What’s Your Address?

This is a question that will certainly invoke the ever-so-common “BLANK STARE” from the typical Filo idiot.

I was looking for a place to live for a 4 month stay in Cebu. I found plenty of what appeared to be pretty nice apartments in the Cebu City area via the internet.

But ask the location and address so that you can go view the place, and you’ll be in for a hair-pulling, confusing, long drawn out explanation.

“Turn right at the bright green house and go straight until you see a sign that says “Tio’s Lechon” then turn left. Then when you see a big tree next to a big boulder turn right and continue up the winding road until you see a row of  coconut trees…..

Don’t you idiots have an address system????? It’s 2013 for fuck sake!!

I guess the idiots there in what is supposed to be the 2nd largest metropolis in Philippines are just too fucking lazy and stupid and incompetent to install street name signs and give each building a numbered address like pretty much EVERYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH!!!

I once sent myself a letter through the postal system. Went to the nearest post office and submitted my letter for mailing. Mind you, the letter was to be mailed from the post office no more than 4 or 5 kilometers away to my place of residence. It took me all of about 15 minutes to travel from the post office back to my home.

Guess how long it took my letter to be delivered to my house not more than 5 kilometers away….27 DAYS!!! That’s nearly 1 month to go across the barangay!!!!!


Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of TightWired

    I just drove my girl friend home a little while ago. I shit you not…She forgot how to get home. “Where is the internet café street that I turn left on”. I ended up having to remind her that it’s farther up the road.
    All those little steps she’s made in the past 6 months, have now all been reset to Idiot Level.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      hahaha idiot girlfriend you have there. better off with her and choose a new girl with a higher common sense.
      and oh one thing, better get a proffesional working girl not an 14, 15,16,17, 18 year old girls.

  2. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude


    Dude that is fucking killing me!!! That`s why I love that site! IT`S KILLING ME!!!!! Funniest than an episode of Seinfeld.

    Is you said, that society is purely INCOMPETENT! And those religious freaks can pray all day long, it`s only making them worst.

    I`ll never buy a GPS made in the Philippines, it will tell me to turn right at the big tree.

  3. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Honestly, you gave me a brilliant idea. I’m going to try that before I start ordering shit off of ebay, I want to make sure that my address is correct, and at least exist in the Philippine address system, plus I am already expecting mail that hasn’t arrived yet. What a very incompetent postal system…. arghhh!!!!

  4. Profile gravatar of huwag-kang-tanga

    When I get shipments from the US it takes even longer, it hilarious because UPS and FedEx will track the package into the Philippines, but after that it’s just a black hole. It will take like 6 days to get from the US to Manila sorting facility, and then 3-4 weeks later they bring a slip of paper that says you have a package and you have to go pick it up, usually the guy who brings the slip is like “man I had a hard time finding your house there were no directions just the address” yes that’s because when people send a package from the US there is no section labeled “landmarks” or “directions”.

    The order forms for fast food here usually just have a big section for directions/landmarks, if you just put the address they will call you and be like how do I get to your house? This also reminds me no one knows how to use maps here, or has any concept of direction or distance, north east south west, no idea. Every filipino asks me how I learned to get around so fast? Um it’s called google maps, and knowing which way I’m facing and which general direction I need to go.

    Another thing about addresses and directions, when we give directions, we give an estimate oh it’s about 1/2 a mile or 2km, or about 100 feet, what do they say? “Dyan lang” (just there) but everyone’s dyan lang is completely different. Just a few days ago, I asked a guy if the LRT station I was looking for was close, he of course replied yeah its just there. So I’m walking and everyone I ask keep saying it’s up ahead, it was almost 2km. I even asked these people if it’s walking distance, yes yes they say. I’m not complaining about walking over a mile, it’s just the time thing, I could have taken a jeep up the same road and been there in a few minutes instead of 20, my time would have been worth the 8 peso jeep ride, but everyone I asked assured me its close, it’s just ahead. Even if you ask specifically how far is it you will always get either malapit lang or malayo, it’s either near or far, but you will never get an estimate of distance.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      That’s because they are too fucking lazy to walk. When they say “it’s just there” it means by jeepney ride, not walking. They don’t walk.

      I can’t tell you how many times I have seen young men in their 20’s, completely capable, jump on a jeepney, pay the fee, and only ride it about 80 to 100 meters, then get off. I see it happen almost daily. Lazy fucks.

      They’re afraid of a little rain, they’re afraid of a little sunshine….is there anything they’re NOT afraid of? SUS!!

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        True and True. Rain=Umbrella Sunshine=Umbrella. I see it used in both occasions. Even if a lady was stepping out of the shade to cross 10 meters of an exposed sunlight area, I see the umbrella go up again. I see this alot on my way to the SM in my city.