When I was in the Philippines, they brought a priest to bless the house. That was about Christmas time, so I thought it must be a fun thing to watch!
The whole family gang were there: nanay, tatay, a collection of ate(s), kuya(s), tito(s), diko(s)… whatever! The mother in law asked my wife to tell me if I participate: “it’s a very important ceremony and everyone must join”. I said “no, thank you!”; I grabbed my beer and left the scene to the backyard.
The priest with a sprinkle in hand, checked every corner of the house; everyone was following him with a candle, including my wife and the kids. They did their things and sat at the table and ate. I was still hanging out in the backyard, drinking the second one!
When they left, my wife told me that the priest asked her if I am a Catholic? The answer was “No”. Then, the priest asked her if our kids were baptized in a Catholic church? Again, the answer was “No”. At that point, like he heard something very strange, he looked into her eyes and told her: ma’am! I warn you that your kids are bastards!! Baptize them in a Catholic church ASAP!
Well, this punk was lucky I wasn’t around, otherwise I would show him who the real bastard is!Published in