I have a Korean friend who flies to the philippines one week each month from Korea to see his family, nice guy. This he does every month, spend a week then work three in Korea. Well every time he come there is a trip to one of his two favorite resorts which my wife, son and I get invited to go with them. Yesterday was one of those days so my cooked up food to take along for everyone to enjoy then everyone piles in his Chevy and off we go with his Filipina girl driving on an hour trip to the mountain resort. Nice scenery when we got out of town and away from the assholes, but it’s the philippines. So driving down the FOUR LANE road, as usual the only lane they will use is the left then wait to pass using the oncoming lanes while the right lane clear for miles around. Well his woman waits, have to admit she is a better driver than most I have seen here.
So after a time the road narrows to two lane but less traffic and what do you deal with then? Tarps spread out taking up your lane so the can dry their rice, FORGET about using the empty lot next to the house. So we get to the resort and have it all to ourselves when I notice something I have RARELY seen since arriving here. TRASH CANS all over the place!!! GREAT!!!! It’s gonna be clean!!!!! Then I see the signs, “Watch for loose wild monkeys” “Not responsible for wild monkeys”. OK, now I had the same thought that you are having this very moment about the signs but go on my way. Well we get a little hut and start up the BBQ and start enjoying the fresh air with no sign of wild monkeys as the signs warned. About an hour after we arrived a group of filipinos show up and occupy the hut next to us and start the yelling and loud music, then the wild monkeys show up as soon as the hear the yelling and music. So next hut decides to feed them. Please remember you first thought about the wild monkey signs. So one chubby pinay goes over to the tree, starts scratching her head, making monkey sounds, beating her chest and doing the ape walk. What did the monkeys do? They just sat their with the “What is this dumb bitch doing”? look on their face. I could see the monkeys look at each other as if saying “And they are suppose to be higher on the ladder of evolution”?
This went on for well over an hour by several filipinos. I even told one group now we know for fact which is smarter only to get the blank look from the group. Yea, I know. Imagine that. As for the trash cans, that was a waste as snack wrappers thrown every where including the crystal clear river that was there for swimming. I will never figure out why filipinos have a severe aversion for trash cans. As to the “Wild monkeys on the loose” feel free to make up your mind whether the group in the trees or the next hut was the wild monkeys on the loose. I have.Published in