I grew up in the military community. A lot of military guys were married to Filipinos back in the 80s because the US bases were still in full force. My mom, a Proud Filipina, moved to the U.S. after marrying my father. Luckily for her, she didn’t have to change her attitude at all. She was surrounded by other ignorant, greedy, dishonest Filipinas who have all married their way into the United States.
Per usual, my mother tracked my every move. It gave her a false sense of power so she dragged me to her get togethers with her friends. No matter who she was talking with, where we were living or what year it was, the conversations remained the same: bitch about the stupid Kano husband and figure out a way to milk more money out of his family to send back to PI.
I am now grown and still within the military community. I happened to be on a duty station where a lot of Filipino wives happen to be stationed, also, and let me tell you: NOTHING HAS CHANGED. It’s like I’m 5 years old again and I’m listening to my mom and her friends.
Here’s a list of the tried and true statements I’ve heard for over 20 years:
1) MONEY! Does this surprise you? I didn’t think so. Money, money, money. How to get more of it, how to spend more of it, how to steal it, how to send it home….everything you can do with money (except save it!) is discussed. There is this concept that they’re “lucky” to have made it to the U.S. so they have an obligation to their less fortunate family members back home.
The big reason they send money back home is to gloat. They’re living with running water (that runs 24 hours everyday!), healthcare and government programs that provide way more than they should. The irony of all of this is they bitch continuously about anything American but HATE the idea of living in the shit hole that is the Philippines ever again. They love their cushy lives in the States. They hate America but I guess it’s the lesser of two evils in their eyes.
Payday on base is INSANE. I went the other day to buy baby formula and was astounded at the lines. On payday, an hour after the exchange opened, the lines were 10-12 people deep. No, these were not other mommies buying formula; these were Filipinas buying Michae Kors bags and Coach sunglasses. It was disgusting to see them strut around in tacky fucking sweats and a $2,000 purse?! Like shit…if you’re going to have a designer purse, at least look like you put a little effort in your appearance. The average Filipina woman treats fashion like filipino men treat earning a living for his family: it only takes one to do the job of many. Honey, a Coach purse or some gold bangles will not rescue your look from looking totally trashy.
The husbands of these wives are always scraping by a week after payday because it’s been spent. ALL OF IT. He’s borrowing money from coworkers for haircuts or skipping lunch because he can’t afford it. It’s disgusting.
One thing that surprises me to still be true is the Filipina’s perspective on intimacy. We all know they are devoid of any ability of really connect with someone so sex is just a means of bringing in income for them. They get together and joke about how they hold out for two days out of the month: payday. Their husbands are literally paying for sex. I had a Filipino neighbor who caught me on my way out the door and bitched how she needed to shave her legs because it’s pay day. She rolled her eyes and made it seem like she was off to a hard day’s work by having sex with her husband. There’s an old saying, those who marry for money, earn it.
Now, not all of the money goes to their ridiculous shopping trips. That’s just what their husbands think. They’re also at the western union sending money back home. Then they hit the clearance DESIGNER purse/clothes racks to fill balikbayan boxes. They never tell their husbands and I don’t think their husbands think anything is amiss; especially since they’re living in their twice a month coitus glow during this time.
I have heard countless Filipinas talk sooooo much shit on their generous, oblivious husbands. It’s almost like they think he deserves to be taken advantage of if he’s going to be this stupid. It’s really sad to see them spend $300 on a Kate Spade purse for their piece of shit sister back home but won’t spend more than $30 on a birthday gift for their husband.
These women are not in love with their husbands; they’re not even in love with LOVE. They’re in love with the security and financial freedom a husband with a steady income provides. They use these poor guys & it’s really heartbreaking to see. They think because I’m half Filipino, that I agree with what they do and I guess that’s why they talk so openly around me.
Money isn’t everything. But money is about RESPECT. Respect for the hard work you’ve done, respect for your generosity to share it with others. Nothing is free. It’s like Filipinos think Americans get money for no work. Someone has to work for it; they just go to extremes measures to make sure it’s not them.Published in