What I Learn’t About Dating Filipina Girls.

Isn’t it strange that when you get self-absorbed people such as Filipino’s they think they are the only ones in this world with a problem, meanwhile, there are millions of others repeating the same poor behaviours these people exhibit and everyday processes?

I am talking about dating here in these examples and the progression of dating Filipina’s while living in the Philippines.  I have had foreigner women who have experienced a similar chain of events, again, 100% ripped off by unreliable, smooth talking Pinoy men.  It seems that each person I dated over ten years living in the Philippines ended up being a financial drain of sorts and usually followed the ever increasing financial need – want, want, want.  Demanding payments for this bill, that expense, this “family problem”, that emergency – the list is fucking endless AND ON A DAILY BASIS, it becomes madness.

ENABLERS, Nice guys, You know who you are – STOP.  Fucking stop and say “enough is enough”.

In they come – foreigners galore like prey – http://www.trendingnewsportal.com/2015/11/english-man-gave-up-properties-for-filipina-gf.html
Prey to Filipina with big grins on their faces from ear to ear – here’s another sucker gonna pay my allowance.

Filipinos are takers, mostly ungrateful and self-serving without any regard for you.  Worse still, they will never learn by their mistakes.  I am struck by the way they cannot see relationships.  The relationship of financial struggle and lack with having more children and coming begging to me as well as the consequence.  Filipino’s simply cannot see some essential elements of life, cause and effect.

I mean, its strange that they would vehemently deny being scammers and yet, a couple of breaths later in the conversation ask for money because they are struggling with heads just above water.  Sure, denial of being a scammer is correct, maybe they aren’t and are in genuine financial hardship – but there’s no need to say you will (miss Filipina) pay me back next salary when you know, I know you cannot – your fucking broke.  From a decade of testing, many asked me for money on the first date, if not by romantic date number 3 or number 4, it is likely 100% would have asked for some help in some way whether to pay for some food, phone load, job application, etc. in the initial meeting.

I have even been asked many times for amounts of up to 5,000 pesos to pay for rent, illegal backyard abortions – even by cousins I have never met and gotten my number of the relative.   In other cases, there are requests for fees for 10,000 to 15,000 from girls I had been dating a couple of months.

In some respects, that’s ok if you don’t mind helping someone in need.  Where it becomes disgusting is when you get a level of ungratefulness to a point it feels you are part of some more elaborate factory as if you are being “worked” such as being the 200th Facebook friend you’ve been begged to.  Even more disgusting is the “silence” you get after helping this ungrateful culture when even their local kind don’t assist them in and you say “so did you pay your rent” or “did you get the job” – and the reply is a silence as in (what the fuck are you saying?) – Ummm I can’t remember silence.

Here’s a typical pattern I have experienced when dating in the Philippines.

FIRST MONTH – you will get asked for phone load, food, paying the rent, fare. Amounts sought will be under 1,000 pesos to a maximum of 1,500 pesos.  Demand level – Low – sometimes you can get 3 or 4 different Filipinos asking you for money in a day AND some regularly harass.  Yes, 5, 10, 20 calls over the day begging.  Imagine that with three people doing the same thing and you are talking a lot of fucking text messages.

MONTH 0-3 – You will get asked to pay for a job application.  In the Philippines, you have to buy your position, i.e., Pay all the X-rays, uniform, government related searches, etc.  Rent might be 1,500-2,000 pesos sought. Demand level is low although there is a lot more frequency of contact especially requests for money are starting to become more frequent and emotionally charged.  Sometimes I have received as many as 25 phone calls and texts in a short space of time asking and begging for money.  They won’t let up and take no for an answer.

Highly self-absorbed,  Filipinos have one thing on their mind – getting the money.  They will ignore everything you ask; they just want the money.  They even have a belief system that they are the only ones in trouble, unawares as a foreigner, I have been asked for money THREE TIMES THAT DAY.  It is common to be bombarded by these Filipino beggars from 3 or 4 different people in one day.  Fucking horrible it is.

Even in some cases from the first date they expect to bring other friends along and have you pay for it.  Little do they realise that if you dated many other girls that you would drive yourself broke, but like everything else, they try it on and see if the foreigners are stupid to say yes.

They simply don’t give a shit about you.  Just remember that.  They won’t care if it cost you  150 pesos in petrol and an hour to get to the pawn shop to transfer the money to send them 100 pesos.  Yes, they don’t give a fuck about you – just themselves.

MONTH 3-6 – Would you believe the local disillusioned family might pop their ugly assholes up and say “why aren’t you two married, it’s a long time (yes! 6 months) that you two have been together” – this is complete garbage as I saw Filipino actors on TV that have been dating for 5 years.

You will find that many photos of some of the things you have given to your girlfriend are on Facebook appear with posing shots but your name is not mentioned.  These are “gifts” from God.  You won’t be mentioned.

Allowance mentality creeps in.  Talk now of not wanting to work.  In a lot of cases, the girl will have lost her job.  One girl I knew appeared to lose her job so that I then start supporting her.

Talk now of wanting to be paid a monthly allowance.   Why do they all want a fucking allowance! – I have had 100% of girlfriends asking for an allowance and asking to leave their work and do nothing at home other than to be with me.

Most likely they will do some Mult-level marketing job and want you to spend up big on stock so that she can sell it among friends or some stupid business like selling clothes online.

MONTH 6-12 – The family start saying things to the girlfriend like “why hasn’t your foreigner boyfriend bought you a house and lot”, have land in your name, jewellery and other things.  Yes, materialistic assholes who are poor themselves coming from a point of view that the world owes it to them.  I’ve had three other friends experience the same, so it’s not just me.  This level of self-entitlement where the foreigner brings EVERYTHING to the table and they bring nothing (after all they have no job, no assets, no income usually) is expected to play by the families rule book of socialism.  Whats yours is mine and mine isn’t yours (because I got nothing Sonny).

 They simply want to start jostling for position and hand out.  By now you will be paying for family gathering lunches or fiestas or birthdays.  You may even be taking a tribe of people out for trips to the local swimming pool, all at your expense of course.

Usually, there’s talk about going into business, e.g., Working online, buying a sari-sari store, etc.  You would have bought your lady friend a mobile phone.  She will start wanting a computer to work online and regularly bring up the topic of the purchase of a PC for her.

You may have a girlfriend that things you will pay for everything like the fare for an aunt, the lunch for an aunt and her kids to come along too and be fed, etc. all without asking, they come along.

At this stage, she will start talking about buying a car.  Not any ordinary car, usually something like a Mitsubishi Estrada or SUV of some sorts.  Plus, she will talk about buying a house and lot.  My ex even became a real estate agent and then was pushing me constantly to buy a property so she could get a commission payment irrespective of whether it was a good investment or not and could be rented at the inflated figures they quoted – 40k rent a month when the average guard makes 8-10k and a call centre worker makes c.15k – go figure that one out ….argghhh a Pinoy promise, they make it up when they want something and then back pedal when they are pushed for facts or need to repay.

MONTH 12-1.5 YEARS – School fees due.  Yes, They fuck around and have 3 or 4 kids to 4 different dads then expect YOU to pay for the school fees.  HELP.  Will someone tell these people that they need to take some financial responsibility and stop having children when they cannot afford it?  You may also have been approached by the sister or cousins to help “sponsor” a wedding.  Again, they want to get married and have everyone else pay.  The family might also ask for you to contribute to some repairs of the house, e.g., Concreting of the house or contribution towards the death of a relative you have never met, e.g., Dead grandma.

Along the way, all these demands will involve some level of urgency – particularly when delay in paying the money sought means that the “bill,” e., For the dead grandma sitting in the morgue will increase, the cousin in the hospital needs medical bills paid by 12 pm else the hospital adds more money to the bill, etc.

At some point during the year, your GF may have been scammed or robbed – at your expense.  Yes, with Filipinos there’s always a promise or some scam and guess who pays at the end – YOU.

Marriage talk – They have no brain concept of marriage other than a church fucked up edict – Marriage buys happiness.  They don’t understand that if someone brings assets to the table, the wife is entitled to half of those assets.  Oh, wait, yes, they are Filipinos and know that and the game is to lock in a foreigner through marriage or a baby to get money subsidies.  Having a subsidised life is the way they plan it.

MONTH 12–  Your girlfriend will talk about going to “your country” or “I want to see your country”.  If they have kids, they will speak of a trip overseas (not just Boracay) such as Hong Kong Disney land.  Birthdays would have come and gone and you will get reminded well in advance about birthdays.  Hint, Hint and more fucking hints for gifts.   Christmas time is the worst and this is where the well known saying that is “wheres my gift” comes out.  Even on the street people will say “wheres my gift” even if the arse wipe doesn’t know you, they are always hinting and trying it on to see if “Stupid me. Foreigner, enabler” will go, “here bro, here’s 50 pesos”.

At this point, there is a main family members birthday, especially grandmas (lola) or grandpas (lolo) which you are no doubt expected to contribute to – a party that could have 50 plus people attending.  Perhaps they will expect you to pay for drinks and video which is usually the case.  When you do, you will have food on the table that you paid for, etc. and people will come in, not say boo to you, eat your food and go.  Lol.  That is Filipino style.

As above, talk about buying a “small business” happens with the girlfriend but it may expand to helping a family member in a small business e.g.,. Dad in a van run, mum in a store, the cousin in a tricycle business or raising pigs.  Yes, let’s invest in a pig so we can grow pigs and raise it.  The only problem is many of my friends have contributed to this and gotten nothing but burned financially as a result.

YEAR 1.5 TO 2 – By this time, you would have gotten burned a bit from loans.  The hands would have been coming out wanting loans for everything under the sun and promises to pay back next salary, but it never happens.

There may be suggestions to build a house on family land – DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

Don’t hand over cash for requests like to fix the roof that’s been damaged by a falling tree.  It will never get repaired.

By this time you may have been burned by some service providers as well, builders, handymen, repairers, staff, helpers etc. who don’t realise that your generous for a reason to help them eg. With food, wages etc – not be a stupid fool and try and take advantage of you.  Sigh… they just are stupid and will try and milk you for all its worth.  You see Filipinos have a “lack” mentality and while something is there, will grab it and more.

This is about the time where you might start going crazy and want to do an exit Visa at month 24 plus.  Taking some time out in another country as you are going slowly mad at the stupidity of your chosen girlfriend or tired of being lied to or taken advantage of by family members in most cases.  Most, I say not all, but possibly the majority of Filipino families you meet.

If you decide to go away to your country for a break – be careful as myself and all my friends have found the Filipina is back on the dating sites, meeting guys.  If not they will be on the phone asking you when you are coming back.  Lots and lots of guilt trips wanting you back in the Philippines.

This is where she will really think about whether you are ever coming back and may start looking for other guys to get her visa out of the country so she can show off to her friends that she has made it.

For some girls they may be married and the Pinoy husband who is now separated sees this as an opportunity to make threats.  Fuck off money as it’s called has to be paid to the Pinoy as technically he is entitled to 25%.  I have met girls who are married and say “I haven’t seen him for 7 years”.  Don’t bloody believe this – they are still married.  There is every chance that Mr. Arsewipe Pinoy upon hearing his wife (legally still married) has a foreigner boyfriend will make some trouble.

For some by year 3 to 5 – they are dead.  Seriously, do some searches.  Real accounts of Koreans and Japanese deaths in the Philippines is harder.  Search the deaths of Indians in the Philippines and you will be astounded.  Yes, there are the unlucky ones who have been killed or had to leave the country.  I know 3 that have left in the last 2 months due to threats from family members over money issues, yes, lying Filipinos that won’t pay back money or start demanding MORE AND MORE AND MORE and won’t let up then make threats.  There are some cases where foreigners have been killed from kidnappers, kidnapped and released or killed by jealous former husbands (still married technically as there is no divorce in Philippines).

To be with a Filipina 3 to 5 years is going good going.  Most of the guys have been skinned financially alive or have someone who is starting to question whether to hang around.  If communicating to a bag of rocks is your thing then you will get on well with Filipinas.

By now you would have been taken advantage of in some way – whether a cousin has descided to move in unannounced or some other dispute over an outcome that differed to what you expected by a substantially different amount or quality.

Is this accurate?  Can you add more accounts of fact to the article?  I know I will remember other common patterns and will add more below.

Published in Filipina Women


  1. Profile gravatar of Newq

    Talk about pattern, another pattern I see is that of foreigners going after needy women with needy families. This pattern should stop.
    Here’s an idea. One commenter said he gives Jolly bee food to children but only to those who did not ask for it. If a woman is specifically looking for a ‘foreigner’ (“asking for it”) don’t pay attention to her. She’s the needy type that probably comes from a needy family.
    But how do you find a decent Filipina who comes from a decent family? Great question. I don’t know. That requires great problem solving skills

  2. Profile gravatar of FHPS
    FHPS Post author

    @newark yep.
    i have seen some foreigners going crazy
    one guy
    bought land
    bought trikes for two brothers
    paid for parties
    paid for everything pretty much
    and the reply from the girl was still ….. I dont think you love me 🙂

    Thats words to say MORE MORE MORE
    Filipinos are bottomless pits
    when you are dealing with “pov” mentality and the feeling you have been hard done by
    or want to launch yourself from the shit pen so to speak
    they latch on like parasites – and milk it for all its worth.

    the also are masters of knowing what the hot buttons are to get the foreigners to pay.

    Sometimes the family completely fuck it up for the girl and if she suckers into their demands
    these crabs literally will keep her in the country
    and she will go through many guys thinking “is it just me”
    when all along the guy is seeing its YOUR FUCKING FAMILY that is leeching
    but sadly filipinos never self reflect – they never say sorry and mean it or they never think they are any way contributing to the problem.
    Just the guy”disappeared”
    or other stories i hear

    yes Newq hard to find a decent family with a decent girl
    going to the PROVINCE is no better
    they are just as uneducated
    and just as needy as those in the city.

    1. Profile gravatar of Newq

      No, girls in the province are definitely no better than those in the city. But if geography has any correlation at all to women’s decency, here’s my opinion: The smart girls from all over the country study in some of the more decent schools in Metro Manila. Many then settle there becoming “real professionals,” because that’s where many of the opportunities are (jobs mainly), including the opportunity to marry decent guys.
      I’m not sure if such a correlation exists and to what degree. But what I noticed is, generally speaking, women from the far far provinces make less sense than the educated girls who settle in MM

  3. Profile gravatar of FHPS
    FHPS Post author

    Did you see how many foreigners have been killed in the Philippines and its largely over money.
    eg. a guy in Palawan and his gf
    to an American and his wife stuffed in a well hole by his workers.

    I may write an article on this in the future.

    1. Profile gravatar of Newq

      Have any of you tried living in Marikina? It’s not perfect, there are leeches too, but generally more decent than other places in the PI

    2. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

      I think the one in Palawan was flushing his wealth, which is not very bright. Of course there are millions of ways to die in the phils but I think the majority show unwise behaviour. Stupid people have a shorter life-span, its statistically proven! 😉

      One should think people got smarter but recent American survey shows the opposite is happening now.

      Even though Pinoy gets the prize there are some idiot expats here as well!:-)

      Speak softly and carry a big stick is still Good advice!

  4. Profile gravatar of tambok

    We have been together for three and half years. The first year was torture as she is a total knock out and was not living with me and I think fucking other guys. She was on four dating websites until three months after we got married. Do you think she was fucking other guys?
    Now she is like a fucking sex slave. Doesn’t even want to leave the house. She has no family and is a loner. Different Filipina huh? She loves to be domestic and doesn’t show interest in other guys. Am I lucky or is she playing me. Never asks for anything outside of a load. By the way I provide everything anyway but nothing extra.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      So the entire time you two were formally engaged she was still active on dating sites. Then still active 3 months AFTER you were married. That should have answered your question right there. Now she is domestic and shows no interest in other men. BUT she did the entire time you were courting, engaged and after you were married. Keep your eyes wide open Joe, I suspect there is a pinoy in the closet somewhere.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      I did not have net access for about three weeks but was filled in on an article written by a member. If I recall correct it went something like this.
      The writer kept a list in his wallet that had the qualities he was looking for in a wife. So while riding his single up on Luzon he got caught in a rain storm and took shelter at a sari sari where he met this pinay. He said she never dated foreign men but said she did walk out on a date with a German and had been on dates with other Western men. She was not a GRO but all her friends around her were GROs who worked in Manila. He said she knew nothing about foreign men yet he indicated she was coached by her GRO friends on how to act and what to say to Western men. He said she flew through his list within 5 days and he lived with her and her family for 4 months.

      Ok, here’s the flaws in his story about the “perfect” woman he met:
      1.) She says she was not a GRO yet all her friends were GROs. Most likely she too is/was a GRO and her friends, family and her hid that fact from him.
      2.) He decided he was going to marry her within 5 days of meeting because she “sailed through his list.”
      3.) An honest and decent girl would not let a man she knew for 5 days move into her house and sleep in her bed with her. A decent girl would not drop her panties and spread her legs that fast unless she was a GRO.
      4.) What grown “mature” man with a beard has to write out a list of what wants in a wife and keep it in his wallet? I mean how does that work? I take Sarah out on a date and we talk. Then I pull out my wallet, get the list and make check marks or x as she answers the question or way she acts. “Burped/farted loud at table that’s a strike”.
      5.) I noticed he never said where on Luzon he was when he met her. Could have been within an hours drive and she just happened to be at the store rather than in Manila at her bar job.

      This guy was so blind and dumb to the facts staring him right in the face. Yes, this GRO conquered his purple helmeted love warrior in record time, not filipino time. Some how when I think about this guy and his article he looks like a Pee Wee Herman or Steve Urkel with a beard trying to score with anything that cums along. He is just another sex tourist and walking petri dish for VD.

      As I said a member passed the highlights of the article to me and I did not get to read it first hand. If anyone knows the title I would love to read it.

      1. Profile gravatar of Idiotocracy

        I believe that was Alexander the Empthat that wrote that article. He deleted it after he and I “discussed” his situation. Most likely because in the throes of explaining how caring and emphatic he was he pretty much admitted to banging an underage chick. You would have enjoyed the story but this guy is destined for a well himself if he sticks around in the Philippines.

  5. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
    Richard aka Dick Head

    At a comedy bar some months ago, the gay stand-up comedian was making fun of a European male in the audience in the company of a Filipino family. The comedian asked the white guy what he was doing in the country and I we heard him say he was getting married to the lady on his right. The Filipino family looked like a typical middle-class educated type and the “bride to be” was good looking. The gay comedian reacted tongue in cheek by saying “Hay salamat sa Diyos, may isang Filipina na naman na naka-ahon sa kahirapan” (Thank God, we have another Filipina saved from a life of hardship and deprivation). The white guy and the family took the joke good naturedly as the entire house erupted into laughter.

    Everytime I see a Pinay with a Westerner walking around together, I repeat in humorous fashion that gay repartee to whoever I am travelling with ! “Hay salamat sa Diyos, may isang Pinay na naman na naka-ahon sa kahirapan”

    1. Profile gravatar of FHPS
      FHPS Post author

      yep @dick-head and the 4-M joke
      in tagalog to mean – marrying a foreigner, rich, near death
      fucking low –
      its sick
      its like this passive aggressive shit
      where people get off on depraved humour
      toilet, school kids, pedestrian humour

      well,,,, i guess i get off on running filipinos down
      and saying how stupid they are WITH REAL EXAMPLES to show for it..

      Filipinos will never understand western
      humour – sarcasm, irony, analogy – all those things they are too stupid and
      dysfunctional to get the point.

  6. Profile gravatar of JudgeDredd0621

    How about adopting the very same position I take when accosted by young whippersnappers begging for food when their little arses should be in school – a big, fat, emphatic NO!!!!

    If that doesn’t help,how about threatening to sic the po-pos (coppers, bobbies, pigs) upon ’em???

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      What I noticed is that the pinay has the look one her face saying “How the fuck did I wind up with this fat, smelly bastard. Am I really that desperate?” The “Fat Bastard” Is texting on his cell phone,,, ” I want, I want my baby, baby back ribs!” Now as disgusting as it might be to picture him at a table wolfing down a whole herd of baby back ribs there is one thing worse. Him coming at that pinay naked in the bedroom with a hard on. Now for once I can say I do fell sorry for a pinay.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        Awww, holy shits! Jabba the Hutt made it to earth!! Except that’s not Princess Leia on his grasps!
        By the way, if he has his arms so tight around her neck/chests. why is his face on his phone?? Or maybe he’s ordering Pizza or as Mike suggests, baby back ribs? Looks like he’s been eating a whole buffalo by the size of him!

  7. Profile gravatar of Rice Ganda
    Rice Ganda

    We have just spent a few days in Singapore, and were hanging around our hotel lobby after check-out this morning ,waiting on our taxi. A young, fat British guy walks in, Filipina hanging off arm,entire tribe in tow….British guy checks them into 4 or 5 rooms. Hands over pile of Filipino passports with assorted white labels stuck all over the covers (from previous attempts at getting student/maid visas to get the heck out of the Failipinnes). Receptionist asks for deposit of 50 dollars per room per night.. Guy hands over credit card…Im sorry sir,your card has been declined….. Entire tribe go apeshit at the British guy. Girlfriend runs out in Tampo….. We order another beer. Great Saturday lunchtime entertainment!!