiven and held up in respect for sticking to his guns no matter what.


      3. Profile gravatar of mike-test

        I couldn’t agree more. So imagine this – same retards that we are talking about here but they are dressed in barong/suit with chauffered SUV in congress and senate and pretends running the country. What do we get? MEGA FUCK-UP COUNTRY!

  3. Profile gravatar of

    hey dude, i am a filipino and i live nearby.. all i can to this is that, i totally agree with most of the things that you say… i know you’ve been very frustrated of the culture… mind you sir even me as a filipino, i hate it… i wanted people to change and see how stupid we look not only to our fellow fils but also to other nationalities and man i can say totally that even if you have this blog, people will tend to FUCK you up and doesn’t even understand the thing that your talking about… what i hate most is the blank minds and stupidness. i do hope other filipinos would open their minds and start a change dude..
    i wont say that all “stupid” things that your posting is agreeable to every mindful filipino but its a start for change…

  4. Profile gravatar of SuRePhilz

    i visited colon twice, i live in mandaue and the first time was to look for a supplier of fabric. GREAT WASTE OF TIME!!! the second time i got dragged there by this idiot buy and while walking 50 meters then my necklace got ripped of my throat.. ive been to many poor places in the world, but THIS takes the price! if youre a alien i the philz, NEVER GO HERE! Dont care how cheap you can buy the china crap for, its NOTHING FOR YOU THERE!!!

  5. Profile gravatar of

    I don’t disagree with you. Colon is pretty nasty. I grew up in the US as well and lived in the Philippines later on, so I know where you’re coming from. However, your post is very ethnocentric and I feel that you do not have a complete understanding of the government and socioeconomic problems in the Philippines.

    There are plenty of nasty dirty places in the US too. It’s not a cultural problem. It’s a socioeconomic problem. Places that suffer from poverty are just going to be like that. And it is extremely difficult to take yourself out of poverty, especially in a country like the Philippines where they don’t have the help that we do here.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      What is the cause of the poverty? People are so fast to excuse them because they are “Impoverished”. Look back and see why they are impoverished. They choose to be as a nation. they are poor and improverished because they are fucking dishonest, stupid, idiots. It’s not the other way around. Very few countries will have anything to do with Philippines. Their stupidity and corruption isolates them from the world community who would invest in the country if they thought their investment would do anything, which will just be wasted by the greed, unaccountability, and corruption of these idiots. They have epidemic CRS (Can’t Remember Shit), and epidemic stupidity and filogic.

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Why are they impoverished? They’ve been under Spanish rule for centuries. They only really gained independence from the US about 65 years ago. It’s a ‘baby’ country.

        Look at all the 3rd world countries. They are not that way just because they are stupid, and it isn’t something that can be fixed overnight.

        So you have a country that has suffered from war and foreign invasion for centuries. Secondly, it’s a very religious country that doesn’t teach its citizens about the basics of family planning (which is a problem even here in the US), and they are suffering with a rapid increase in population that the country cannot support. Thirdly, it is a country that experiences brain drain because it’s educated citizens leave the country. I could go on.

        So yes, much of the Philippines is a shithole, but to say that it is because filipinos are stupid shows a lack of understanding of the socioeconomic factors that are at play here.

        1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          I don’t know about all that. I see the same level of utter ignorance and stupidity and endangerment among those that are not in the least impoverished. I watch my neighbor, who lives in a very decent apartment, rent is about 18,000 pesos, they have a nice car and a motorcycle. I watch him and his wife mount on the motorcycle nearly every morning to ride their 5 year old son to school and drop the wife off at work on the motorcycle. Mom and Dad both have approved helmets on, child has NO HELMET AT ALL.

          I could give an endless supply of more examples of complete ignorance and stupidity among the financially well-off which completely equals the levels of stupidity you see everywhere. The stupidity does not discriminate among the classes here. Rich, poor, educated, uneducated, gainfully educated and employed, unemployed….they’re all equally dumb as fuck with only marginal variations in the levels of stupidity.

          1. Profile gravatar of

            There’s a lot of stupidity here in the US too, and a lot of that has to do with education. I’m a nurse (I know, so stereotypical), and the amount of ignorance among people that are not well-educated is pretty astounding. So it’s not a filipino problem. I’m sure that public health safety teaching is pretty lacking in the Philippines.

        2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          Man, they have been riding the “been under Spanish rule for centuries. They only really gained independence from the US about 65 years ago. It’s a ‘baby’ country.” excuse for decades. They don’t want to rise above it. It supplies them with an excuse for their utter laziness. They are experts at blaming others and blaming their history for not moving forward.

          “it isn’t something that can be fixed overnight.”
          65 years isn’t exactly “overnight”. I once heard a politician offering lame excuses on a TV interview about how they are still rebuilding from WWII. 65 years later???? Yet it is obvious that most of the money in this country goes into the selfish pockets of the few families that rule over the country, and not used to move their country forward. It’s corruption, dishonesty, stupidity and ignorance, and nothing more.

          Damn, excuses excuses excuses. The only socioeconomic factors that are keeping them from progress is their greed and blatant dishonesty, non-concern for their fellow countrymen, and their inability to just be fucking honest. Few to no other countries want to invest in Philippines because they have no accountability, no honesty, and they know their investment will be plundered and pocketed. Nobody wants to do business with these fucktards because they’re lying, dishonest fucktards who, in their minds, believe words speak louder than actions. They are experts at attempting to create an illusion with words, but their actions are opposite.

          1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
            Hey Joe

            Could not agree with you more.

            I consider my self as a history buff. Look, just look at WWII history for God sake !!.

            Singapore, Hongkong,Japan the list goes on and on.. of countries and cities that were smoking holes in the ground after the war. Japan..nuclear bomb !! HELLO !!!

            Just look at them look at the Philippines. Lazy, corrupt to the core. And just don’t give a shit about anything but ME,ME,ME. I got mine…fuck you. that’s it in a nut shell.
            I travel to many of the above countries for my yearly “visa trip”.
            Singapore would give the US a run for it’s money on it’s standard of living.

            I have never seen so many Rolls Royce and Lamborghini all in one place, super clean, beautiful parks like zero crime.. and best of all no one stops in the middle of the road just to piss like these uncivilized A-holes do.
            Oh, but wait.. I forgot. It’s more fun in the Philippines.

        3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          I agree there are stupid people everywhere. But Stupidity is the norm in Philippines, and it’s a very special kind of stupid. Like pre-school mentality stupid. Like unbelievably immature stupid. Like complete utter stupidity, beyond anything you could possibly imagine. Filipino stupidity makes all other stupidity look smart. It’s a mixture of no-logic, no reason, no rationality with a pinch of brain dead type of stupid.

          You can’t beat Filipino stupidity. It doesn’t get any more stupid than this.

        4. Profile gravatar of mike-test

          greyW, being a “young” country is not an excuse. I said this before and I don’t mind saying it again & again, Singapore, Taiwan, S.Korea are young country too and they really had a rough start but look at them now. On the other hand, Flipland had a good start, when the US left Flipland after WW2, the country was the most progressive country in Asia.

          I was able to lived in Singapore briefly, enough to observe the culture there. So here are some very evident (let’s say stereotype of them) 1)Discipline 2)Common Sense. Same in HK.

          Don’t take our words for it. Here.. And it really shows..

          1. Profile gravatar of NeoGeo

            Yeah, the Flips always seem to ignore Singapore in comparisons, probably because it dings their Pinoy Pride too much and represents an awful truth. Singaporeans worked hard to turn their country into a success, and they are proud of that. Filipinos worked hard to turn their country into Fucktardistan, and they are proud of that.

            Watching the Flips run the Philippines is like watching a man pour water into a Ferrari’s gas tank while saying: “I am NOT stupid. I am well aware that I’m ruining this fine sports car. That means that I am NOT stupid.”

  6. Profile gravatar of

    I do believe it’s a matter of taking a different viewpoint on this whole colon issue. Having migrated out from the country, I totally understand where you are coming from. The smell is unbearable, the crime is off the roof, not to mention the social problems that basically litter the whole area. However, if you just would consider looking at things in a different perspective (more specifically the locals), you could just understand the charm of this God-forsaken filth. If you have lived all your life in this hell hole, you could see humanity’s beauty amidst all the suffering. Just a few block away from colon, you could see one of Cebu’s old schools and you could see lot’s of impoverished students on scholarships working their ass off so that they can give a better life to their family. In the bowels of hell right smack dab in the center of colon, you could see probably the first supermarket which was built by one of Cebu’s prominent Chinese family. It’s a bit dilapilated now, but it’s just amazing how even that old rust bucket of building they call a grocery store can still provide cheap knock off’s and grocery items to those that can only afford so little in a meager income. It’s this inconspicuous stuff is what makes this place the charming little shit whole of a place that our corrupt department of tourism promotes. If you would just open your mind and just try to look at the general picture of what this place has to offer, you would soon realize that as dreadful and hopeless a place maybe, there will always be beauty in everything. And isn’t it the point of tourism? To open your minds to new things.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      All these Filipino students working their ass off in school to give their family a better life by setting their goals to get the fuck out of the country and work abroad and send money home doesn’t even begin to take a step in the right direction. Quite the opposite. It just continues the problem. This goal speaks loudly about their own view of their country. Hopeless and not worth staying to work their ass off to try to fix for the better future of their own children and grandchildren and generations to come.

      The disease of just ignoring/denying the problems and working to get the fuck out of the country to send money home will never fix it. Imagine if just a mere 1 or 2 million people got together to form a “fix Philippines” campaign, motivated students to set their goals on STAYING HERE and becoming leaders, and spreading an epidemic enlightenment of change. It has to start somewhere. I see NOBODY starting. I just see EVERYONE continuing with the routine of ignorance, non-accountability, hopelessness, and keeping things the same as they have always been.

      I see nobody willing to die for change in their country, but I see a huge amount of idiots spouting off “Filipino Pride” delusions. I see a military willing to die to keep things the same, obediently under the command of the idiots who run this country. Obediently ready to oppose those who seek change. Obediently ready to halt any rise up of the people against their horribly corrupt government.

      Until there are people willing to STAY and work their ass off for CHANGE instead of work their ass off to LEAVE, don’t expect any change anytime soon, if ever.

      1. Profile gravatar of

        I had the impression that we are talking about Colon as a tourist destination with which the main article is all about. However, you seem to be more concerned about the socioeconomic issues in which the country is currently facing. I have no comment on that. Have a nice day.

  7. Profile gravatar of

    yea, they are stupid!

    but lets face it. we are here/ live here because we cannot pay our own taxes in our own countries!
    we dont have that money!
    we just get our pension/allowance from our governments and spend it here.
    because it triples its value here in the f(&*&^$%#@!! philipines! where we can get a house, property and whatsoever…
    and lastly we will be placed in an elderly orphanage in our own countries when we get old!
    but here we can have lotsa lotsa maids and we call the shots , right?
    and our poor filipina wives as black and small as they are, can take care of us while we are dying here.
    so lets not descriminate and do prejudice. we too have our own stupid agenda.
    so lets sucked it all up!!!

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      Well now, that may be the case for you. It’s certainly NOT the case for me. I work and run a business here (the right way). There’s a few others that I know of which your version is not the case also. There are many here because they are assigned here for a job or other reasons.

      And we all DO suck it up. Nothing else we really can do. The idiots don’t take criticism, and most just deny and delude themselves the problems don’t exist, and few to none of them are willing to risk it all for a better future for their future generations.

      But we can sure release our frustrations and vent by talking and sharing. And that’s what this blog is here for. It’s not here to fix anything. I’ve said multiple times here that I don’t believe it can be fixed. These people are gutless to stand up and oppose anything that keeps them oppressed. They actually rather prefer it this way. It gives them an excuse and blame for their own laziness and corruption. The youth of this country see no hope either. That’s why the majority of them set their educational and professional goals on something that will get them the fuck out of here.

  8. Profile gravatar of

    I can’t believe that Colon is a “tourist spot”. Can’t seem to grasp it, really. As a student who once studied in the city in one of the state universities there, I can’t stand the grime and the smoke-belching vehicles. Consider also those street urchins who beg for coins while I’m waiting for the signal to cross. I don’t usually hand out coins as I am penny-pinching myself due to a tight budget a small student allowance could allow. Instead, I hand those kids a small packet of biscuits I’ve saved as a snack, enough for them to share. Just don’t give them coins. I fear they might buy themselves some glue to sniff until they fall into a stupor. But most of the time, when have nothing to give OR I refuse to give, I firmly say NO. Very un-Christian of me. Colon is just an example of how much I refuse to stay in the city during my college days and so preferred going home everyday to my hometown than suffer the congestion and discomfort. Travelling had it’s discomforts but my labors soon paid off, albeit temporarily.

  9. Profile gravatar of

    I’ve lived in Cebu for 26 years of my life… I never knew that Colon is a tourist spot. Funny how you mentioned the right and the truth about Colon. But… yes Filipinos want to shop at Colon. Yes it is cheap but it is not durable. It is sad that there is too much poverty in the whole country that all Filipinos can do is shop at a cheap place. A lot of Filipinos from the provinces go to the big City like Cebu or Manila to find a job, or thinking they are going to find a better way of living. But with no education, no career, no place to stay… a lot just end up staying in “squatters” area. But why they do this? why they let Foreigners make business out of their own land? Why a lot of Filipinos want to migrate to other countries? It is sad but it is all true… how poor and ignorant most Filipinos can be. But what do you think they can do? If one thinks it is not good to live there, they try their best to earn degree and get the h@*l out of there. Yes not all Filipinos are smart, nor they are intelligent. But sometimes when there is nothing they can do, they just have to live with the flow….

  10. Profile gravatar of William
    William Post author

    Just to clarify, as there seems to be a lot of confusion about the Colon area being a tourist attraction. As stated in the post, the street itself is the oldest in the Philippines. At the end of that street is the Colon Marker. Ever heard of Sinulog? Well, a huge part of that event involves the Basilica Minore del Santo Nino church in Colon. That’s why it’s a tourist attraction, yet isn’t, because Filipinos have allowed it to degrade into what it now is – which is the point of the post in the first place. Sheesh!