I’m going to do something I rarely do here…share from my personal file, so just a head’s up that I’m not looking for a “dump her” consensus. Just venting on something that happened that boggles my mind. Enjoy!
I love my Filipina. I really do. She’s actually my age, and we connect on so many levels. She speaks english fluently and works a professional job, making her very proud that she pulls her weight. We have a lot in common, and we’ve both been through a lot of ups and downs in the past 6 years we’ve been together.
But every now and then, the pinay comes out in her, and I’m left scratching my head and going “WTF!?!?” Today had just such a moment.
So the backstory goes like this. My Filipina has two sisters, both younger than her. One of them (the middle one) I’ve never had an issue with. They’re respectful and treat me as such. But the youngest one…the one that put me and my Filipina together to begin with…is bossy, always thinks she’s right, never apologizes for shit she does, and expects everyone to cater to her because she used to be young and prettier than her sisters. I’m not saying this out of spite…I know. I dated her online before I ever met her sisters, and that’s while she was still married to her husband (that she was accusing of cheating on her…he wasn’t. Love the irony there.).
So a few years ago, the youngest sister made the decision that I wasn’t good enough for her sister. I didn’t have tons of money, I didn’t pay for my Filipina’s annulment and whisk her away to the US so everyone else could move there, etc. I just moved here to live here with her (yes, I was very clueless back then). So, instead of keeping her opinions to herself, she decides to start chatting my Filipina up with attempts to convince her to dump me and move on. I, of course, found this out when my Filipina started acting suspiciously, so I checked her phone and saw all of the messages. I put my foot down then. No more younger sister in our lives.
But, of course, that didn’t hold, and the youngest sister was back at it again. Yep. Round two. This time, I CLEARLY put my foot down, albeit a bit wiser, and said that my Filipina could visit her all she wanted, but I in no way, shape, or form, wanted the youngest sister anywhere near me or involved in our personal matters whatsoever. It was one of those things where I practically spelled each word of the sentence, just to be extra clear.
Well, it’s present day, and we moved to the same town….actually, just down the street really from the youngest sister. This is what my Filipina wanted, and I like the area, but I made it VERY CLEAR again…no youngest sister around…period. Well, sure enough, not even 2 weeks into living here, my Filipina is telling me that the youngest sister is stopping by to drop something off. I again make it very clear that I do not want this. This is NOT to happen. She said she understood, but apparently that just zipped right back out of her brain. A little while later, it’s the youngest sister knocking at the door.
My Filipina rushes to make sure she’s out the door to greet her before I say anything. But….you know…that doesn’t stop me. Out the door I go as well.
“You need to leave. This is the last time you are ever to come here again.”
“You heard me. You and I have a long standing beef. Don’t come here again.”
“Don’t worry about it. I won’t.”
My Filipina is near tears at this point, and sure enough, lets me have it with this line of pure shit:
“You could have been civil!”
“I told you she was not to come over here.”
“But she didn’t come INSIDE!”
WHAT!?!? That’s like saying “Sure, I punched you in the face, but I didn’t break any bones..so it’s ok, right?”
No, it’s not ok. Not at all. And then begins the one hour long “Argument” (I say with quotes because I get mostly the silence while I’m left to do all the talking). She pipes in about how it shouldn’t matter what I want because they’re blood…her family. I remind her that in the rest of the world…you know, the parts of it that are sane and civilized, the marriage comes before the family. Even if you don’t like the boundary the other one has set, you have to respect it and find another way to resolve it.
But most importantly, you DO NOT EVER EVER EVER treat the other spouse like an idiot and play the loophole game. I stopped doing that shit with my kids when they were like 6, and even that was letting the joke go on too long.
So the moral of this diatribe is:
- FILIPINOS LET THEIR FAMILY GET AWAY WITH ALL KINDS OF SHIT
- THEY WILL TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON BY LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH SAID SHIT
- TREAT YOU LIKE THE BAD GUY WHEN YOU DON’T LET THEIR FAMILY GET AWAY WITH SAID SHIT.
- WILL TRY TO BREAK UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOU’RE NOT RICH ENOUGH TO SOLVE ALL OF THEIR PROBLEMS FOR THEM.
- WILL TWIST EVERYTHING YOU SAY IN AN ARGUMENT TO AVOID THE REAL TRUTH OF ANYTHING
- THINK GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT WINS THE ARGUMENT (IT DOESN’T)
- HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A CHILD BY USING BASELESS LOOPHOLES TO MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY’RE CLEVER (THEY’RE NOT).
- THINK YOU’RE STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIVE SAID BASELESS LOOPHOLES.
- THINK FAMILY COMES BEFORE YOU, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE.
And that’s my personal rant. I love her, but she’s gone more and more native over the past years. Hints of religious stupidity, wanting to cheer Manny on, a lack of desire to even talk about politics, let alone vote against the bad ones, and then this crap. I love her, but she just doesn’t get it. If I wanted to have to deal with this kind of stupid shit, I’d have done it with some young clueless twit with a hot body. At least then I’d get some satisfaction out of an argument.