Isn’t it strange that when you get self-absorbed people such as Filipino’s they think they are the only ones in this world with a problem, meanwhile, there are millions of others repeating the same poor behaviours these people exhibit and everyday processes?
I am talking about dating here in these examples and the progression of dating Filipina’s while living in the Philippines. I have had foreigner women who have experienced a similar chain of events, again, 100% ripped off by unreliable, smooth talking Pinoy men. It seems that each person I dated over ten years living in the Philippines ended up being a financial drain of sorts and usually followed the ever increasing financial need – want, want, want. Demanding payments for this bill, that expense, this “family problem”, that emergency – the list is fucking endless AND ON A DAILY BASIS, it becomes madness.
ENABLERS, Nice guys, You know who you are – STOP. Fucking stop and say “enough is enough”.
In they come – foreigners galore like prey – http://www.trendingnewsportal.com/2015/11/english-man-gave-up-properties-for-filipina-gf.html
Prey to Filipina with big grins on their faces from ear to ear – here’s another sucker gonna pay my allowance.
Filipinos are takers, mostly ungrateful and self-serving without any regard for you. Worse still, they will never learn by their mistakes. I am struck by the way they cannot see relationships. The relationship of financial struggle and lack with having more children and coming begging to me as well as the consequence. Filipino’s simply cannot see some essential elements of life, cause and effect.
I mean, its strange that they would vehemently deny being scammers and yet, a couple of breaths later in the conversation ask for money because they are struggling with heads just above water. Sure, denial of being a scammer is correct, maybe they aren’t and are in genuine financial hardship – but there’s no need to say you will (miss Filipina) pay me back next salary when you know, I know you cannot – your fucking broke. From a decade of testing, many asked me for money on the first date, if not by romantic date number 3 or number 4, it is likely 100% would have asked for some help in some way whether to pay for some food, phone load, job application, etc. in the initial meeting.
I have even been asked many times for amounts of up to 5,000 pesos to pay for rent, illegal backyard abortions – even by cousins I have never met and gotten my number of the relative. In other cases, there are requests for fees for 10,000 to 15,000 from girls I had been dating a couple of months.
In some respects, that’s ok if you don’t mind helping someone in need. Where it becomes disgusting is when you get a level of ungratefulness to a point it feels you are part of some more elaborate factory as if you are being “worked” such as being the 200th Facebook friend you’ve been begged to. Even more disgusting is the “silence” you get after helping this ungrateful culture when even their local kind don’t assist them in and you say “so did you pay your rent” or “did you get the job” – and the reply is a silence as in (what the fuck are you saying?) – Ummm I can’t remember silence.
Here’s a typical pattern I have experienced when dating in the Philippines.
FIRST MONTH – you will get asked for phone load, food, paying the rent, fare. Amounts sought will be under 1,000 pesos to a maximum of 1,500 pesos. Demand level – Low – sometimes you can get 3 or 4 different Filipinos asking you for money in a day AND some regularly harass. Yes, 5, 10, 20 calls over the day begging. Imagine that with three people doing the same thing and you are talking a lot of fucking text messages.
MONTH 0-3 – You will get asked to pay for a job application. In the Philippines, you have to buy your position, i.e., Pay all the X-rays, uniform, government related searches, etc. Rent might be 1,500-2,000 pesos sought. Demand level is low although there is a lot more frequency of contact especially requests for money are starting to become more frequent and emotionally charged. Sometimes I have received as many as 25 phone calls and texts in a short space of time asking and begging for money. They won’t let up and take no for an answer.
Highly self-absorbed, Filipinos have one thing on their mind – getting the money. They will ignore everything you ask; they just want the money. They even have a belief system that they are the only ones in trouble, unawares as a foreigner, I have been asked for money THREE TIMES THAT DAY. It is common to be bombarded by these Filipino beggars from 3 or 4 different people in one day. Fucking horrible it is.
Even in some cases from the first date they expect to bring other friends along and have you pay for it. Little do they realise that if you dated many other girls that you would drive yourself broke, but like everything else, they try it on and see if the foreigners are stupid to say yes.
They simply don’t give a shit about you. Just remember that. They won’t care if it cost you 150 pesos in petrol and an hour to get to the pawn shop to transfer the money to send them 100 pesos. Yes, they don’t give a fuck about you – just themselves.
MONTH 3-6 – Would you believe the local disillusioned family might pop their ugly assholes up and say “why aren’t you two married, it’s a long time (yes! 6 months) that you two have been together” – this is complete garbage as I saw Filipino actors on TV that have been dating for 5 years.
You will find that many photos of some of the things you have given to your girlfriend are on Facebook appear with posing shots but your name is not mentioned. These are “gifts” from God. You won’t be mentioned.
Allowance mentality creeps in. Talk now of not wanting to work. In a lot of cases, the girl will have lost her job. One girl I knew appeared to lose her job so that I then start supporting her.
Talk now of wanting to be paid a monthly allowance. Why do they all want a fucking allowance! – I have had 100% of girlfriends asking for an allowance and asking to leave their work and do nothing at home other than to be with me.
Most likely they will do some Mult-level marketing job and want you to spend up big on stock so that she can sell it among friends or some stupid business like selling clothes online.
MONTH 6-12 – The family start saying things to the girlfriend like “why hasn’t your foreigner boyfriend bought you a house and lot”, have land in your name, jewellery and other things. Yes, materialistic assholes who are poor themselves coming from a point of view that the world owes it to them. I’ve had three other friends experience the same, so it’s not just me. This level of self-entitlement where the foreigner brings EVERYTHING to the table and they bring nothing (after all they have no job, no assets, no income usually) is expected to play by the families rule book of socialism. Whats yours is mine and mine isn’t yours (because I got nothing Sonny).
They simply want to start jostling for position and hand out. By now you will be paying for family gathering lunches or fiestas or birthdays. You may even be taking a tribe of people out for trips to the local swimming pool, all at your expense of course.
Usually, there’s talk about going into business, e.g., Working online, buying a sari-sari store, etc. You would have bought your lady friend a mobile phone. She will start wanting a computer to work online and regularly bring up the topic of the purchase of a PC for her.
You may have a girlfriend that things you will pay for everything like the fare for an aunt, the lunch for an aunt and her kids to come along too and be fed, etc. all without asking, they come along.
At this stage, she will start talking about buying a car. Not any ordinary car, usually something like a Mitsubishi Estrada or SUV of some sorts. Plus, she will talk about buying a house and lot. My ex even became a real estate agent and then was pushing me constantly to buy a property so she could get a commission payment irrespective of whether it was a good investment or not and could be rented at the inflated figures they quoted – 40k rent a month when the average guard makes 8-10k and a call centre worker makes c.15k – go figure that one out ….argghhh a Pinoy promise, they make it up when they want something and then back pedal when they are pushed for facts or need to repay.
MONTH 12-1.5 YEARS – School fees due. Yes, They fuck around and have 3 or 4 kids to 4 different dads then expect YOU to pay for the school fees. HELP. Will someone tell these people that they need to take some financial responsibility and stop having children when they cannot afford it? You may also have been approached by the sister or cousins to help “sponsor” a wedding. Again, they want to get married and have everyone else pay. The family might also ask for you to contribute to some repairs of the house, e.g., Concreting of the house or contribution towards the death of a relative you have never met, e.g., Dead grandma.
Along the way, all these demands will involve some level of urgency – particularly when delay in paying the money sought means that the “bill,” e., For the dead grandma sitting in the morgue will increase, the cousin in the hospital needs medical bills paid by 12 pm else the hospital adds more money to the bill, etc.
At some point during the year, your GF may have been scammed or robbed – at your expense. Yes, with Filipinos there’s always a promise or some scam and guess who pays at the end – YOU.
Marriage talk – They have no brain concept of marriage other than a church fucked up edict – Marriage buys happiness. They don’t understand that if someone brings assets to the table, the wife is entitled to half of those assets. Oh, wait, yes, they are Filipinos and know that and the game is to lock in a foreigner through marriage or a baby to get money subsidies. Having a subsidised life is the way they plan it.
MONTH 12– Your girlfriend will talk about going to “your country” or “I want to see your country”. If they have kids, they will speak of a trip overseas (not just Boracay) such as Hong Kong Disney land. Birthdays would have come and gone and you will get reminded well in advance about birthdays. Hint, Hint and more fucking hints for gifts. Christmas time is the worst and this is where the well known saying that is “wheres my gift” comes out. Even on the street people will say “wheres my gift” even if the arse wipe doesn’t know you, they are always hinting and trying it on to see if “Stupid me. Foreigner, enabler” will go, “here bro, here’s 50 pesos”.
At this point, there is a main family members birthday, especially grandmas (lola) or grandpas (lolo) which you are no doubt expected to contribute to – a party that could have 50 plus people attending. Perhaps they will expect you to pay for drinks and video which is usually the case. When you do, you will have food on the table that you paid for, etc. and people will come in, not say boo to you, eat your food and go. Lol. That is Filipino style.
As above, talk about buying a “small business” happens with the girlfriend but it may expand to helping a family member in a small business e.g.,. Dad in a van run, mum in a store, the cousin in a tricycle business or raising pigs. Yes, let’s invest in a pig so we can grow pigs and raise it. The only problem is many of my friends have contributed to this and gotten nothing but burned financially as a result.
YEAR 1.5 TO 2 – By this time, you would have gotten burned a bit from loans. The hands would have been coming out wanting loans for everything under the sun and promises to pay back next salary, but it never happens.
There may be suggestions to build a house on family land – DON’T FUCKING DO IT.
Don’t hand over cash for requests like to fix the roof that’s been damaged by a falling tree. It will never get repaired.
By this time you may have been burned by some service providers as well, builders, handymen, repairers, staff, helpers etc. who don’t realise that your generous for a reason to help them eg. With food, wages etc – not be a stupid fool and try and take advantage of you. Sigh… they just are stupid and will try and milk you for all its worth. You see Filipinos have a “lack” mentality and while something is there, will grab it and more.
This is about the time where you might start going crazy and want to do an exit Visa at month 24 plus. Taking some time out in another country as you are going slowly mad at the stupidity of your chosen girlfriend or tired of being lied to or taken advantage of by family members in most cases. Most, I say not all, but possibly the majority of Filipino families you meet.
If you decide to go away to your country for a break – be careful as myself and all my friends have found the Filipina is back on the dating sites, meeting guys. If not they will be on the phone asking you when you are coming back. Lots and lots of guilt trips wanting you back in the Philippines.
This is where she will really think about whether you are ever coming back and may start looking for other guys to get her visa out of the country so she can show off to her friends that she has made it.
For some girls they may be married and the Pinoy husband who is now separated sees this as an opportunity to make threats. Fuck off money as it’s called has to be paid to the Pinoy as technically he is entitled to 25%. I have met girls who are married and say “I haven’t seen him for 7 years”. Don’t bloody believe this – they are still married. There is every chance that Mr. Arsewipe Pinoy upon hearing his wife (legally still married) has a foreigner boyfriend will make some trouble.
For some by year 3 to 5 – they are dead. Seriously, do some searches. Real accounts of Koreans and Japanese deaths in the Philippines is harder. Search the deaths of Indians in the Philippines and you will be astounded. Yes, there are the unlucky ones who have been killed or had to leave the country. I know 3 that have left in the last 2 months due to threats from family members over money issues, yes, lying Filipinos that won’t pay back money or start demanding MORE AND MORE AND MORE and won’t let up then make threats. There are some cases where foreigners have been killed from kidnappers, kidnapped and released or killed by jealous former husbands (still married technically as there is no divorce in Philippines).
To be with a Filipina 3 to 5 years is going good going. Most of the guys have been skinned financially alive or have someone who is starting to question whether to hang around. If communicating to a bag of rocks is your thing then you will get on well with Filipinas.
By now you would have been taken advantage of in some way – whether a cousin has descided to move in unannounced or some other dispute over an outcome that differed to what you expected by a substantially different amount or quality.
Is this accurate? Can you add more accounts of fact to the article? I know I will remember other common patterns and will add more below.Published in