Yellow Jackets and flips

It’s the late summer here in the Temperate Zone of the Northern Hemisphere, and for those on this forum who have ever lived in or visited the Eastern United States and/or Canada, you know that the late summer is Yellow Jacket Season.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Yellow Jackets are stinging insects, about 2cm in length, who are members of the wasp family.  Many people refer to them as “bees”, but bees are a different species of insect–bees tend to be more docile, and can only sting once (it’s stinger has barbs so it is left behind after the bee stings, which leads to the death of the bee), but Yellow Jackets are much more aggressive and can sting multiple times.  Moreover, many people are allergic to Yellow Jacket stings and can end up in a hospital emergency room if zapped (and, in extreme cases, such stings can be fatal if the victim is highly allergic).  Toward the latter part of the summer, Yellow Jacket nests become rather large (a good size nest can have a thousand or more Yellow Jackets), and the competition for food (normally flower nectar) becomes strong, so Yellow Jackets turn to other sources of nourishment–like People Food.

Anyway, recently I was volunteering in the food service area at a community event, and true to form, Yellow Jackets started making their appearance.  Ahh, nothing like a yummy hot dog, bun, potato chip, Oreo cookie, or Coke to satisfy a Yellow Jacket’s gastronomic desires, and they are quick to take ownership of anything that is sweet and/or greasy.  Unfortunately, they often try to assert their “superiority” by irritating and/or stinging anyone who tries to shoo them away.  Thankfully, no kids were hit while I was working there (as far as I know–I did not hear any young screams), but one of the volunteers had to nurse a sting (and my dog was an unfortunate victim about two weeks ago when he accidentally stepped on one).

So why would I write about insects that are found in the United States and Canada on a forum dedicated to the immeasurable pride, lunacy, pride, stupidity, pride, idiocy, pride, corruption, and pride of smooth-skinned baboons in the Banana Republic of the Philthippines?  Well, think of it this way–Yellow Jackets are prolific reproducers who go to places where they are not invited and not welcome, irritate the human beings who are unfortunate enough to be around them, instantly take ownership of anything that they desire, refuse to leave until they have their fill, and become aggressive and sting any human who happens to “offend” them by trying to shoo them away, with such stings being quite painful and potentially fatal to the human victim who never wanted them around in the first place.

The exact same thing can be said about flips.

Published in Humor


    1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips
      snakebitbytheflips Post author

      Actually, a flip wife is much like a tapeworm (except that the tapeworm is more intelligent), for once you end up in a relation with one, it will attach itself to you and suck you dry. As if that’s not bad enough, it will multiply and you will end up with little tapeworms also sucking you dry. Sigh….